My mother was diagnosed with advanced mouth cancer last month. It took such a long time to get to that diagnosis, though we were all fairly sure of it by the time it finally came.

My mother has suffered with bad mouth ulcers for some time and has mentioned them to her GP on a number of occasions. However, she's not a pushy person and didn't persist. She's had quite a bit of illness over the past few months, and has had two stays in hospital. On each occasion, the mouth ulcers weren't really looked at.

They got worse and worse and affected her ability to eat and drink, yet she was only given gels for them. Eventually they looked. Mum had an exploratory operation a couple of weeks ago, when the cancer was confirmed, and an MRI scan the day after which, after a week of waiting, confirmed the size of the tumour and that her glands had been affected.

Mum has hardly eaten for three months and is extremely weak. She also had a few TIAs (mild strokes) before her first hospital stay, and a mild heart attack before her op. The surgeon was only able to offer surgery that would remove most of her tongue and part of her face, or chemotherapy that 'might' reduce the tumour to half it's size. However, we now know that this cancer is particularly aggressive.

Mum does not want any treatment, and yesterday she moved to our local hospice where they are finally able to keep her pain under control. The hospital was able to give her morphine for the mouth pain, but this did not alleviate the neuralgic pains she had shooting up the side of her face. It's been one battle after another.

Now we are at the waiting stage, and thankful that she is comfortable at last. Now feeling a bit useless as there are no further battles to fight for her. My daughter and I are signed up for the walk in November and are already raising money - so that should give us something to focus on.

Thought I'd just come in here and say hi.

Forgot to add ...

A number of years ago, my mother's dentist stopped treating NHS patients and she was unable to afford to have private treatment. I gather that it is now common for dentists to look for signs of mouth cancer during routine checkups. I think this is such a vital part of awareness and prevention - does anyone know of any campaigns to get the government to improve dental care funding, with mouth cancer prevention in mind?

Hello Auntie P

Sorry to hear about your mum. There is a problem with access to NHS dentists but the situation is improving with the recruitment of foreign dentists and will improve further with the increase in the numbers of dentists being trained in the UK. The local PCTs and NHSDirect can help the public find a dentist. Most of the public is registered with a doctor, so mouth caner awareness needs to be directed at GPs too. Steps are being taken to improve awareness of what to look for. Last year MCF sent out a Mouth Cancer awareness poster to each GP practice on the World Cancer Reserch Fund's mailing list. The Open up to Mouth Cancer campaign is part of the effort.

Best wishes
Vinod

ungtie P, It is a very sad story to read im in tears here
If you read my story it too took god knows how mqny visits to my GP then my Dentist did refer me to my local Hospital and I had a biopsy and was told to go home nothing wrong with you and an attitude I had wasted there time!
It was not until it went to my neck the Cancer that is I got to the Maxfax unit.
Not much help but if they had been honest with me the life I would now lead I would taken the same road as your Dear Mother.
Words fail me to comfort yopu but you are so brave to share this with us at this time and I do hope you Mums pain is alievated as much as possible, Will be praying for you all tomorrow at Mass

God Bless Paul

My mother died yesterday morning, peacefully at the hospice. My brother, sister-in-law and I were all with her when she went. Such a relief, but it still seems so unreal as everything has happened so quickly since she first became ill and the fact that she was only properly diagnosed a few weeks ago.

We're just busying ourselves with formalities at the moment, but it will hit home soon, I'm sure. I feel I've not finished my fight and when I've gathered myself together, will be campaigning for greater awareness.

@Paul - I'm so sorry to hear that you had such a struggle to be taken seriously. I don't need to say that I know how hard it can be. Thank you for your kind words.

So sorry to hear of your loss. Words are of little consolation at times like these but my thoughts are with you and your family at this time.

Dear Auntie P I'm so sorry to learn of your sad news. That seems so quick as she has just recently moved to the hospice. It's wonderful that she was surrounded by her nearest and dearest - those who love her the most. As you say, you will be kept busy with the arrangements for a while, but once you have laid your Mum to rest you must try and make time for yourself - I'm sure your Mum would want that. For now please know that our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family and, when you feel able, come back and let us know how you are.

You are very brave to be planning to raise awareness for mouth cancer at such a difficult time. God bless. Brenda.

Auntie P,
Warmest condolences to you and your family on the loss of your mother. I am 32 and have been very aware of the effect my cancer has had on my mother, father, new hubby of just a year and other wonderful family members and friends. Always remember that your strength, bravery and support were the best and most precious help and comfort your mother could have wished for.
Thoughts and prayers for now and the long days ahead for you and your family.
Lindsay x

Very sorry about your loss, Hope you and your family find peace.

God Bless, Chrys

Very sorry about your loss, Auntie P. It is always sad to loose a loved one, even when we expect it. May her memories soothe the ache of your loss.