My dad was diagnosed this week with Mouth cancer, primary in the left toncil which has rapidly and agressively spread into the lymph nodes. We have been told that surgery is out of the question as the tumour has wraped itself around the veins and arterys and there is a strong indication to suggest it is penertrating the main artery so he has been offered radiotherapy and maybe some kemo. We have been told that is will not be a cure and we must be realistic about the out come. They have said that the best advice they can give is to go out and enjoy the rest of your life ( we were told two,max) and do all the things that you've always wanted to do. How do you stay positive? I have been functioning on auto pilot since we were told. My dad has taken it on the chin and seems to be coping with it well. I hope that once treatment starts he respondes well and that the two years can at least be doubled

Jayne, Hi there, I am so sorry your dad has been diagnosed with the big C. If it is any salvation, there are always people here to help and to give constructive advice. Now, get this into prospective… I am a carer, not that that means much because in the physical sense, I haven’t done that much. My husband, aged 67, was diagnosed earlier this year with a stage IV cancer. He was given ‘an optimistic 50/50 chance of survival’. His cancer of the tongue was so advanced that they could not operate. In their words, if they did, he would have no quality of life, having both the whole of his tongue and his voice box removed.

Bill has had three lots of chemo and 20 days of r/t. We went for a check in at our cancer hospital on Thursday. The consultant says, after only 5 months , Bill is clear.

Do not give up hope. Don’t let your Dad give up hope.

Good luck

Angie

Hi jayne

So very sorry to hear about your dad. You have come to the right place though. You will find massive support here from everybody. Like Angie says don't give up hope.

Mum

PS Angie, good news about Bill

Hey Jayne,
So sorry to hear of your dad.
I hope we can help you through this awful time.

Dear Angie...
I'm soooo over the moon to read that ~Bill is in remission!! Honestly! I'm sooo so happy for you both!
All that not knowing worked out ok after all! Its better than we could have imagined!
Love Michelle

Dear Jayne,

I truly understand more as to what your father is going through and there is no question but to have the time of his life. Let him do all the things he ever wanted , but protocol did not allow it so.

I too have accepted the fact that its just a matter of time in my case - and then... ( but I may just stun the doctors and come alive as I have been doing everytime they said I was dying!). From the formal corporate suits, well groomed short hair and clean shaven all the time - I decided to just let go. I have grown my hair, tie a cute little ponytail, Shave maybe twice a week and of course the diamond stud on my LEFT ear lobe. I only wear jeans and T's (without sleeves - for the macho look and it works at times!).

I really and honestly really care for what your dad is going through like I said I have been through it all and these were the exact words my doctors toled me - 'Go and have a time of your life as each moment is wealth beyond compare'. Live like a king and take him out wherever he wants - even if you have to carry him to the car and start the drive. All these small things will be so heartening for him.
There is really nothing more I can add to make life easier for him or you - the family. However, never thing of any negative things that may have occured in life but only those happy moments he shared with the family. Talk to him about those days, talk to him about all his ex flames ( my sons know all their names by now!!), talk about the palces he has been to and ask him questions as though you do not know anything about the place he is talking about - he will be more then happy to tell you his experiences there and in other places.

You have some fantastic people here who will give you support much more then you can even imagine and then who knows????

Take care,
Ananth

Thank you for taking time out to get in touch and offer your kind words. We will make sure he truly has the time of his life as we celebrate who our dad is and all he has achieved. We live in hope that this awful thing may go into remission then we will have that to celebrate too
jayne