The Story So Far or There and Back Again
( did I just steal those titles from somewhere?

I cannot remember dates so this will be an old persons ramble through the last eight years.


About eight years ago, I sat in the clinic with Consultant, Baby Doc and Nursey.

I had gone there to hear the result of the biopsy performed the week before. I had been sent to the clinic by my dentist, although a GP had already told me that the thing was nothing! The biopsy was performed by a good looking young technician with whom I carried on a typical wide open mouthed conversation. You know the sort of thing 'Ugh ugh gar gar schlump!' Why do they always speak just as you cannot answer? And why do they use such long lengths of thread to make the stitches? If I used that much cotton when sewing on a button, it would tangle and end up in a knot!

Anyway, back to the clinic. The Consultant told me that the biopsy had shown a malignant cancer, which was a surprise to us all. He then turned and in a very conversational manner asked 'What have you been putting in your mouth'. I collapsed laughing, so did Nursey but Baby Doc looked quite shocked. Probably a little medics joke but it broke the tension. I was operated on just a few days later when they removed a section of my tongue. There followed a period of drinking chicken soup through a straw, graduating to ice cream and then mince and mashed potato.

I attended all the follow up clinics until it became an annual event. The waiting room was like a club room. Lots of smiling people, all sharing the same problem. We shared the waiting room with patients for the audiology clinic. So you had half the patients unable to hear what the other half were whispering! Newcomers did look apprehensive but soon settled down in the relaxed atmosphere. Then late last year the little devil came back. Another biopsy, this time performed by a nice young lady assisted by a nurse and a discussion about choosing cushions ..... still long thread though.

Off I went to the theatre again, surgery plus a treatment I cannot remember the name of. Followed by diet of chicken soup through a straw. This time I did not heal. Doc's exclamation of 'God it looks like a war zone in there!' did nothing to help.
So I had another operation to tidy up the earlier one. This entailed, cutting lesions, re-shaping my tongue and yanking one of my teeth.. I hope that it is all right this time because I haven't got much tongue left for them to take and I have had enough chicken soup, thank you very much! I moved on to potato and leek soup and home made broth but I yearn for a steak! Sea salt and black pepper crisps but a figment of my imagination .... or are they?

That was nearly 3 months ago and now I have started speech therapy, which could go on for months.
My aim now is to say Sixty Six in the manner of Janet Suzman!

My main aim has been to preserve my insanity and learn to accept help as it is offered.

Hi Waspy

As a fellow sufferer, your funny account has brought a smile to my face. You may have lost part of your tongue, but you still have a great sense of humour. Good for you.

All the best
Wendy

Hi Waspy

Yes, a story well told. Despite going through it twice, you're obviously in good fighting spirit with a strong sense of humour. I reckon that counts for a lot!

Dave

Hi Waspy

Thanks for sharing your story. Good luck with the eating and Speech Therapy. And keep smiling (as you obviously are doing).

All best wishes

Gwyn

15th October 2009 Latest Update

I thank you you for your kind remarks. I have been to the clinic this week and they are very pleased with my progress. I do not have to return to them for 8 weeks. In between, I shall continue with Voice/speech therapy and hope to impress them even more next time.

Did I tell you about my showing off? I had 2 Consultants, a nurse and a speech therapist trying to say 'Three Thick Thistle Sticks'. Not easy but I had been practicing!

Now, they came back with - Anesthetist and Mississippi ..... (oh, yes! Very useful words I must say!)

Rambling on to the next stage! Waspy xx

Hi waspy,I have two things happen to me I lost part of my toungue to radiotherapy.everytime without fail.
I go in a coffee shop and ask for "Coffee please" the reply comes you would like soup eer no you would like tea err no oh coffee yes I declare.
I go to gym and have my card and money ready and say "Gym session please" you want a swim eeerr nope you want sauna eeerr nope oh gym oh yes.
Hapens evertime without fail.
I just love the ones that also find the need to shout at me im old but NOT deaf too

Paul

Oh Paul, that is so familiar. My husband is hard of hearing so things get a little confused around here sometimes.

I also hate the looks of disappointment on faces when I start to speak. I think I will cultivate the enigmatic, mysterious look! Worked for Greta Garbo!

Dear Waspy,

Your sense of humour will keep you (and us with you) in sanity and lead you to perect health... You have made me laugh for 10 minutes!
I had the same experience as you did. I am sepaking with efforts (it is all right, though: I used to speak very quickly when I had a full tongue, so now I am paying more attention to what I say). Anyhow, there´s still a long way to go to be completely intellegible.
These days I have learnt to appply a more seductive make up to my eyes and to use them to convey silent messages whenever I can avoid speaking.
Here´s to mysterious looking women!

Dear Shoshana

I am now reading Spike Milligan's nonsense poems aloud. Maveric is my favourite. It starts:

Maveric Prowels
Had rumbling Bowles .....

and goes on, hard to read to the end without laughing!

Here is my latest update on speech therapy.

The exercises are monotonous and at first not obviously helpful. Progress seems slow but it is there. If anybody has the chance, I can recommend speech therapy. Do the exercises, read aloud and it will come.

I hope to upload before and after recordings to U-tube, but I have lost the link, if anyone has it, I would be very grateful.

Now say after me:

The Lion by Spike Milligan

If you're attacked by a Lion
Find fresh underpants to try on
Lay on the ground quite still
Pretend you are very ill
Keep like that day after day
Perhaps the Lion will go away

Sorry, I have broken my specs, I am not sure which planet I am on at the moment!

I have had a good week. I now have new specs, have had my last session with the speech therapist, she has pronounced me officially normal Still have to exercise but can gradually tail off.

So a good week apart from computer problems storms and power cuts and a mail strike that allows bills to arrive!

Waspy,

I'm still waiting for your youtube video(s). The Spike Milligan exercise should be fantastic and I wouldn't mind hearing a little Winnie the Pooh.

Mimi