HI Folks,

Well my wife had her results this morning after a wait of about 4 weeks. The needle biopsies confirmed the neck tumours are malignant and the MRI scan has shown a significant tumour at the base of her tongue on which they want to do a surgical biopsy under general anaesthetic but must first have a case conference with her Chest Consultant to establish if she is strong enough to take the anaesthetic (only a 15 minute procedure but still a full general. Until the surgical biopsy is done we will not know the type or stage of the tumour whether it is the primary or even the most appropriate treatment options.

Maggie's ENT Surgeon has already ruled out surgery, she is just not strong enough to face the tauma, so radiotherapy (she has the same radiologist I had who recognised me and was surprised to see me today for the first time in 7 years) chemotherapy and ????? We are in Scotland and I know there are drugs available here which are not yet available in England for cases where surgery is not an option.

I have no idea of her chances of survivability given her other problems but will endeavour to make her quality of life as good as she will let me and have pointed her to my own experience in praying it gives her hope. She knows she is not as strong as I was then and has accepted that surgery is not for her an option, but any treatment for this afflication is traumatic and damaging and I know she will suffer more than I did and she will make comparisons which I know will not be positive.

Can you give me confidence for the future guys and girls, I need to be strong but feel so very weak right now. For those with faith I will appreciate your prayers for Maggie and the whole family: I never ask "Why Me?" but we do need all the help we can get and I am not too proud to accept same! Alan

Hi Alan,

I have just read your post. It was quite strange because I was thinking about you and wondering how Maggies results had turned out.

I am feeling for you both and although am not a religious person will say a special prayer of my own for you both.
My friend is a very devout Roman Catholic and all through my illness has prayed to St. Anthony on my behalf. I hope it will give you comfort that I'm going to ask her to light a candle and pray for you at mass.

My love and thoughts are with you both.
SusieR

Thank you Susie,

It is comforting to know that those who know us not will nevertheless intercede on our behalf, please extend my appreciation to your friend.

Your own journey continues but I love the new updated photo and am in awe of your personal strength of character, and pray God's blessing on you and all whom you love. Alan

Dear Alan,
Tomorrow is my open day for my doggie salon and i've been so engrossed in my project that everything else seems to have taken a back seat! But i couldn't let this post pass without offering you a hand to hold.
You've always been a pillar of wise words and support to people on here. & though we don't allhave your faith you make sure that HE doesn't over look us... just in case.
It's bizarre that your poor wife has been struck with a H&N cancer after the battle you faced yourself.
I'm sure you're aware that you have a tough time ahead. Dig inside yourself and prepare. On the days your wife is feeling low and depressed it will be for you to put on your jolly smile and see her through. &on the days when its YOU thats feeling low and depressed it will be for us to help you through.
You're entitled to ask, scream & shout "WHY ME?" But i'm still waiting for an answer. I guess we're just special
The irony of getting these results on All Hallows Eve is almost unbelievable!
We love you and are here for you.
*keeping everything crossed*
Michelle x

Hi Alan
Sorry to hear about your wife at this time all we can do is to offer our support and prayers are with you

There is drugs allowed in scotland that can be used but are not prescribed in England

All our love
Dave and Sue

Dear Alan,
Reading your post has really left me speechless. I would lay any bets that Maggie is also a person on who one can depend and like you has lent her shoulder many a times. I really wish from the very bottom of my heart, there was something I could do and I would gladly do it without thinking twice.
I have never met Maggie or you but you have become an intregal part of my life - a friend who gives me advise, laughs with me and prays not just for me but everyone. I am really feeling miserable just thinking of how devasted and miserable you must be feeling and repeating myself - there is nothing I could do except to pray.I am really feeling helpless which normally I do not.
Whatever the circumstances, do make her life as happy as ever. Do not refuse her anything and keep telling her how much you love her.

Though I am not excatly an atheist but I have never believed in splitting up various religions and I only pray to the almighty power. I will pray and also ask my mum who chants everyday with a group of about 50 people for those who undergoing so much misery and stress as you must be going through right now. I understand the chanting - an old buddhist chant is very powerful but one has to believe in it and the more who get together and chant the vibes get stronger then ever.

Once again, Alan - if I could , I truly would have done anything and I mean anything to see both of you happy. Do keep strong as Maggie needs you so much at this moment.

Take care and love you both,
Ananth

Hello Alan,

Unbelievable news. Robert too had base of tongue cancer. He also didn't have surgery but was given chemo and radiotherapy. Thankfully all turned out OK and I'm really hoping that things will go well for Maggie also. Robert seemed to have the whole of Scotland praying for him (I'm sure that included you) so we'll set them the same task again for Maggie (well it worked last time).

It goes without saying Alan that we are all here for you.

God bless

Lorraine

My Friends

Thank you for your thoughts, care, and concern love you all to bits. Chelle a milestone for you tomorrow, I am rooting for you but know without thinking that your venture will be a success because you will make it a success.

Ananth my old chum I feel your arms around me and Maggie I will be proud if your Mum thinks of us in her chants. My long departed Grandad who gave me and Maggie a Bible when we first proclaimed our Faith did that believing in an Almighty but said to me withoput apology that having studied many religions and professing none had he made his own Faith public then of all religions he would have chosen Buddism.

David and Sue so glad you are making it back to normality and though I have not said it out loud I was so pleased to hear of your promotion David like Chelle's Phonenix an omen and vote of confidence from the entity that cares for everything in his Creation.

And Lorraine my dear Lorraine I am about to go down stairs and tell Maggie of Robert's story. I know my good lady well, we celebrate our 35th wedding anniversary on Sunday and she could not cope with the terrors we speak of openly on these boards and what she does not know will not harm her but positive results will give much needed hope. I fear Maggie has left it too late to seek treatment, it is many months since she first had neck symptoms but comparatively recently that her swallowing and tongue became an issue, still she is pragmatic and I will love and cherish her and let her know the best wishes and prayers of everyone here.

Will keep you all posted over time, thanks for being there and thanks for caring all of you.

Alan

Dear Alan, I am so sorry to read that Maggies results are positive. I was hoping against hope you would have received good news, but from your description of her symtoms, I feared the worst, as I felt you did too.
Well the worst has happened, & its now time for us to "gird up our loins"& do all we can to support you & Maggie.
You know her better than us,but she may surprise you with her mental strength as she copes with her diagnosis & treatment.
Please dont despair at the length of time it took Maggie to acknowledge her symptoms, it took Brian 4-5mths before he took his neck lump seriously. He is now at 3yrs post treatment & improving all the time
I know you have great faith which will sustain you. I will pray to St Jude & St Rita on your behalf.Hope you have lots of help around you.
Love to you both, Fran.

Dear Alan

So sorry to hear your news. You, Maggie and the family are in my prayers and will remain so. God Bless you

Mum
x

Dear Alan
In my short time as a member here I have been deeply touched by the genuine community and family caring spirit that exists within this forum. In particular I was extremely grateful for your words of advice and concern, especially in the knowledge that you were then awaiting your wife's results and yet took the time to respond to me.

I am not a religious person, but after I read your sad news I visited the church across the road (for the first time) and lit a candle for you and Maggie.

I don't know about the power of prayer, but I do believe in the power of love and I am sure that the love that you and Maggie share will help you through the difficult times ahead, and no matter what happens that love will never die.

Thinking of you both,
Sara

hi alan
so sorry to hear your devastating news about your wife maggie we all know on here how you feel when the dreaded diagnosis is given. your world is totally turned upside down but alan you have always been so positive and caring to all of us and we have gained strengh from that it is now your turn for lots of support during this difficult time love bevx

Dear Alan
I hadn't realised how I was holding my breath waiting for your news and now it's come, all has drained from me. You poor, poor things. This result, even though it did sound inevitable is shitty in the extreme and definitely not fair.
You have been through so much yourself and coped but seeing Maggie go though the same thing will bring it all back on another level. You will also learn her experience as you see your love suffer. It cannot possibly be as bad as having the affliction yourself, I know, but it is heart renching to watch and feel so helpless.
Love is all around you Alan and I know you will take heart from that. I am not one to pray but I/we accepted everyone's offers of prayer as being their way of sending love and kind, positive thoughts our way. That is what we will be doing for you and yours. We all know it is a rough road and with no guarantees either way of the outcome. Making the most of every day and saying everything you ever wanted to say is the way to go.
All of our love, Alan. Keep us posted.
Deborah and Trevor
xo

Hi Alan!
One always wonders what it is that we have done wrong to be given yet another trial, and we think of all the other folks who go through life in total bliss, but I always think that we have been given this life as a trial and must do what destiny sets for us(God does this sound like a sermon, I hope not)so the only thing to do is to go ahead and live life to the full, my son had the dreaded C and survived and now goes through life one day at a time and is very happy with what has been dished up for him.
All you can do now is to keep looking forward and look after your lovelly Lady as I am sure Maggie looked after you during you C time and Know that you have an enormous number of friends all over the world that are thinging of you and Maggie during this time.
Stay Strong
Trev

Alan,
I would just like to add my words of support for you and Maggie at this truly horrible news.

My mum is convinced that God and the power of prayer has seen her through her surgery and treatment so far, relatively pain free which, if not a cure (who knows) is certainly a comfort for her.

It's a doubly harsh blow in your case though, love, and all I can say is that you are in my thoughts.

God bless.