I am. :wow: I have fought this disease three times and so far, I am surviving. I have always said that I may not win this fight, but it will sure as hell know it has been in one. I have given """C""" a run for the money. I have fought laying, standing, sitting, crying, laughing, joking and sleeping. I am all over this thing. I pray to God that it doesn't get all over me. So far so good. I have been free for 10 years once, it is coming back sooner now. And the treatments are getting worse than they once were. But I am still here. For how long, who knows, I pray that it will be a long time for me. You can't dwell on that tho, you must live for all you got today. Make this day the best day. Do something that you haven't done today. It could be big or small, but do it. I am not anyone famous or rich to you, but to my friends and family, I am. I am the Queen in my family. I am the Princess in my family. I am the actress in my family, for I put on a smile when there is not one there. I act as tho all is allright when I hurt so bad I want to cry, I am a wonderful actress, trust me. I have become very good at it too. I can also be the drama queen, lol,. Play that part alone, most of the time, you know all about that, right,? I am a lot of things, a wife, a moma, a grandma, a sister, a daughter, an aunt, a friend, a woman, and I am a CANCER SURVIVOR. I will continue to fight until my last breath. I pray that day is a long time away from now. Until then I will fight. Always, Vicki Lynn

Vicki, I do not know how you cope mate???
I fear it will come back in ten years then I will only be 55 and then you say it comes back quicker.
I am really really stuck what to say to you mate :banghead:
and I have the cheek to feel sorry for myself sometime !!

I too pray alot and go to Mass most days just in case someoene IS listening.
Paul

Well mine came back the first time it took 10 years, then the next time it was 4 years, but that was me.This does not mean this will happen to you, just keep a close watch on the mouth area. That's what I did, however this last time there was no way I could have seen it. Paul, everyone is different as well as cancer. It affects people all differently. So just because mine liked me so much doesn't mean yours will do the same..I pray that it won't. Hey I was only 42 the second time. I pray I make it to 50, I will have one hell of a birthday party..Then again to have survived this cancer for 15 years, WOW, that is already something to celebrate, and I do, everyday, I do something for me. WHY, because I am worth it..Always, Vicki Lynn

Pauline, when I was told I would need Radiotherapy treatment (Only 20), a mere trite compared to what most of you have been through. I came across your diaries, It really was a godsend to me. Everything you described, I experienced right down to a �T�. It made me feel as though I was not alone in what I was going through and I thank you for that.

Like you and Vicki Lynn I have never taken the joys of life for granted, and have always braved the storm when bad tidings hit. Just like cancer. I genuinely believe, that if you have the determination to� and the will you can conquer. I know that is relatively easy for me to say when you compare me to the awful battle Vicki Lynn and many other have to endure, but like all of you, at one point I did not know which way my life was going

I remember once my daughter looking at me, this was when I had lost almost three stones. (Luckily I had the foresight to stuff my face with everything fattening before treatment), so I had actually put on weight, before starting to take it off. Anyway, my daughter begged me to go to bed, I could sense that she was thinking my Mums not going to last. I looked at her shiny huge brown eyes and said: �You know Nikki I know I have to die sometime � but it certainly will not be because of cancer�. I truly believe that.
I have not been to hell and back just to quit!!

For the first time in over two years I have hit that Golf Course, completing 18 holes � �Nae problem.� Almost hit a toad � thought they were disgusting creatures, but said to myself your not such a bad creature after all.

Yesterday was a good day, as was today. Tomorrow is another day.

Take Care

Rosemary

Good for you Rosemary, what a wonderful story, thank you for sharing. A day is better than no day at all. And a day without pain is great. And to get to golf, HEAVEN. So proud for you, ALways, Vicki

Its my pleasure Vicki and thank you. As Paul quite rightly says: �Your One Kewl Lady�.

Take Care
Rosemary

Hey Rosemary--watch what you're doing on that golf course. That brown toad you nearly missed, thank goodness, could have been your guardian angel; and then as retribution (if you believe in reioncarnation) you would have been a toad in your next life being hit at by big Scotswomen armed with bludgeons. What goes round comes round as Mr Toad would have croaked. Ishbel

Ishbel, very very funny��� less of the big. Tall and elegant more like. Anyway, in retrospect, I should have just hit the toad then I could have had �A toad in the hole�. Ready made evening meal.

Cheers

Rosemary

p.s. No disrespect meant to all toad lovers��

Touche (tooshay) Rosemary. No acutes in this computer. Sadly I would have croaked or at very least choked on the batter.
That used to be one of my favourites. All gooey and spicy and crisp on top.
Fond memories as I sip my fourth Ensure...but I managed some mashed up salmon with a nice sauce of skinned courgettes (grown by me for the first time from seed. Very proud of that!) and creme fraiche and smoked garlic. And didn't need my coughing-into bag once.
Regards Ishbel

Hi Rosemary god am I envious of you golfing was my life long passion not now though, I havn't given up hope.
Maurice

Hello Maurice

Really good to read your postings again. I know you must be thinking you will not be on the golf course for a wee while yet, but you WILL, its amazing how quickly time goes in. I cannot believe it is 18 months since I completed my Radiotherapy.

I�m going for a golf lesson tomorrow, lost a lot of confidence since I last played, but I�m sure it will come back. I�m quickly going to point out before a certain person makes a comment (Just between you and me Maurice its Ishbel� shsh....) I do know the difference between a toad and a golf ball,

You take care.

Kind thoughts
Rosemary

Hi Rosemary so your having lessons eh you must be taking this golf thing to seriously . You know we are not suppoed to be good at it. It's the walk and the fun we go for . I my self like the scenic route i.e. left right left right, whilst my brother-in-law prefers the where did that go .

Nice to hear from you Maurice. Hope you soon can meander back to your golf. That's the beauty of the game. Doing it at your own pace, especially during the week.
I can't play myself but my late mother did a hole in one on Nairn golf course when she was a young teacher and gave the whole school (it was a one-teacher school) the day off.
That would be a Parliamentary question today!!
Anyway while you're waiting to feel fit enough I am sure Rosemary will sell you a downloaded video.
Just joking. I worked for DC Thomson in Bank Street when I was a youngster so you owe me one!!
Ishbel

For goodness sake I mean a golf video. Have just realised that could be misconstrued!! Ishbel

Ishebel Downloading vidoes