Hello, I hope you don't mind me intruding on your forum, but I wonder if anyone can help me.
I am a journalist writing for womens magazines in the UK. I am looking for a British woman to take part in a feature I am writing.
The angle of the feature is 'getting sick was the best thing that happened to me.'
I want to show readers who fear illness such as cancers, heart disease, that not only can you survive but they can actually have a positive effect on your life.
I would love to hear from anyone who has a bit of a story to tell about how they coped after their illness and if it brought out something positive in their life.
perhaps their relationship with their partner was going downhill, but the illness brought them back together again?
perhaps they weren't able to do the job they loved anymore, but they found an even better one?
just any interesting emotional story about why cancer had a positive effect on your life.
if you feel you have a story, and you would like to share it, I would love to hear from you.
you would need to be named and pictured, but you would be paid for your story.
unfortunately as it's a british womens magazine we only feature stories about british women.
but if there is anyone out there who would like to get in touch, or learn more, please email me at; annawharton77@yahoo.co.uk

thank you for your time.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Dr Vinod K Joshi,

I cannot believe what I have just read. "how getting sick was the best thing that ever happened to me" is this for real? I don't think any of us would ever say that getting CANCER was the best thing that ever happened to ANYONE! CANCER isn't GETTING SICK! You should have done some homework ( READING) on this forum before you posted this ANNA! Are you SERIOUS? How has this helped our love life or our career's! Anna most of us were or are forced to retire. There is no more CAREER for us left. We are on either Government assitance or Social Security. Love Life, it is not the top thing on most of our list. We are to busy feeling sick, tired, exhausted, worn out. Or emotionally a wreck, scared, crying, praying, wishing, hoping or dealing with the side effects of all the treatment we just had done. Most of cannot eat, talk, move around without difficulty. We are hooked up to feeding tubes and trache's in our necks. We cannot feel our lips, we have no tongues left, no feeling in the neck so love life, you figure that one out. Some of us only have months to live though we all never know from one day to the next when our number will be called. How dare you come on this site and ask such a SHALLOW question. I wish I knew which woman's magazine you wrote for, I would love to talk to your editor. We are all fighters. We are all praying that we can make it another year. You make it sound like we have a broken arm or a common cold. This is a serious illness, there is no time or place for people like you on this site. People that do not take the time to even read about the disease how sick we are and how hard we all are trying to hold each others hand to make it thru one more day. How you ever became a writer is beyond me. I am not British but if I was---I would still think this was SHALLOW. I guess this is doing what ever you can or have to write a story. This is one story that I would never read. You story should be about " CANCER, A INSIDE LOOK." Or " CANCER, THE UNTOLD STORY." I am appauled! Vicki Lynn Woods

Anna, I am amazed what you have just wrote.
Do you think getting Cancer makes us a better person?
The best think that ever happened to me???
I am male but it is the same for all of us wondering what going to be the problem tommorow
Will I have another day
Will I be able to get out today
I just CANNOT belive what you wrote please do the sensible thing and delete
This message will be VERY VERY upseting to many on RDOC
PLEASE next time try at least to get some insight into Mouth & Neck Cancer before writng such common trash.
I will talk about the good things
No money to surive, being stared at in the street,constant pain ,confidence literally nil the list goes on
READ the "my Stories" THEN ask that stupid question

yours VERY ANGRY
Paul

Thank you Paul I knew that I would ot be the only person on the site that was upset at reading that posting. I am still in total dismay about it. I would love to know what mag she is a writer for, I would make DAMM sure that her editor got a copy of this. Vicki Lynn

Wow - it has been a good while since I saw anything so crass.
Anna, you should go and talk to people sat in oncology departments waiting for radiotherapy/chemotherapy or hospital wards and talk to people who have just had neck sections and mandible swing ops(do you even know what these are?) It is a shame you didn't before you posted on this forum - you may then have realised how hurtful such an idea (that getting cancer could be a positive experience) could be.
I am a tough fit outgoing rugby playing P.E. Teacher and this disease terrifies me. I have had radical surgery (neck section, mandible swing, part of my tongue removed and replaced with a radial forearm flap) and have had 28 of 32 radiotherapy treatments. At present my mouth, tongue and throat are badly ulcerated and I am finding speaking very difficult and eating almost impossible. A positive experience? Are you for real? My children (18 and 21) are devastated by the effect it is having on me - they lost their mother in a car accident 5 years ago and now the think they are losing me. A positive experience? Are you for real? I believe I will recover and return to a pretty normal life BUT I will have to live with having cancer - I hope I will survive for many years to come but I will have to do so worrying that this will come back again. A positive experience? Are you for real? This is the worst most negative thing that has happened to me along with the death of my beautiful wife. Frankly, I find it sick that you could even think such a thing never mind actually post it on a forum such as this.

i'm very sorry to have offended anyone on this site. it was never my intention.
please accept my apologies
anna

Hello Anna

I am sure any offence was unintentional. Most non-sufferers have little idea of what this cancer does. There is a need for a better understanding of the anguish and difficulties that mouth cancers cause, and the views expressed here are the reality. This needs publicity. Perhaps it might be possible to write an article from that angle.

Your apology is accepted, and I hope that you will stay and become a friend of ours.

Best wishes
Vinod

Anna, I think you have seen too many slushy american movies, where the woman lies drapped on a chaise longue surrounded by well meaning friends. Head and neck cancer, Hello, you cannot swallow, half your tongue has been cut away, think of medieval torture, you may have to live with a tube for ever, as a woman your face looks as though you have had a stroke, people cannot understand you when you talk; you have no saliva, every tooth in your head is screaming at you, you are deaf and in great pain in your earand head, you live with high pitched noises; the pain is so horrendous when they take out your molars after two operations, you prey to GOD to die as you can no longer endure the pain; I read an article in woman's magazine, about a little girl around 2 yrs old, she missed out on saying what pain that baby must have gone through. Remember COMFORT EATING DOES NOT EXIST FOR THE LIKES OF US.

I agree with garance and Vicky on this. I'm on Baby food and
mashed potatoes. Had my mouth cancer in 1989, it seems to be
with me forever. Now I have Raynauds. Cancer is not fun or
wonderful.
Cathy