On January 19, 2005, my mother had cancer removed from the side of her tongue. They took about 2/3 of tongue. After healing, she went through six weeks radiation. During post-ops, all doctors said everything is fine. About three weeks ago she developed nodule-like lumps on her neck (right around the neck disection line). Biopsies revealed more cancer. Now she has to go for a PET/CAT scan. The doctor told her that if it has spread, that it would probably be inoperable. I need some advice. She is quite depressed and thinks the end is near. She just finished radiation two months ago. Can it come back that quick. I am also lining up another doctor for a second opinion. Anyone else who has similar stories or advice, please respond. You're all very brave. I see what my mother is going through. God bless all of you -- Bill

Dear Bill

My husband went through the same operation etc as your mother, almost exactly to the same timescale 12 months ago.

He was operated on 26th Feb, and 1/2 of his tongue removed, and lymph nodes, with 6 weeks of radiotherapy.

He was given the all clear after the radiotherapy at the end of May.

By July the cancer was back, and he had nodules on his neck. We were told it was inoperable once it has spread to the skin.

He was put on chemotherapy in August. He started with Docetaxol, which worked for 2 months before a growth in his jaw became visible. Then methotrexate with cyclophosphamine was tried which didn't really work. After a couple of months of this we were told that there were no more options.

We got some Iressa from a pharma company on a trial basis, but sadly he died before we were able to start it.

Cetuximab also has shown some success in Head and Neck cancer patients, but this wasn't available to us.

He passed away in December last year. He was 34.

I'm sorry if this isn't what you want to hear. But hopefully the info on the chemo drugs that we tried (especially the Docetaxol which had a degree of success) might be of use to you

Kindest regards

Kezia (spouse)

Hello Kezia:
Thank you for responding. I'm sorry to hear about your husband. May God comfort you. I appreciate the drugs you mentioned. I'm pretty sure by the looks of the doctors face, that my mother's condition is not looking good. I will discuss all the possibilities with them. Take care,

Bill

Dear Kezia, I am loss what to say mate.
I am so sorry you lost your Partner he wa so young.
I too had same treament that was when I was 44yo now 46.
It stunned me really to read your posting how lucky I am but?
I can only say I am so sad I got it so early in my life now my "life" is no more just a matter os survival, I know the critics will say you are alive but living a life no way.
I really really feel for you I will pray you find comfort that he did not suffer for years I know no conselation but its all i can say right now.

god bless you

Paul

Dear Kezia,


all ask what did we do to go through so much pain, all loss is very
hard to bear

Hi Bill P, I have an idea whatyour poor Mum going through, After my mouth & neck operation (part tongue removed) I have have 7 biopsies as they thought it had come back and belive me it scares the life out of you and the wait for the results omg
I do hope that the outcome is not as bad as you fear please keep us posted

Paul

Hello Paul:

I just got back from Philadelphia with some very sad news regarding my mother's condition. The biopsy confirmed that the cancer has indeed come back -- and with a vengence. Dr. Greg Weinstein, the surgeon who removed the cancerous tumor on January 17, 2005, said that the new cancer has spread quickly in her mouth and neck area and is inoperable.

On June 2, about eight weeks after her last radiation treatment, we saw the doctors, and they said that all looked great and not to come back for four months. About a week later, my mother began speaking of pain in her mouth area and shortly after, some strange-looking bumps appeared on the side of her disected neck. I took her to the doctors immediately. They did the biopsy then. A week later, they confirmed cancer.

The doctors at Philadelphia were quite surprised that the cancer had come back so quickly, although they did say that they have been seeing more-than-usual reoccurances of this particular type of cancer.

Chemotherapy is basically the only option; however, he said that this will not cure it -- eventually the cancer will get the best of her.

After Dr. Weinstein told us the grim news, he referred us to a chemo doctor, who recommended two chemo drugs: carboplatin and taxotere. I know very little regarding cancer, radiation, chemotherapy. No one in our family has ever been afflicted with this disease.

I know what you're going through, and I admire tremendously your courage and great will. You're a great inspiration to all those on these boards.

My family is heart-broken. We are all very close to my mother -- she has taken care of us all, never complaining, always there for us. My wife, who is pregnant with twins, is crushed. She and my mother have become very close. I have a four-year-old daughter who does not understand what is happening.

Although, the situation looks dire, I have not given up hope or faith. I will continue to do all that I could to help and comfort her. Thank you for answering my message. I wish nothing but the best for you. Be strong.

Bill

Hi Bill, Thanks for replying.
Its so so difficult for everyone when this happens although my parents are gone and rest of the family miles away so I was glald really.
Is yuor Mum coping ok?
Does she fully understand whats happening?
Even now I still think omg they did this and that I had forgot.
I will be at mass tommorow morning and pray for you and your families I am not that religeous but really I feel in gods hands now.Not trying to preach or anything but when youo are spent you turn to God often.
Has your Mum a faith and good friends around her?
wher is your Mum now at home?
Bill belive me only the good people seem to get this awful Cancer I dont know why and will never undertand it.
If yuo get a chance if Vickie from LV comes on send her a message she has been through the mill and such a wise and brave person and better relating things than me he he
Were not brave really "we have no choice in the matter.
I am not sure what to say now but I pray your Mum
has been given as much help as possible and I realise in the USA the Health System is totally different to here in London (UK)but it varies here from County to County what type or care you get!
god bless you all mate

Paul

Hello Paul:

Thanks for responding. It really helps. My mother, 70, knows everything. The doctors told us the entire sad information and the grim expectations. When they told us (me, my sister, and mother) the news, we all just sat staring at the doctor, numb. My mom and sister cried later as we were waiting for the chemo doctor's arrival. My mother, however, quickly regained her composure. She has always been a strong woman, mentally and physically. She's a simple woman from a small village in Greece. She came to the USA in 1955. We are Greek Orthodox. She has a strong faith, saying that only God knows what is in store for each and every one us. She told that no matter what happens to hang onto each other and move forward with our respective families. My older sister is arriving shortly from Greece (that's where she and her family live). We have a strong support system. My family (wife, 4 1/2 daughter, and twins on the way) live a few houses away. My states side sister lives an 45 minutes away in Pennsylvania. My mother has two sisters close by. And of course, my father lives with her.

Thanks for praying for us. My family goes to church every Sunday. I'll say a prayer for you and thank God for your comforting message responses.

I do not know Vicki, but if I see her, I will shoot her a message.

I seen my father go through a heart attack, quadrouple bypass, a pacemaker, and diabetes four years ago. He's nine years older than my mother, and he's still hanging tough. I've seen my mother trek back to Greece a few years ago to take care of her aging parents (both in their 90s when they died).

Always knew that the day would come when our parents' health starts to falter with old age. It makes you think and find inner meanings to life. Some of us become a little more spiritual; others a bit bitter. I choose the first. You learn to live and appreciat life each day. No matter what, I will support, pray , and continue to enjoy her until God says it's time to say good bye.

Take care of yourself Paul. God be with you,

Bill

HI Bill, What a very nicely put reply I thankyou for that.
I have been thorugh all of what your Mum and the rest of your Family are going through. I guess you Mum in her own mind has thought Anger, Why me, Have to get on with it, I think leaving her loving husband behind is VERY hard for her.
I lost my Mum when I was 40 yo(16 years ago) she was 68 and in poor health for many years.

You may not realise now Bill but the strength you have to post on here and to talk will in the long run be benefit to your and your family you show such strenght.
I am guessing your about my age I had a partner for 18 years but we parted 2 years ago I live alone now and my Mum died when I was 30 (16 years now) she was 68yo and in poor health for many years.
I love love Greece and the Islands but not keen on the Greek Mass it goes on and on and on again but have been on many accasions even once I heard the Mass in Latin in Mykonos that was great.

Please feel free to keep talking on here as it does help other people like yourself who come on here but not brave enough to post their feeling.
God bless you all

Paul

Hello Paul:

Thanks for the kind words. They really help. I'm 42, and I've had a close, great relationship with my mother. We are a close knit group. My wife's family is the same. Know what you mean about the long Greek liturgies. I find them very soothing and dripping with mysticism and history.

Glad you like the Greek isles. My sister lives in southern Greece with her husband and two sons. They are coming this Saturday.

We should be starting the first round of chemo this Wed or Thurs. Gotta keep the faith.


Take care, Bill