Hi, my dad was diagnosed with mouth cancer about 4 weeks ago and has had all the scans etc. Tuesday is "D" Day when we get all the results.

My dad is perfectly healthy apart from the cancer and if he didn't know he had this he would just be complaining of a sore throat.

He's had a sore throat since September and has been to the doctors several times complaining of this and has been sent away with with antibiotics etc and was even told at one point it would just be something he would have to live with. It was only his insistence that got him an appointment at a dental hospital which confirmed the cancer.

My mum had a nervous breakdown abroad in September and is still recovering so I have felt responsible for ensuring both of them are ok but am finding that I am getting exhausted by doing this as I have a full time job and my own home to keep in order.

I havn't had a lot of time to think about things but was ill for a couple of day this week so was banished from my parents house (understandably). Anyway, with time to think about things it suddenly hit me.........my dad might die.

I'm a 37 year old independent woman but suddenly feel like a lost little girl who doesn't know how she will cope without her Daddy. Does anyone else here understand what I mean? I can't let him know this and could do with some feedback from people who know how I feel.

Good Morning Gert,
A cancer diagnosis hits everyone hard,patient,carers,family and friends. I sometimes think that it can hit the close family worse than the patient.
The contributers to this website know just how you are feeling right now because we have all been there,it is not all darkness; there is light at the end of the tunnel.Please keep in mind that most of the contributers are cancer SURVIVORS, seven years in my case but many have a much more impressive post cancer longevity. So take heart and keep your chin up, dad needs people around him who are upbeat to give him confidence.
Keep Smiling
John

I am so srry to hear you have had to join the club that no one wants to join. There is great support here! Several members here helped me in several ways.

As you can tell by my name, I do understand some of how you are feeling. Once you the specific type of cancer please make sure you let us know. Also get the TNM for us. My father was diagnosed with Base of the tongue - Stage IV - T3N1M0 - started T2 but went to T3 - that refers to the size of the tumor.

He has now been in remission for almost TWO YEARS! The raod is challenging but there is light! He had both chemo and radiation and it sounds silly as he is my father, was my neighbor, and my business partner for 10 years and just sitting at his chemo treatments were strangley some wonderful times.

There will be lots more to talk about and many more members will chime in with support. Be sure to go to the Dr appointments to have a back up set of ears. Take a pad with you and write down some questions - leaving space for notes. This will lead to more Q&A.

Thank you both for your replies. I am going with him and my mum on Tuesday so that I can hear the diagnosis myself and decide how to play it from there.

I will let you both know how it went and am glad both of you have had positive experience.

My husband was diagnosed with Stage IV base of tongue SCC in March 2007. Surgery was deemed too radical so underwent chemo and radiotherapy. It has been a very bumpy road and although not quite the man he was, he has been cancer free for 3 years.

This site supported me through the bad times (and even had some laughs along the way) there is always someone who has got the tee shirt and can give advice, assistance and can let you know what to expect next.

You will be going through the headless chicken mode at present but try to stay as positive as possible and keep your mum and dad the same.

Best of luck tomorrow, let us know what happens.

Hi Gert, sorry you have to join us but you're in good company. There are people on here with a wealth of experience which I'm sure will help you in the future.
As John says, there are plenty of survivors on here too so hang in there. Hagg.

Hi all

I have just got in and thought I would update you with my dad's prognosis. Well, it turns out he has cancer of the nasal cavity and the cancer in his mouth is where the cancer ends. According to the surgeon this is very unusual as they said normally it's the other way round and they can't work out where it's started from (trust my dad to be different ha ha). Anyway, they are goin to do 1 final scan in the next few days on his lower body just to ensure it hasn't come from anywhere else (the surgeon doesn't think it has at all and that it's localised) as a precaution and he has to have surgery to remove the cancer which is 5 cm in diameter.

He may not even need any radio or chemo as the op may get rid of it and I took advice from a member here and we wrote the questions down we wanted answered and everything seems quite positive.

At the moment we feel like we've been given a reprieve and I want to thank all of you on here for you kind words, they mean an awful lot.

Once my dad's had the op I may introduce him to this site so he can chat to people who have been through it.

Anyway, I will keep you all posted on his progress and hope that I can offer support for anyone else.

Much love xxx

Good afternoon Gert, (again)
The scan is a normal procedure and a good precaution. If RT and chemo are not necessary then that is a good bonus but bear in mind the doctor said he MAY not need it.
Your dad could derive a lot of benefit from looking into this site, the trouble is it could cost you a new lap top for his birthday!
Keep smiling
John

Thanks for keeping us updated. I am glad things are looking better. Sometimes just knowing helps you get a plan of action and that helps the process. Remember ther will still be ups and downs but that is ok.

My father had nasal surgery to remove HUGE pollups in his nose well before he ever had cancer - this was not cancer but still nasal surgery. One thing that he invested in was a good facial steamer.

The steam helped him to be able to breathe - you might ask your doctor what they think - for $50 my dad; daily life was much easier and therefore priceless. Take care.

Hi Gert

Knowing is better than not knowing, and I noticed that you sound a bit less frantic than you did initially. I'm truly hoping for the best for you and your dad.

HelpingDad: You are SO right about facial steamers/vaporisers. We had a vaporiser when I was trached; my dad and I did a bit of Rube Goldberg engineering to attach it to the breathing mask over the trach and it really did the trick. That warm, moist air was sooo soothing.

It's a beautiful Saturday here. Hope everyone is well.

Julia

Hey there Just checking in and saying hello