hi everyone
just to let you know why i have not been around,been back in hospital the the worst constipation i have ever had,it was so painful,i spent 2 weeks in there this time because i had mrsa in the bladder,but thankfully that has been cleared now with the help of some strong antibiotics.still having problems with eating,my n.g tube broke last week and i thought this was the time to try and eat but i could only manage 300-500 calories a day,so back to the n.g tube,i am having a peg fitted very soon i was booked in for 1st october but as i was in hospital it had to be cancelled.i just wish i had one taste bud thats all i'm not being greedy lol.oh well,good luck to you all on your journeys.love shirl xxx

Hi Shirl,
Sounds like you're having a real tough time of it at the mo.
I can empathise with the constipation. I never was regular, but combine that with morphine & fortisip. OH MY GOSH! I'd be in tears with nothing but a few grapes to show for it! It never really stopped til i was off the pain meds unfortunately! But daily lactolose helped. Just 5ml & 20ml if i was blocked
Your taste will improve. It all takes time. & dont be hard on yourself. You'll get there! promise!
Michelle

hi michelle
thanks for your reply not having a great time at present and now depression is setting in.i feel sorry for my wonderful husband in all this as he doesn't know what to do and there is nothing he can do except be there for me.which he always has been,i miss food so much i could scream.every advert on t.v for food gets me gong and those m & s ads are the worse.hope you are doing well michelle.love shirl xxx

Hi! Shirl
I can only agree with you in regards to food as I have momoents when the family is having a nice Roast or some of Debs special delights and all i have is 2CalNH and I get depressed and that makes Deb upset. The adds on the TV also do it to me, however as I am sure you oyourselfunderstand it is not for EVER and soon we will be stacking on the weight as we venture from KFC to Maccas to Hungry Jacks To Redroster ETC, ETC and thats on the first day.
I had a new peg fitted last week and that made a fantastic differrence to my feeding as the original was only half way in my stomach and was parcially blocked so it was bloody hard to push the feed in. The Doc didn't wont to replace it as it hadn't been in there long enough, but upon trying to put water through it he decided GOSH thats odd lets put another one in DOO'H.
Anyway Shirl hang in there I'll be thinking of you when we start fanging for real
Love TREV

hi trev
glad your peg is sorted for you now its so frustrating when it starts playing up.i am ashamed to say that i have started smoking again as a replacement for food and smoking makes me feel normal i cant decide what food i want to try first probably a lovely roast dinner with some spring greens would be my first coice them maybe a curry or pata oh just bring the lot on i'll try some of each lol.have a good day trev and thanks for your reply.love shirl xxx

Hi! Shisl
Sorry to hear that you have taken up smoking, that was something I never did apart from trying a puff when I was a Surfy back when I was about 16 but I couldn't do the drawback so tossed the fag away and never tried again. Anyway thats life, have you always smoked? it amazed Deb and I when we were leaving my Chemo and Radiation treatment the number of staff that were taking a break from work and lighting up a fag outside (its illegal to smoke indoors over here) after treating other people who had contracted cancer from there addiction to smoking, it just didn't gell with us. All my dreams of pigging out on Take away food was my wishes from earlier but since feeding trough my Peg my appetite has wained and I thing that I would or will struggle to eat a whole meal to begin with so I think I will enjoy one of DEbs fantastic roasts and then some yummy Lemon Bake withh cream and icecream. Deb and I try to eat at the same time so we stay together I cant get enough of the girl so we tend to be aroud each other constantly, she has been a real warrior and cant wait for me to get back to normal so that I can start doing some work around the house. Anyway hang in there Shirl
Love Yuh
TREV

Hi Shirl & Trev

Just a few months in front of you both, finished treatment in March.

I did not have a peg but had one of those nose things for around two weeks at the end of the treatment (hated the bloody thing).

Anyway it came out and that was it I had to start eating, not easy to start with so had loads of Ben & Jerry's ice cream which tasted like sh*t but it was full of cals, I suppose I lived off that and smoothies for about 4 weeks, also lots of avacados (high in cals and so they say a good cancer buster - didn't know that at the time).

Your taste buds will come back slowly but they will be different, red wine and beer tastes like you know what, so i don't drink. Now I like to eat the hottest curries, chillies in fact anything with a bit of spice, I have even started to bake my own bread which I like to eat warm with loads of butter.

At the start didn't think I would ever eat again, how things have changed, but you name it and I will try and eat it (within reason).

So Shirl don't give up you have to start very small amounts of food, use a blender to make it mushy ( not so easy with the nose thingy). As soon as you start eating real food the constipation will ease up.

Trev from the sound of it you will be up for it soon, don't do what I did and start with peanut butter I had to drink about a gallon of tea to move it.

Best wishes to you both.

Tony

hi trev
your deb sounds like a real gem and her lemon bake sounds divine i am lucky to have a fantastic supportive husband and like you and deb we are always together,it's hard for them too watching us struggle isn't it? i know what you mean about the staff smoking you would think it would put them off.i have smoked since i was 15 and i am now 54 but i had stopped for a year so what a silly mare i am eh? hopefully a couple of days and i will knock it on the head again.gotta go back to the hospital tomorrow as my n.g tube is blocked again,i am having nothing but trouble with the darn thing this past month,i will be glad to get the peg in.anyway take care,love shirl xxx

hi tony
thanks for the eating tips,i can imagine what a nightmare peanut butter was to get rid of though.i dont have much saliva a bit more than i had 3 months ago but still not enough,i have had this rotten nose tube in since march this year.i am having a peg fitted shortly and cant wait,i get fed up of folks staring at me like i am an alien or something.take care,love shirl xxx

Hi Guys
Just to echo what tony said i was the same a few months ago but have not any supplmentary drinks for a few months now

Regards
Dave and Sue

Just stop bragging Dave. You are doin so well

Dear Trev,
Am not just happy but elated with the news about your peg tube. I am also feeling hungry thinking of all the wonderful things you cook and that coming from a husband mean a lot.
Coming to smoking, I used to smoke 40 cigarettes a day and can honestly blame it on stress but at the same time it was also as I enjoyed the smoke. My oncoligist was always mad at me and I used to do all kind of thing to try and hid the fact that I smoked - but she would always know. Anyway,circumstnces are such that I cannot even stand the smell of a cigarette. I was called for an interview some time back on National TV and the question they posed to me was - if I would resume my smoking if I ever became 100% normal. Everyone was dumbfounded with my reply - I said yes. I was asked to give my reasons and I gave them plenty. The final one was that if I had not contarcted the cancer, I would not be sitting at the interview - I would be out partying and having few smokes. I got a lot brickbats from the hardcore folks who say they care for cancer patients but that has not bothered me and I loved the way - the president of the Indian Cancer Society told me that I had lost all their respect. I told her if I hav lost my respect for telling the truth - so be it and please not to use me as a front for their activities. Things changed overnight and I suddenly became a nice guy overnight.

Anyway - though I would I loved to have had food with Deb and you - as an invited or uninvited guest - I know its never ever going to be possible but I can actually feel the aroma.

My peg tube is on the verge of giving up and have decided to goin for something else withen the same parameters of the peg. A stoma button inserted the way a peg is - but closed with a flap and its flat on the stomach. One cannot even make out. I decided what the heck lets give it a go and it should be in by sometime next week. Will try and send you a photo of the same.

Some how, I have been able to mantain my weight but I def, know that its getting a little more tiring spending time out and saps a lot of my energy if I sped more then two to three hours loafing around. I have also cut down on my workouts and running as I was not able to keep it up but still try and workout as much as possible. I have decided to now set up a gym at my home and get the trainer here so that he can not just help me but also both my sons. Lets see how it goes.

Well - I guess thats all for now and the peg tubes. All I can add is that it has become a part of my lifestyle and wonder if I had been okay would I have gone in for a reconstruction - most probablby NOT! I have lived so long long without eating or drinking and guess can manage till such time permits.

Take care all of you and as usual let me end with all my love xxx and hugs to all the lovely women and hugs to the guys.
Ananth