I am a 44 year-old male living in London.
My name is David but when I say it over the phone,
people mishear it as Mavis. So instead, I use my
middle name, Paul.
Well, it is now the end of March 2004
and things have not been too bad. However,
my teeth have been giving me a lot of problems.
If you have read this far and not had enough,
then here goes! I bet you're thinking by now that
"this guy can really go on" but I just want to
highlight the importance of diagnosing Cancer
at an early stage when it can be treated with
greater success and less treatment or complications
afterwards.
This is basically aimed at you people out there
who have that LITTLE white lump in your mouth
and don't know whether to get it checked out or
not. I had my lump checked out several times,
over many weeks, at my GP but it was my Dentist
who sent me to the local Whittington Hospital
for a biopsy.
The biopsy was clear thank god and I went away
celebrating with a peace of mind, only to have
lumps appear in my neck during the last week of
my holiday (explained earlier here).
Well the Cancer
had reached my neck by then and there was
no choice but to have radiotherapy which,
apart from other things, left my teeth rotting
with constant pain and abscesses; my weight
was down to eight stone and there was no sign
of recovering. The dentist was scared to remove
my teeth in case of an infection (I say, there
is a fancy word!) in my jaw.
So here I am on strong painkillers, teeth
falling out at the most unexpected times and
the way it has left me looking... well, you
can judge for yourself!
All I can say is that IF you have any DOUBT
about a little lump, or big one, then go to
your nearest Max Fax as soon as possible.
I had never heard of them until I was referred,
after many calls, from the Eastman Dental
Institute in London. |
|
[Photo: Problems with my teeth] |
[Photo: Taken 26th November 2004 outside
my second home] |
I have to say that the Max Fax at the UCH
London is EXCELLENT. I cannot repay the
kindness of the doctors, nurses and receptionists.
Here is a personal joke:
I was on the London underground (tube) looking
around, as you do, when I noticed something
odd. A lot of people appeared to have mouth
or jaw problems on this train because they
were all chewing their food like me! So,
I started wondering if there was a convention
that everyone else was heading to, that
no one had told me about. Or perhaps I was
setting a trend! I thought about it hard
and then it hit me "You idiot Paul," I thought
to myself, "they're all just chewing gum!"
04 coming to an end
Well it is now December. I had thought this
was going to be my best year but alas no the
cancer complications keep coming with a vengeance.
There are also other physical problems but
I will stick with the main issue. I am saying
here what I want to say and if anyone is offended
or feels I am crass or pathetic please let
me know (He He)
Well going back to the beginning, I left my
partner of many years to come back to live
on my own. Although not distressed about it,
I am sure very lonely. I hate the way people
see me and look at me. My pensioner neighbour
thinks I am her age and says to me ‘people
of our age!’ I am only 44, ok 45, for
Christ sake! When I speak or try to, people’s
faces change - they think I am a nutter!
I have been to the Max Fax Dept most weeks
since March because of my teeth or biopies.
A few weeks ago, my consultant Mr K (a great
man) and his fellow doctors said that my
Cancer site did not look right and they
need to biopsy again! It’s been a
dilemma, since after the last biopsy I booked
to go on Holiday to India on 9th December
. I cancelled the holiday yesterday as I
am just too damn weak and my teeth are so
painful & sore. India’s the last
place you would want to go if you are unwell!
Shit to this Cancer! I am afraid it beats
everyone sooner or later and no matter how
positive you are, it comes back to haunt
you.
I have already been informed what will happen
to my teeth sooner rather than later and
I do appreciate Mr Barrett’s honesty
but, God, it will be another long and painful
procedure!
I am hoping to get the courage and confidence
tomorrow to say look, enough is enough,
how long have I got without anymore treatment
and let that be the honest truth!
How can they talk about quality of life
when I don’t have one anymore! Like
many on this site, we just put on a brave
face.
People do not mention faith much on here
but I am going to. I do believe in God and
an after-life and often go to Church to
talk to my Mum, but deep down I am praying
that she cannot see what’s happening
to me physically and mentally. I have not
really ever thought of why I got the cancer.
I don’t blame the Dr or the Gp, so
why blame God for my illness? I think it
was just bad luck, as simple as that.
I have only really a few people who have
stood by me. I dare not tell most people
now that another biopsy is imminent as they
are so scared for what, me or them getting
cancer, I am not sure! I have only respect
and admiration for all the help from some
wonderful people over the last few years.
I know it would have been a lot worse without
them (from the Consultant to Social Sevices,
receptionists, nurses and the cleaners who
had to clean up after me). Not forgetting
my dear friends Eric, Laurie, John and Vickie
& Ric.
I wish you all your wish for the coming
year. It can’t really get as bad as
this year, can it? (God, I am such a cheerful
individual!)
Paul
| 
|
|
