Hi

I'm sorry for taking up valuable space on your forum as this isn't really mouth cancer but don't really know where else to turn

I'm 33 married with 2 young children and my mum has terminal breast cancer, she was diagnosed 6 weeks after my son was born 3 yrs ago, had a mastectomy, radio and 2 lots of chemo and it's now back in the other breast, she's just had more radio and although she is getting Herceptin it's still come back, all they've said is that they can control it but not cure it but I don't understand how they can stop it killing her if they can't cure it and it's come back

On top of this, my dad had a laryngoscopy yesterday for an abnormality in his throat and following that had an urgent CT scan, they took biopsies and said they'll see him with the results within a week, as a nurse I know they don't do urgent CT's like this for no reason and this looks highly likely he has cancer too

I am absolutely gobsmacked that both my parents now have cancer and all I can see before me is a double funeral!, I am really struggling to cope with all this, my children are 3 and 7 and I am so scared, my parents mean the world to me and I know that everyone has to die someday I just didn't expect to be going through this with both my parents at the same time

Hello Rachel I am so sorry to read your sad and anxious posting - never apologise for using this forum, that is what it is here for and, hopefully, you will get support (if not answers) along the way. I can't imagine what you are going through right now but I'm glad you found us and pray that we can be of some help.

Most people on this site have been affected in some way with mouth cancer and I know that a few also have experience of breast cancer. The word 'cancer' immediately conjours up thoughts of gloom and doom and you being a nurse will have first hand experience of people who have lost the fight. But fight we do and try to live life to our fullest potential. Lots of us have had more than one recurrence of the disease and we are still here 'to tell the tale'!!

Please let us know how your dad gets on - we pray that the results will be good news.

Take good care of yourself. with love Brenda

Brenda,....You are a Godsend for people on this site. Thank you!!! I am one!!T hank you for your experience!

Hi again

it's been confirmed today, my dad has a large tumour on his larynx and will need an op and radiotherapy, he's being sent to a different hospital this afternoon to see the cancer specialists to discuss the future and what they're going to do as up until now he has only seen the ENT consultants

On top of this, my mum has at most a year to live and we were all due to go on holiday this weekend for a week to Cornwall, my mum has said we will have to see what they say at the hospital as they may not be able to go now

I am hoping that they will be able to go as we are only going to be away for a week and I can't see week making much difference especially when this could be the last time we get to go on holiday as a family

devastated

how am I going to deal with this with both my parents

Hi Rach.

I can appreciate your predicament. However, I believe that, if it's at all possible, you have to be strong for yourself and your parents. It will only add to their suffering to see you suffering, although I'm sure that they realise the pain that you are going through.

Everybody has to say goodbye to loved ones at some stage in their life, but mostly people are not aware when that will be. I would suggest that you make the most of the time that your parents are with you - go for that holiday if it's possible - I'm not sure how quickly they will be able to arrange your father's operation, for instance.

How you deal with yourself in accepting the situation is a hard one. Some people have a shoulder to cry on, some people have religion, some people have this board - it's always good to share problems.

Some of the things I have written are easier said than done, I admit - but it's the only advice I can offer at the moment.

Hang in there - Pete