Hi,
I posted here last year when my Dad was diagnosed with T2 Mouth Cancer, the support was valuable in difficult times. My Dad underwent a 12hr operation to remove the tumour from his mouth, 1 week in intensive care, a further 10 days in hospital. Recovery has been slow but consultant appointments have always remained positive, until yesterday! Mum and Dad went to an appointment yesterday, Dad has another "lump" under his tongue, he will be going for a biopsy as soon as possible. If you talk to my Dad, he is a mess, he is convinced the Cancer is back and he is devestated, he has said that he cant go through another operation. If you speak to mum, she is positive, the consultant didnt actually say it WAS cancer, it could be something else. Last yeat it was the other way round and mum was a mess and Dad was positive but now Dad knows what to expect, he is scared. I dont know how I feel, my sister is very angry as my Dad has continued to smoke through his recovery. I'm in a bit of a horrible place right now :-(
Thanks for listening x

Hello Manta

It is normal to have all the different feelings being felt by the different people as described. What is important is to (1) not presuppose the lump is the cancer returned as often times it is not; (2) if it is cancer, treatment can be successful as several patients can attest, (3) this is not a blame game so don't blame your dad for smoking if it was the best way he could cope - he needs support not blame, (4)each one of you should support one another by being cheerful and celebratory of the lives you all have no matter how long or short it be for it has given you the opportunity to share the love you all have for one another. Living your lives well is what matters.

Be brave and cheerful and lead the rest to be so too.

Best wishes

Vinod

Hi Manta, sorry to hear about your dad. I smoked for 7 years after my diagnosis and it really upset some of the people around me but it shows what a powerfull drug nicotine is. I hope your sister isn't too hard on your dad about it but I get her point.
Any lump your dad finds is bound to set all alarm bells ringing so it's not surprising that he's freaking out. Try and be positive for them and I hope it works out ok. Hagg.

Hi Manta, dont forget its not cancer until you are told it is. Keep strong and hold together as a family. Lots of love to you and yours, david.