Hi Mel,
I would be flattered and delighted to be of service. Please feel free to quote me (I am assuming (for assuming, read 'intending') that I will maintain my PMA once the radio- and chemo- treatments start in the next few weeks.

My philosophical base (and the source of my positivity, if I may call it such) is my practice of Buddhism (I have practiced for a little over twenty-one years).

In Buddhism, there is a principle called 'shikishin funi' that explains that the body (shiki, the physical aspect of life) and mind (shin, mind, spirit or all that is invisible, including spiritual phenomena) are integral phases of the same entity.

The way I feel from day to day is, for me, proof of this principle.

A favourite quotation, which inspires me, is the following, written by a Japanese priest called Nichiren Daishonin when he was about to be exiled to Sado Island, a place roundly thought of as the armpit of the universe and from where exiles were not expected to return. Was he downcast? See for yourself - this is what he wrote:

"The hardships along the way were worse than I could have imagined, and indeed more than I can put down in writing. I will leave you to surmise what I endured. But I have been prepared for such difficulties from the outset, so there is no point in starting to complain about them now. I shall accordingly say no more of the matter."

Mind you, I also like Winston Churchill's "If you’re going through Hell – keep going!"

Best regards

Robert WT

Robert!!!

Awesome!... Your PMA is attracting scholars to our humble 'lil site! Didn't I tell you that you're a rare gem... a novelty... (a brilliant and spiritual man)?! Looks as though Mel may beat me in this online race to decipher your intriguing brain, my friend!

Mel... After you have "decoded" Robert's brain and you're both invited on the Oprah show (and Dr. Phil!), don't forget to snag me a couple of tickets!

Seriously, Robert, you are an inspiration to us all. I'm so happy you found this site... and we found YOU! I'm also glad that you have deepseated faith and a wonderful belief system that obviously sustains you, particularly in times of mental and physical challenge. I just know that your upcoming treatment will go remarkably well.

From my heart,

Melanie

P.S. I'm not so sure I like Churchill's thoughts about going "through Hell". I can honestly say (after co-battling Dan's cancer) that I've been TO Hell, but we came a-trudging on back! Didn't like it enough to go all the way THROUGH the joint... let alone to keep going beyond THAT point! (I'd be afraid to discover what might be on the "OTHER SIDE" of Hell!! Yikes!!!!)

A self-helper needs to have hope. In case someone wishes to learn more about PMA, here's a link: DEVELOPING ATTITUDES THAT HELP YOU COPE

quote:

The same circumstances may crush one person, hardly concern another, and even be considered an interesting challenge by a third person. What makes the difference? One's attitude! Thus, advice-givers often suggest certain attitudes: "have a positive mental attitude," "believe in yourself," "look for the best in people," "whatever happens is for the best--it's God's will," and so on. These ideas may help some people feel better and perhaps do better, if they can figure out how to adopt the suggested attitude.

A little book that I have found useful: Thought Power: pdf, html

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Dr Vinod K Joshi,

Hi all,
Just heard today that my audition for the Phantom of the Opera starts on Monday 12th June ....

<and now in English ....>

Just heard .... my radiotherapy (in the mask) (and chemo - probably without the mask) start on Monday 12th June ....

Now to show that cancer just who's boss!

Robert WT

My dear masked friend from far away:

We shall expect standing ovations... rave reviews... nothing short of an award-winning performance every day! Your audience will include fine people... physicians, family and friends (including those right here -- cheering you on in cyber-land). Be brave now and make us PROUD... (No stage fright for you!)... and keep the PMA going strong!!!

FMH,

Melanie

Hi Melanie and everyone,
I started my radiotherapy (RT) last Tuesday and I have completed the first 4 sessions. I had my first chemotherapy (CT) on Thursday.

So far, the only noticeable effects have been some (light) fatigue, redness around my beard line and mild nausea. But it’s early days. Am I worried? Not darn likely.

RT is for 'at least' 23 sessions (it may/is likely to/could possibly, etc.) get extended. The end of RT and moreover CT, will depend on the success of the initial treatments and how me and my little cancer are shaping up.

I ticked the 3 boxes marked 'no nausea', 'no fatigue' and 'damned if I want any other side effects' on the induction form when I arrived at the hospital so I should be OK. Yes?

PMA going strong. I will prevail!

Robert
(Still as mad as a box of frogs)

You can say goodbye to the beard pretty soon then.

'Fraid so, Tony,
As the old song says "even the best of friends must part ..."



RWT

Hello my friend!

Good to log on and find your update. So far, so good it seems Do get the rest you need... the radiation/chemo combo is majorly taxing on the bod. You describe mild nausea which may be tolerable at present... but, as the days go on, you may want to consider obtaining an anti-nausea prescription to keep on hand... PMA is great, but not super-effective against a persistent upset stomach. Controlling the nausea will likely help you to better deal with other side effects in the weeks upcoming, and maintain proper nutrition throughout... which, of course, is absolutely vital. As for the beard... I'll bet you are a handsome fellow with or without. I rather like a smooth-faced man myself! Dan's mustache thinned just a tad during radiation, but never came out completely. (Today it is thick as always.) His beard, however, was erased permanently... but I don't miss it much... too abrasive when we cuddled! Robert, you are doing very well... I just knew you would! Keep us updated as you are able. I am adding my own dose of PMA to go along with yours today... (Do you feel the double-power?!!)... for another cancer-whipping week of treatment and keeping side-effects to a controlled minimum! Take care and keep an eye out for the finish line!

FMH,

Melanie

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Melanie,

Hi Melanie, and all,
Many thanks for the support. Never be in any doubt of the power of a few words to inspire, encourage and help.

Now I’m at the end of my second week of radiotherapy and chemotherapy. No appreciable side effects yet. That is, I have still a full head of hair (well, save where it has already receded or dropped out without the help of x-rays or prescribed chemicals).

OTOH, I have become aware of another two lumps, mid-way down the underside of the right side of my jaw, one next to the bone, the other rather nearer the centre line. Two new little buggers! The overtime function on my imagination began to kick in. What are the new lumps? More squamous cells, escaped from the mother ship on a mission to cause havoc on the underside of my jaw? Is there another 'primary' somewhere else? If so, where else? Is this the tongue (cancer) poking itself out as it waves me goodbye? 'I'll show you... trying to evict me from my cosy resting-place'.

The doctors don’t seem too concerned about it.

"It's probably only a little lymph node or gland ......"

I have decided not to worry about it.

In chemotherapy this week I discovered that doctors have an answer for everything. Sometimes it is the same answer.... The Doctor in question looked little older than my nephew, currently at the end of his first year at university.

"How was it for you, last week?" (It's been a while since I was asked that ... and never by another man)

"Nothing spectacular. I felt vaguely sick on the Saturday and the Sunday."

"I can prescribe something else for that . "

Then this week I have been a bit constipated"

"I can prescribe something for that . "

"I found that I got 'wind' pains"

"I can prescribe something for that.... "

I wondered what his reaction would be if I said ‘I need a new car …” or “I need some money to cover the mortgage …”

-0-0-0-

Friday, a CT scan (full body) and a chat with the doctors. No great additional information, save that the lumps appear to be within the topographical scope of my extant treatment area. All that will need to happen is that I get a wider field of radiation I my radiotherapy treatments.

That's my week, such as it is. Bitchin' eh? How's you?

Best regards

Robert WT

Things seem to be going well for you Robert - well done chap. As you know I've had a radical neck dissection and 33 sessions of a 3 area radiotherapy course.
When I queried little lumps and bumps the consultant said
"Well what do you expect? Your neck's been scrambled and your remaining lymph glands have been fried."
There's no answer to that! I had to laugh. If any part of your spinal cord has been close the RT field you may well get a tingling nerve tremor sensation down your legs a month or so after the RT has finished. This can be really unsettling!
I also had little muscle spasms down my arms and legs during my RT. Just small sections of muscles that used to twitch - my mind used to run riot!
I've been finished RT 18 months now and all seems to be going well - PMA? - touch my wooden neck!
good luck to you pal - Tony K

Hi Melanie, Tony K and everyone

A mixed week, lieblings

On the one hand I have now completed 13 fractions of radiotherapy (a third of the way through) and 3 sessions of chemotherapy (half way through). Hoorah!

On the other hand, my beard has begun to drop out. I don’t know why I am surprised, after all, hair loss was one of the expected side effects of the radiotherapy. Little tufts of black and grey-white hair come away to a gentle tug leaving my chin as smooth as a baby’s bottom. Honestly, after twenty-five years hiding under my whiskers that it’s come to this! What a hoot!

Yet it appears that my moustache may be untouched, touch wood. Or maybe I will be left with a small goatee. Perhaps I will just retain the moustache and shave the rest, beard, head and all? Or is time to say goodbye to it all?

I remember asking a long standing friend who went blind when he had the accident when he was eight years old, whether his blindness was a complete handicap. His answer summed up an admirable attitude and the strength of the man:

“It’s not a handicap, but it’s a bloody nuisance”

I love that man!

So that’s it. This hair loss will be a bloody nuisance and no one jot more. Probably a lot less.

On my third hand, I am pleased to report that I have had little else in the way of other side effects. The worst stuff involves my throat, which feels like it’s strewn with broken glass and swallowing is very painful, if not plain impossible. At lunch I could manage some taghliatelli with pesto (just, and just because it was delicious) but apple strudel and ice cream slid down quite easily. I can be a pretty feeble-hearted diabetic when I want (need) to be! Roll on the weekend when I can chill out on soft food and banana smoothies.

I am told that I can expect nausea from the chemotherapy. It hasn’t happened yet. Neither has the fatigue. The latter is a serious thing. Apparently it descends like a curtain. One minute you’re full of beans, the next ‘zonk’ and it’s the Land of the Zombies.

(I’ve run out of hands …. so on with the post!)

Travelling to and from the hospital; is becoming routine. There’s a 14 seater minibus which travels in, past (almost) the end of my road on a Monday morning and back on Friday afternoon. Usually it calls in on a couple of Hospitals en route, picking up or dropping off people and pathology specimens. The first time I used the service I was misinformed and went off on the minibus to Navan. (Where Pearce Brosnan comes from.) Fortunately, right County. Unfortunately, wrong Town. It took 5 hours from Hospital to the drop off in Navan. The journey, by car, takes about 60 minutes, 75 to 80 in rush hour.

It may come as little or no surprise that bookings for the minibuses and coordination of journeys is done by an office with the improbable and ironic title of ‘Patient Transport’.

So there you have it, the Irish contingent is well, in the circumstances, still keen to be getting on with it and in a rather better state that was anticipated.

More PMA to come.

Mmmwah!

Robert WT

I like you Robert - you type with a lovely Irish accent!
Patient transport - I like it! My trips were shorter but the other passengers were regulars like me for 6/7 weeks and so a nice feeling of cameradie built up.
When it all stops it felt (mentally speaking) like running into a brick wall. Total Limbo land. I had to go on anti-depressants then - I completely broke down.

I used to have a nice? jaw line beard(it gave some definition to my flabby neck/chin!)

Now I have a bit of a goatee as that's the only area which grows. If the hair don't grow elsewhere - neither do any cancer cells!!
Keep passing on the PMA
cheers Tony K

Dont know who wrote this, but it seems very apt
"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort" Best wishes everyone.

Dear PMA-Robert...

You are definitely one of our most 'colorful' MCF members! I enjoy your postings immensely. So very glad to know you are faring this well with treatment. Been thinking about you and still sending up my prayers on your behalf. Keep counting down the treatments, mark them off one by one. At the end of the day, pat yourself on the back... job well done... PMA still intact... eyes on the finish line. You're a good man, Robert!

FMH,

Melanie