Hi am not a cancer patient but am in love with someone who had it and I feel I should understand and know how to be of support to him. he had cancer of the throat 2002 and it reoccured after sometime and had it removed. His been clear since then. I know that one day it would be back and it freigthens me a lot. Id like to understand and know how to go about making things easier for him should this happen. Thank you

Good Morning CLM61,
I don't know how things work in your part of the world,in the UK we have an organisation called Macmillan Cancer Care who exist to help cancer patients and carers, perhaps you have a similar organisation or it could be that Macmillan operate world wide. This web site is a fountain of help and advice, we are all dedicated to helping other patients and carers.
I think you are taking a pessimistic view in assuming that the cancer will occur again,of course it might, but there is no certainty in this happening.The rate of tumours re appearing is about 20% I hope your partner is in the 80%group.
The very word,cancer, tends to stike fear into the hearts of most people but we must be realistic about this, it is a fact of life that one person in three will experience some form of cancer at some point in life; usually as we get older.We should not regard this as a sword of Damocles, we have to get on with life and enjoy every moment of it.
Explore this web site you will find lots of helpfull information, if you want to ask questions go ahead ,someone will have an answer for you.
Keep Smiling
John

Hi CLM61

I think John has hit the nail on the head! I DO live in your part of the world and I have been successfully treated by the team of doctors here in Singapore and (particularly in my case) I will continue to sing their praises.

From being diagnosed to being declared cancer free took 9 months of treatment. Of course I still have to see them regularly and that will probably always be the case - but I'm not expecting a recurrence and even if it should, I'm in excellent hands here.

For the rest, I'm happy to be able to get on with my life. If I went around thinking "what if?" all the time I'd have a miserable life! I try to worry about something only when it's actual and otherwise try to find something more interesting to focus on.

Think positive!

Cheers - Pete

Hello Mr John, thank you very much for your information I understand what your saying but you see were both halfway thru our lives and hopefully will both managed to be togather without any hassels when we decide to settle down. Its just a thougth that comes and go in my mind.. I dont want to live life alone again thats why it worries me at times.....

Hello Mr. Phinsing...yes I do agree with what you and Mr. John has said.no arguements about thinking positive however when one gets a secnd chance to be happy again with someone one becomes more sensitive about life.. We see more deeply the second time around...my partner always see life in a very positive way which really amazes me.. such a nice man he is......

Dear CLM61

As long as your partner is happy with his condition, then you have nothing to worry about. I'm sure that he appreciates your support and caring and I hope you both continue to live a long and fulfilling life together!

Good luck

Pete

Hi Pete...thank you and I hope were heading that way too...

Hi can anyone educate me about radiation and its side and after effects. My partner has been cancer free for 4 years now. recently they found another lump in his neck. He just finish 40 session of high dose radiation and will see the results in a week or so if it was succesfull. Its his 2nd time to have radiation bec of a lump in his neck prior to that he had a 12 hour operation for his mouth cancer. Id really appreciate if anyone can educate me on radiaion and chemo and an honest opinion of what to expect if radiation isnt successfull..thank you

Hi CLM61, I think it is best to try and think that radiation will be successfull if you can. I'm a 10 year survivor and my radiotherapy worked well. I hope it does for your partner too.

What are the after efects of radiation? Im having some difficulties understanding my partner... seems his down mostly full of anger and complains...I thougth he was ok a few weeks ago when he was up and jolly but the following days he was terrible...angry and irritated....does their memory really deteriorate that badly after?

Hi CLM61,
I don't think your partners memory is the issue here.
I think your partner is probably feeling very low and worried since his cancer has come back.
When i finnished treatment my emotions were all over the place. And it's true we always take it out on those we care about.
One minute i'd be smiling and laughing, the next i'd be angry and frustrated, the next i'd be inconsolable!
I hope your partner feels better soon.
Michelle

Hi again CLM61

I think Chelle has given some good advice here. After so many years problem free, it's a real setback to have even think about going through it all again (I can only imagine) and as you are the closest person to him, you're in the firing line for his vented anger. Maybe you should point him to this site so that he might express himself and have fellow "sufferers" advise him directly.

From your own point of view, my advice would be, try to be patient and understanding with him, however try not to let him get YOU down either. If everybody in the household is miserable, it can't be a "healthy" atmosphere.

Try to be strong

Pete

Hi Pete
Thank you for the suggestion but he was here for a day or so only out of curriosity and for his donation I think but I never mentioned Im in the site too for better understanding of his condition. His now undergoing radiation again. He decided to consulted a private doctor this time in england. To his dismay they found a small lump in his neck.His based outside UK and just finish a 40 session of radiation last feb since they found a lump in his neck. 3 weeks ago his dutch doctor said his radiation was succesfull. I feel so sorry for him to go thru the process again and feel sick all day.
May I asked what are the side effects of radiation other than vomiting frequently. How do I make him feel better as he regain his strength. thank you..