Dear Alan,
I have been a bit of a silent member on this message board, but I have been following everyone's stories and hoping your wife would avoid this diagnosis. I am sure we can all remember being told the news and it is far from easy. I firmly believe the power of prayer pulled me through, so don't lose faith in the coming days and weeks. We will all be thinking of you. You have posted the news on the Survivor Stories thread - let's remain positive that Maggie will have a survivor story of her own to tell. Best wishes.

Dear Alan,
Yes - I have my arms around both of you and never want to let go. Its not everyday you interact with such lovely people without even ever having met. It seems I have known both Maggie and you all my life and I also feel that I too feel the pain you must be going through.
I truly admire you and this is not just out of the hat - you have been an inspiration for me in many a ways and its something I will never ever forget as long as I live.
The entire group of Budhist chanters have started their chanting for Maggie and it just continues for 24 x7, with various groups taking over from one another. My mum is a staunch believer in this form of karma and even though I am not too positive about it - I hope I am wrong and all the chanting will do some good.

My offer still stands - if there is anything and I mean anything I can do to make things more comfortable for Maggie and you, please do not ever hesitate to ask. Families do not ask - its expected.
Lots and lots of love,
Ananth

Dear Alan

I too was thinking about you this morning and thought we hadn’t heard from you in a while and thought I would drop you a line when I got chance this evening. Opened up my mail and oh dear, what we all suspected from your description has proved, beyond anyone’s hopes, to be positive and am l so sorry that this dreadful thing should hit you not once but twice. It just isn’t fair.

I remember the first time I posted on this board when I felt like has fallen down a big black pit and was sinking deeper. You were one of the first replies I received for which I will always be grateful, you gave me hope in your own pragmatic way, you are always there for sound advice and such support and comfort which you give so wisely, you have certainly been a great comfort to me. Whilst I am not as eloquent, as you, I will certainly be here for you.

Please tell Maggie, her problems sounds very much like Bill’s, his stage IV base of tongue cancer was given a 50/50 chance. Surgery would have left him without any quality of life and here we are seven months on after chemo and r/t, I know not completely out of the woods yet but the oncy is confident that the treatment has been successful. We go next week for a CT scan. So she must focus and have hope.

I am not religious so cannot pray for you but I will send out my hopes for you in my own way.


Angie

I am just floored by your bad news all I can do right now is pray for you and the Family to be strong,will pray at Mass tomorrow.

Paul

Hello what fantastic support, I have passed all your best wishes and success stories onto Maggie she is humbled and is coping with the news very well, I am so proud of her.

My sons and their ladies were out last night and that cheered up Maggie no end, we need to get the surgical biopsy done on her tongue asap, and I will not sit on my hand: I note others have had trouble with delays, but both her Chest and ENT Consultants are competent dedicated professionals who will endeavour I am sure to do their level best to help Maggie. Her Emphysema and Circulation problems however are definitely obstacles and the professionals will have to finely balance treatment against side effects.

However you are my strength and comfort, its nice to know you care; thank you from us both.

Alan

How have your sons taken the news ?

Speaking as a daughter of a patient, I can tell you that it is desperate.

Hi Winnie,

My sons are Gavin 33, and Stephen 30 the younger is married the elder has a daughter from a past relationship (4 1/2). We have all been acutely aware of Maggie's ill health and previous disability for a long time and if you could see Maggie you would realise just from looking at her that she was far from well. However no amount of prigging would get Maggie to the GP as she feared admission to hospital and thus she would be unable to do as she pleased.

Only when she could bear the pain no longer and had to call in the GP to the house about 6 weeks ago did she concede that she had difficulty swallowing as well as the swollen neck. The GP treated her for an infection with antibiotics and even then it was not until two weeks later that at her regular chest clinic did her chest consultant listen to her speech and symptoms he ended his own consultation and referred her immediately to the ENT consultant. A 15 minute regular appointment then turned into 4 hours of immediate tests, needle biopsies and scoping.

So in answer to your query Winnie we have been expecting bad news for a long time, but thought that trouble would arise from her heart or lungs or both, not neck or tongue that came out of the blue - but when they did the needle biopsies and MRI scan the writing was pretty much on the wall.

The past is however now forgotten as we look with hope to the future we really want Maggie to survive but to be brutally honest she has first to want to survive: and we shall not know if that is her will until we can study her reaction to the treatment she must face which we all know is not a walk in the park.

I guess men hide their emotions more so than women, I think I am an exception because I have had to face circumstances which made me realise head on that tomorrow was never guaranteed. My sons have not faced their mortality yet and they have seen me pull through from two life threatening illnesses - but they know their mother, so they too are being pragmatic. Maggie's initial postiveness has been for the three of us a welcome if unexpected reaction to the worst diagnosis we could have expected but is giving us hope that Maggie will fight for her life.

The prayers and moral support of so many people from all around the world is a very real driver for Maggie to make that fight a good one.

Thank you all so much for caring, Alan.