Hi,

My name is Dawn. I would love to chat to anyone that could help me understand this,
My mum was diagnosed with cancer on the tongue in August 08. She has her operation to remove the tumour which meant having half her tongue removed, skin graft from inner arm to replace the flesh etc to the tongue. She also had her glands removed as a precaution. We were told that we had caught it early and that everyone would be ok. However as she started her radiotherapy last week they noticed that the cancer had returned to the neck area. To our shock they have told her and the family she has 6mths to a year to live and thats if she resonds well to treatment. She now has to have chemo and radiotherapy. Its been her first week this week and already she is really poorly. Its seems to be fast. Im really scared for her and us. I dont want to loose her but i know its something we have to deal with but how ?. They have told us she has secondary cancer and that its squamous cell cancer.
Please if anyone has experience of this or are familiar to our situation, please reply as i would take comfort in talking to someone understands. Im strong, i need to facts and i feel im dealing with this ok, however i need more understanding and need real words and stories. Please
Thanks so much for reading

hi dawn
i too had tongue cancer but compared to your mum mine was not as severe and i had no surgery but chemo and radiotherapy.i am so sorry that you have had this bad news about your mum,ofcourse you are scared and worried there is nothing worse than losing a parent or a partner to this dreadful disease.dawn i cant answer your question but i just wanted you to know that i had read your post and wanted to aknowledge it.someone will be a long who will be able to answer your concerns.keep intouch with the macmillan nurses they are wonderful and can help mum and the family in so many ways.please keep us in the picture regarding your mum and we will always be here to support you.love shirl xxx

Hello Dawn
I agree totally with you. I would much rather know cold hard facts because then I am able to figure out how I'm going to deal with a situation, rather than wading through half truths and inuendo. You will get just that on this forum. I am in a similar situation myself and I'm more than happy to talk to you.
You will find wonderful, supportive friends here on the forum so don't hesitate to post away ......
Love from Down Under
Deborah

Hi Dawn, I was diagnosed in 1997 with SCC in my sinus. I had ops and RT. I never wanted to know about treatments and stuff in medical terms, just wanted straight answers in plain english. I think it's easier like that. I considered myself strong and if you are then I'm sure you will be a tower of strength. You'll find plenty of support here. Hagg.

Hello Dawn

I was just talking a little while ago to Brian Hill, founder of the Oral Cancer Foundation and he told me that he had been given just months to live after being diagnosed with a T4 throat cancer. That was over 4 years ago! It is difficult to predict an outcome. There is still a chance that the chemo and radiotherapy will help your mum.

Best wishes
Vinod

Dear Dawn,
I am so sorry to hear about your mom. I am a tongue cancer survivor and had the slash/burn & poison treatment. The doctors should not say your mom has 6mths to a year to live, she is undergoing treatment and hopefully it will be successful, althought the treatment will be very difficult, it can save her life. Just be supportive and do what you can to help her get through it. She can beat the odds as many have on this forum. I hate when doctors quantify life and the patient gets this idea in their head that they will not survive it. An oncologist friend of mine said you can throw everything at the cancer, but if your attitude is negative you might as well not do anything, that helped me to change my attitude and get through it.
Wishing your mom much strength and courage. Keep us posted on her progress. Best Regards, Pamela

Hi Dawn

I had the same operation as your mum but didn't have rad or chemo.

I agree with Pamela--the doctor ought not to have said that. When my parents and I went for my biopsy back in early '05, my doctor told us "I've never lost anyone to this." I think that that comment, more than anything else, helped us all get through the whole episode. In my case, it was a little different: all I needed was surgery (not that it wasn't traumatic and scary as all get out). I can only imagine what you and your mum must be going through.

You've come to the right place.