Hi Guys
Thought I'd write the main story down if only to remember how far we've come. My husband Paul was first diagnosed with throat cancer in June 2003. He had 5 weeks radiotherapy, which left him with a very burnt neck and basically unable to eat. In Feb. this year he was back in hospital with malnutrition & had a peg tube fitted.In April he was back in with pneumonia, and they found another tumour in his throat. In June he caught legionnaires disease from the hospital, and was taken to intensive care, where he was given 24 hours to live.He was in intensive care for another 4 weeks, and 2 doctors told me{ actually one of them growled at me!] that there was no way he would ever leave intensive care and we should turn the life support machines off. They said that he needed a laryngectomy but he would not survive the surgery, as he was now down to 8 stones-he's 6foot and used to weigh 14 stone. I managed to persuade the consultant to operate,during the operation they found 2 tumours in his throat & one on his tongue, they did a total laryngectomy & rebuilt part of his tongue with chest muscle, and after 5 days he was back on the ward! Spent all July & most of August in hospital, during which time my mother died, finally came out on 20th August. They've now found another tumour on his tongue, & we are waiting to see what they can do, options seem to be limited this time.think it will be chemo to try & shrink it and keep it at bay for as long as possible. He has massive problems with his teeth, constant dribbling and runny nose, but otherwise he copes ok. Communicates by writing, still on the peg feed but we manage.We are determined to fight this as long as we can.We've lost friends and made new ones, he also gets treated as if he is deaf, and when he writes something some people try to reply in the same way which he finds very annoying, but some people have been wonderful. Good luck to all of you who are fighting this awful illness.

Jennie, Thank you so much for feeling all of us in on what you and Paul have been thru. This is just awful to read much less live it. Paul has been thru so much in such a short amount of time. You know one would think that the body would just say,,ah wait a minute,,I din't know anything about all this. I am tired. But it seems like no matter what we are thrown our bodies hang right in there....They are so strong. Well mine is...Jennie you are doing great with all of this. I am so so glad that you found us. Because no one should go thru this alone. I mean no one. I did fo 14 years..Then I found this site. WOW talk about take a load off. It did..Don't be a stranger either. I know you have your hand full, try to come on and let us hear from you. Tell Paul I know about the "DEAF" thing. The 9 months I couldn't talk that is what everyone did to me. My husband even did it a few times--LOL--when I would wad the paper up and throw it in the trash--RIC would say -there you go talking trash again....LOL. If nothing else he always makes me laugh...LOL...I would just write down --I can hear--I just can't talk..People would say oh I am sorry I didn't know. You can't fault them they have no idea what in the world is wrong with us....I wouldn't have known if it hadn't of happened to me..That is the truth. SO sometimes you have to coach or teach others about this..Always Vicki Lynn

Hello, I know that we are always mindful of the terrible pain; we have true sympathy here on these pages; as we all have had a true insight to what it is like on the receiving end; we are all with you. Garance

Jennie how are things going?? I have been thinking about you and Paul and just wanted to say hello to you and Pray that all is going well....Always Vicki Lynn

Hi Vicki
Hope you are doing well, not been on very often lately, just too tired when I get home from work!Paul has started chemo, don't seem to be too many side effects so far, he's just really tired, he always tries to do too much & then sort of collapses for 12 hours. The weather is horrible here, wet & cold, looking forward to Spring & better days. Paul is still fighting, still optimistic. My grandma was given 6 months to live when she was 40 [ she had cancer of the spine} and she died aged 92!, so so much for doctors. Sorry I'm tending to ramble at the moment, lack of sleep. Paul is 50 next Tuesday {25th}, we're trying to organise a party for mid Feb when hopefully he will be a bit stronger, can't have the host falling asleep halfway through!
Take care, speak to you soon
Jennie

Jennifer, may I suggest something to you. Please please please do not put off his birthday. This was the cery special day that this man was born. Not in Feb. when he is stronger. If you don't normally have a party then don't have one now. I have found thru my own ordeals that I didn't like it when people did things for me that they never had done before. Made me feel uneasy. I don't like pity most people don't. If it is usually just you and the family then make it just that. I know that Ric does something for me every year sick or not. In the hospital or out. I would like to suggest to you that you do the same. He knows when his birthday is,,,U MAKE IT THE BEST DAY EVER FOR HIM.......Just a suggestion......If I have over stepped my bounds- I appologize. I just never did care for a birthday tomorrow when TODAY is my birthday...But then this is me....Let Paul know that we will be signing to him on that day..As for you I wish I could come over and give you a break. I pray for you every day afternoon and night. For you have to be so worn out. GOD BLESS YOU. I am thinking about you, Please know this...Always Vicki Lynn

Hi Vicky
Good advice as always,thank you.It's actually been fortunate that we didn't arrange the party for his birthday cos he's back in hospital & I think he will still be there on Tuesday, so will try to arrange relays of family & friends throughout the day. The party was going to be more of a fund raising exercise, he's been involved with several charities over the years & he wanted to have a get together for all the people involved, his birthday was just a way of doing it. Speak to you soon
love Jennie

Hello Jennie, How is everything going? Haven't heard from you in a while it seems. How is Paul doing? How is your daughter. I emailed her once but she has not replied. Hoping all is okay, always Vicki Lynn

Hi Vicky
Sorry not been on for a few days, Paul has hit a massive depression, hasn't been out of bed for a week. He's gone into the local hospice for a couple of weeks to try to lift his mood, maybe the change will help, at the moment he's either sleeping or staring at the ceiling.No idea what has brought it on,he'd been feeling quite well. Caroline did send you a reply, must have got lost in cyber space, she was delighted that you had e-mailed her. Hope you are keeping ok, and looking forward to Paul's visit, hope you both have a great time together
Jennie