Hi Shirley Ann, sorry to hear that things are rough at the moment. Like everyone else, I hope things improve. I look in on your postings even if I dont write often. Hagg.

Mum, bless her, was diagnosed with mouth cancer 2 and half years ago. She under went surgery, and came through it. Mum is very a very nervous person. She can't even bring herself to get on a bus to come and meet me in town for lunch!. We've had 'clear' results over the past 2 years, and then suddenly, last week, the blumin things returned. Shock is an understatement to say the least. Dad isn't in good health, bless him, and is coping exceptionally well. They are both just turned 70 and celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. Mum goes for a CT scan tomorrow, and next week we get the results of the scan, telling us wot, if anything can be done. Her consultant tells us he can't say whether surgery is an option or not. The wait is hell.

Hi Picky

I am so sorry to read that your mom has had a relapse. Cancer is one of those things that isn't easier the second time around. I hope her scan goes well.

Julia

Hi,

Really sorry to hear about your Mum. Good that scan being done quickly so you can find out where things stand.

Take care

Ken

That dreaded word recurrance hits you even harder than the first time.i wish you luck with the scan results

Hi Picky,

So sorry to hear about your mum's recurrence. Something we all dread. I hope she still has options available to her and that her scan is negative. Good luck and please keep us posted.

Warmest Regards,
Pamela

Hi Picky, so sorry to hear the news about your mum.Its such a horrible disease this I can't quite get my hear around it at all.

I have just been given the all clear after 2 years and was so blissfully happy but when you hear so may people saying it has re occurred it really does frighten me so much.

I hope the scans go well and I will be really thinking of you all.

Love and best wishes Sammy x

Hi everyone,
My mum eventually had her peg tube re-inserted on tuesday after rushing her in on early hours of sat night, the whole tube fell out in the end.

They had to starve her again, before and after re-inserting the tube. It is a different one this time, apparently the other one was faulty. We thought it was our fault with feeding, because we didnt have much training.

Dad was confused again, another week without mum we all cared for him again. He was very agitated in my house, wanted to go home and started to walk home, which proves he would wander off. It is very hard having to tell your dad off and force him to do something he doesnt want to do.

Mum is home now, came home thursday afternoon, she is very positive about the operation which is now on 29th June not 30th June. just been up to see her and helped give her feed.

Picky - so sorry to hear about your mum, hope she will be ok and results will be good. This is always a fear going through operation, there are no guarantees it wont return, which is so scary.

Shirley

Hello Shirley
Glad to hear your Mum is able to remain positive among the turmoil!
I hope you're able to find a suitable solution that will keep your Dad settled in the weeks to come. My brother in law has dementia and I know how challenging it can be for carers if their routine is disrupted. Good luck with that one.
Make the most of the next couple of weeks and best wishes to your Mum. I hope the PEG (now it's fixed!) enables her to build up her strength.
Thinking of you from Down Under
Deborah

Hello Picky
I'm really sorry your Mum has had a setback but want you to know you really have found a fantastic support system with the forum.
My biggest concern for you at this point is that you are in the wrong spot so you'll get lost. You need to get a thread going in 'general chat' and/or 'introduce yourself'
All the best
Deborah

Hi Everyone

Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who responded to my post. Its so encouraging to see everyone giving me support at this difficult time. I wish you ALL the very best.

Thursday is the big day for us, as we go back to the consultant to get the verdict! Thats what it feels like.. guilty or not.. Its even more sad as its my sons birthday, so how are you expected to celebrate with this hanging over you.. I don't know. I need to be strong for mum and dad, but I want to celebrate my sons birthday.. dilema.. shoote... Anyway.. I will keep you all posted, hopefully with good news.

Thanks again to everyone

Hi Picky

That certainly is a dilemma. How old is your son? Does he know what's going on with his grandma? If he was willing to wait, you could celebrate his birthday on Saturday instead.

It's been said that G-d never gives us more than we can handle. Does He think some of these folks are Superman?

Julia

Hi everyone,

Well we had a terrible weekend again, mum just settled back home, still very drowsy with medication. Sunday morning, the ambulance was called she had a fall and grazed all her arm,think it was done during the night or after I left on saturday. Another visit to hospital, but after having her arm seen to and dressed, she came home.

I went to see her on sunday night and lo and behold, going upstairs to the bathroom, with me behind her helping her, she fell again, twice in one day ambulance called must be a record. After assessing her, checking her arm and hip they said she didnt have to go to hospital. She is very weak, and has a fear of the top step of the stairs, which is where she falls.

Yesterday, went to memory clinic with dad for his 3 month check up, his memory going worse, nurse advised us to arrange respite for when mum having her operation. That went down like a ton of bricks, I'm so worried no care arranged for him and mum has her operation on 29th June about 11 days away.

Going on friday to consultant when he will tell mum the details of the operation and tell of risk factor.

Picky - my heart and thoughts are with you for tomorrow, hope all goes well.

Shirley

Hi Picky,

I sympathasise with dilemna for your sons birthday. I have the same situation, my birthday and pearl wedding is 30 June just after my mum has her operation, the operation was meant to be on my birthday. We dont feel like celebrating but my husband wants to take me out for a meal. I hope you have had good results of the scan for your mum. I am very worried about my mums operation, and after reading your posts, obviously worried in case it re-occurs, but I have to put that out of my mind and concentrate on getting my mum well.

Went to the consultant yesterday for final preparations for the impending operation and details of what to expect after. Was actually quite shocked how much of her tongue he is going to remove, it is about three quarter tumour, really frightening. She will take quite a while learning to talk again, and the shock we had was, he doesnt think she will ever eat again or drink. I hope mum proves them wrong as she is very determined. I was very upset over this.

Im off work next week, so going to spend as much time as possible with my lovely mum, helping prepare her for this massive ordeal.

We have the job of also preparing dad for the forthcoming weeks without his precious "missus" or "gaffer" as he calls her. He looked so worried yesterday hearing what the operation entails. We are going to look after him between us myself and sister, none of us want him to go in a home, he would feel totally abandononed by both his wife and daughters, in his little foggy mind, bless him. My sister is prepared to have him in her house, with help from me, as her husband doesnt work due to a back injury. Between us, we will manage.

Thanks for listening.
Shirley

Hi Shirley

First of all, dare I say, Happy Anniversary for the 30th to you both. Keep in there, honestly. My mum is a very nervous person, and when she had her op, I didn't think she'd cope, but she did, she was amazing. Her inner being shone through. I see this as a set back, and yes, after the last few weeks wondered if she can cope, but I think she will. Your mum, like mine, seems to have the love and support from us, which I believe helps them through. Mum got some good news last week. The cancer hasn't spread (thank god, my worst fear), but they can't operate this time. She's decided to accept that she's to go thru radio & cemotherapy (excuse the spelling). We've got a long haul between us, but, we are together on this, as you are.

My son had a lovely birthday (he's 25), and he actually proposed to his girlfriend on his birthday, so a quite an eventful day in the end. As long as he is happy, I wish the best for them both.

Anyway, take care, and thinking of you at this time.