Don't ever give up hope! How many stories do we have on these boards that show life can and does go on long after we first heard that horrid word and our lives changed forever?
My love to you and your family. No doubt you're in for some tough times but amazingly, somehow we have all managed to come out the other side of those.
Keep positive and love each other to bits.
Love from Down Under
Deborah

Deborah, I'm never going to give up hope!!! We were at the cancer center today and we will be doing his treatment here at home. We found out today that it is going to be at least 6 weeks for Toronto. Not an an option. Today they made the mask for his face and measurements, another CT scan and blood work. The have decided not to remove the left toncils until after the surgery along with the lymph nodes in his neck.. This will be done only if the tumor shrinks. I and my husband are not going back down from this. I want to thank each and everyone that has responded to me and beleive me you all have helped me deal with this on one way or another. Your stories are amazing, and each and everyone has picked me up when I was at bottom. Thanks so much again. I will be spending most of my time from here in in at the center. Tomorrow he is having his feeding tube inserted. The only think he said is I can have a drink of RUM with the Pepsi....of course he made me smile once again as his humor is still there. Well I guess now we need to find humor in everthing around us like drawing a mustash on his mask....so again thanks for your support and I'll be checking back at a later time....Love to you all...from Linash...

Hello Group
Just an update. I am now working with the Dr's at MD Anderson Clinic in Orlando. My case was transferred here because it is closer to home. I have met with the radiation Oncologist and the chief Head and Neck Dr. They have reviewed the pathology and have decided on a 6 week treatment of Radiation. They have explained the treatment and the anticipated side effects. I know this will not be a picnic but it must be done. They have also hooked me up with a speech therapist and a nutritionist. I will also be seeing a mental health specialist to assist in dealing with the depression. We have applied for full disability but those of you in America understand that the timing on that is questionable. After all, it is a Government program.
Barb and I still maintain a positive attitude, but it is difficult some days to remain that way. Thanks to all who correspond here for providing a glimmer of hope and letting us know that we will survive this. i am forever in your debt.

Chuck

Hi Chuck
Good to hear from you and great that you have so much behind you. 6 weeks of radiation! Ugh. You're right, it's not going to be a picnic. It's tough but as you will have read many times on the forum, effects everyone to varying degrees. Believe me, it will be no time until you are looking back saying you can't believe those 6 weeks are over (that's how it has been for us twice now).
You have been through a very traumatic time,both you and Barb so be gentle on yourselves and allow yourselves to roll with the depression. It takes time to adjust to your new reality but you will get there ~ give yourself that time.
Onwards and upwards.
Love
Deborah

Hi Wingman51,I'm glad to hear that you are going to be doing your treatment closer to home. Its so important to have friends and family close by. My husband finally got his first treatment date. It will be Wednesday Oct 22, at 2:45. He is having 40 radiation treatments and 7 chemo...he has aggressive squamous cell carcinoma undifferentiated. The cancer is in his toncil, lymphnodes in his neck and he has two spots on his lungs.. We found out today that they plan to shrink the tumor's small enough so they can remove the toncils on the left side and also the nodes in is neck. Gerry is 48 and has been my rock for over 28 years...we went for a walk through the park the other night, feeding the ducks along the way, he looked at me and said: Linash, I have cancer but cancer does not have me. We are also keeping a positive attitude but I'm sure I'll still have days that my heart will break for him. Say Hi to Barb for me I know how she feels. We will all come out on top. I will add you both to my prayer's.

Hi Linash,
Do take a look at my story on the main page by clicking on 'Ananth's story' - hopefully it would help and you are most welcome to post and I will reply.
Lots of love to both your hubby and you,
Ananth

Thanks so much for directing me to you story. I hope my husband will be a brave you. The staging scares the hell out of me but I will stand beside him 100% in any decision he makes. He has already began treatment..He has only had two radiation treatments to date and is already loosing is saliva glands but lemom drops and water are helping. They plan to remove the lymphnodes in his neck after the treatment. His chemo begins on Tuesday. There well be 40 radiation and 8 chemo treatments in total. They have alread put in a feeding tube which is inserted into his stomach. I just don't no what to expect. When we asked the Dr's what Stage 4a means they really did not answer us and what the survial rate is. I'm been overloading myself from internet web pages and had to stop because it was bringing me down. I need to stay positive along with him. His attitude is unreal he said to me " I have cancer but cancer does not have me" I'm staying away from the internet and just using the forms here whenever I can. The stories and people that went through the same thing is much easier to swallow. Please keep in touch with me. Once again thanks so much...your my angel....Heather

Linash,

you have found a great place to come and learn a bit about this journey we are all on. each of us on here have different, but often similar experiences.

it is not a picnic, but one can read about others who have fought the battle and come out on top. i think it is much better than getting text book answers that the DOC's feed us. i know that is not really a fair comment, however, it is hard for one who has not travelled this road to understand what it is really like.

make sure that Gary has you post any questions on here which he might have.

wish him the best of luck.

later, pete

Thanks Pete, I cannot even begin think what he must be going through, along with the rest of the members here on this form that has had some form of head and neck cancer. Being on the outside looking in difficult, and I will come here from now on for support. I have asked him to join the form but he is not ready yet. I'm sure he will at some point. All have a great weedned,,I'm going to venture out today with him maybe go to the park...it is a lovely day here in Cape Breton Nova Scota and the leaves are all a bright red and yellow...the fresh air will do him good....

Linash, i can understand why Gary may not be ready to participate. i posted a few times and disappeared for a month and then another time for 3 months. it is hard for one to understand how difficult it is to read about the difficult life of some members. this is why i wasn't around on a few occassions. can get depressing. however, on the + side it gives one the opporunity for insight from an insider's perspective. allows us to be aware of obstacles on our way to recovery and the fact that members have significant medical issues, but still remain positive and offer their advice and support for the group.

so you are doing good.... reading and being able to pass info on to Gary. just make sure you post any questions he might have.

believe, the walk in the park is a whole lot different after being diagnosed. seems like one see things in a different light.... everything so beautiful...

Hi Linash,
I just read your replies to both Pete and I. I know its very frustrating when the doctors refuse to give you the full story. They only get down to it after you have lost your temper and shouted at one or two of them.
I know excatly what Gary is going through as I have been through the entire things also. In fact the line - "I have cancer - the cancer does not have me" is like a mantra and as long as he is that positive things should also move that way.
I was also diagnosed in stage 4 and its been eight years of living with this hell. In the bargain I have lost my power to eat or drink orally and have been on liquid feed through my stomach tube for the last eight years. Linash, the peg tube is a saviour as one thing which is certain - he cannot refuse his food(one tends to loose their appetite) as you just catch him - open the tube in goes the food. I dont know what you are giving him - but along the way - if you need any help regarding recipies you could use to keep hs weight constant do let me know and I will ask my wife Sonya, to have a chat with you and give you some tips.
Gary will do fine as he is confident about himself and ths will be a massive advantage to him.
Do keep in touch.
war regards,
Ananth

Hi Linassh, I think it fairly well understood that unless you have been through this type of journey then not a lot matters at the current time, and we certainly aren't very receptive to communication in most forms. I must say the doctors and health staff do know what they are doing these days, bit like replacing a wiring loom on a car. So although the journey is a tough one, there are so many success stories about now, such as on this site mentioning no names, and one can see just how many others are out there going through similar if not worse experiences.

One of the most harrowing aspects of recovery I have found is simply going for a check up, well an MRI scan. The emotional side I found most traumatic.

Therefore I must say that you somehow have to find an inner strength to keep going, and this seems to arrive just when you don't expect it. Life seems so shit, for so long, well 2 months for myself, until the recovery path becomes noticeable and you wake up feeling better.

Better is in fact a timescale, and when I mention 2 months, well I think the whole journey takes a lot longer, maybe a year. I am in month seven. With puttting on weight again, and learning to eat again, and having 6 weeks of speach therapy, alongside all the other appointments for teath, consultant and check ups and scans, this journey is going to continue certainly till end of this year. Hopefully then I am strong enough to go back diving. We are getting stronger week by week, just no rush now, think you will be fine too mate.
Keep in touch.

Nigel

Dear Mrs Linash, I sorry I got you addressed as Mr Linash. Take care you two, Nigel

Hello, no problem with the Mr....I've been called worse...we have a big week planned as far as treatment goes, but we will get through just like the rest of you courageous survivors. Trust me I feel much better reading and listening to your stories. As well I am trusting more in the doctors that have mapped out treatment. I will post on the site after his next few treatments. Thanks to you all for giving me the courage to say that it is going to be a long road but the results; "life and that's awesome"!!!! love to you all

Hello all: Its been sometime since my last visit. Wanted to wish each and everyone a Happy and safe Holiday. The weather here in Cape Breton, Nova Scotia is pretty much an old fashioned winter. Lets just say it is damn cold. Well, Gerry has finally completed his 35 radiation treatments, however, they had to discontinue his Chemo, as his blood counts to too low. He is struggling so much these days with the pain, and is still on the G-tube. He spent 3 weeks in the hospital and is now only home one week and he is right back to square one. We had the Doctor visit early this morning and I had to take him to the hospital for IV treatment with for med's. The Doctor is going to stop by again tomorrow and if he is not much better they will admit him again. This is not what I wanted for Christmas but I will stand by him not matter what, even if it means having turkey dinner in a hospital cafeteria. Well each and everyone a Happy New Year. Regards Linash