I saw this site on look North and since Ive worked in dentists thought Id have a look....what a great website, I live in Dewsbury west yorkshire and have tried for ages to stop hubby smoking BUT he wont listen ......any ideas????

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Dr Vinod K Joshi,

Ok...guess no one wants to speak to me....bye good luck to everyone.

Lizzie, come back, of course we want to speak to you, but perhaps smoking is a sensitive subject for some of the members. who may never have smoked, but may have been insulted by medics asking "Do you smoke?" As 25% of oral cancers have an unknown aetiology, its a sore point with some.
Remember also, some of the forum members are from USA/Canada & are in a different time zone.
As for getting your Husband to stop smoking, you wont stop him, unless he wants to stop himself.It is an addiction & is difficult to stop.
One suggestion: If he smokes 20 a day, put the equivalent amount of cash aside every day if you can afford to.
At the end of one month, count up the amount & show him how much money is literally"going up in smoke" It may make him start to think.
If his health is being affected, work on that also, but gently. Nagging never works!It takes time but you will get there.

Hello Fran

Thankyou for saying "hi" to me.....sorry I didnt think about the smoking thing.....I can imagine its very upsetting...Ive got an irregular heartbeat and I got fed up with the doctors asking me how much I smoked....I dont!! as for hubby, your right, he has to want to give up. I try not to nag but you cant help but worry for them....anyway nice to chat with you fran!

I think if any smoker new or had the slightest idea of the pain involved with throat cancer, and the fact you can't eat, they would never dream of lighting up again. But then hey, I have never smoked and I got throat cancer, so what can I say, only that it is the most foul habit and it stinks every thing, with that stale old smell that says in your clothes and ages your face, but poeple are happy to shell out hard earned cash.

Hi Lizzie. You wrote: "Ive got an irregular heartbeat and I got fed up with the doctors asking me how much I smoked....I dont!! "

Sadly, you do, because your hubby is doing it for you. Unless he never smokes in the same space as you, you're being exposed to the same dangerous substances as he is.

The problem for many smokers is that they perceive snoking as something they've chosen to do, and therefore part of them, and that of course they like being themselves and will hear any criticism of their smoking as a direct attack on themselves as a person.

What's worse is that smokers have a much reduced sense of smell because they smoke, and simply can't smell themselves or their smoke in the same way that others do. Most smokers find it hard to believe that the rest of us sitting in the back of the bus can smell when a smoker gets on in front.

So they feel embattled, defensive and angry, and it's not helped by the fact that nicotine is also highly addictive and that the PR machine of the tobacco companies works overtime to suggest that smnoking isn't so bad really, that there is such a thing as a 'light' cigarette, that there's no firm evidence linking smoking with diseases, etc. etc. in the long litany of lies put out by Big Tobacco.

In a very real sense, your husband has been conditioned to react the way he's reacting. I wish I knew how to break that conditioning.

Hi Lizzie as Fran said the only way he will stop is if he wants to, once you've got passed that, try and get him some help - there are a load of support groups out there and also aids to stop smoking which is free on the NHS, like Zyban, patches etc...

Thankyou all for your replies

Your absolutley right philip and I make hubby smoke outside.....but if we go out for the evening Im usually stood next to him when he's puffing away.....I cant wait to wash my hair and clothes just to get rid of the awful smell ...it is truly a horrid habit.

Hi Lizzie

You will find a lot of information on how to stop smoking in the Smoking Tobacco section of the MCF website. Hope it helps.

Best wishes
Vinod (in sunny Crete)

Lizzie,

I quit smoking about 5 years ago after numerous attempts with the patch, zyban, acupuncture, nicotine gum etc.. How I finally succeeded was that my friend recommended a book to me. I thought why not, I will give it a shot. It is called "Easy Way to Quit Smoking" by Allan Carr.
Good luck.. Joanne

OH here we go nothing else to so get on the band wagon about smokers
Well let me tell you rather have a bunch of smokers than people who are drinkers they lose control, arguementive, attack people, rude and inconsiderate to anyone around them.
I get pissed hearing this about smokers try sitting next to a drunk for 14 hours on a plane!
that will change your mind

Paul

Joanne,

Well done. Anyone who stops smoking, difficult as it may be, deserves a pat on the back.

Regards, Fridge

Paul,

You wrote:

>I get pissed hearing this about smokers try >sitting next to a drunk for 14 hours on a >plane!

I'd hate it. But it wouldn't give me the submandibular cancer that smokers gave me.

Being drunk is always wrong, and if the drunk is driving they can kill someone. But smoking near anyone else that hasn't agreed to breathe in the poisons is also wrong.

Smoking near other people is actually an assault - it's time our laws were amended to reflect that fact.

Philip

REALLY Philip get a life mate


Paul
ps. off away Mon see you guys

from Effects of husbands' smoking on the incidence of lung cancer in Korean women :

quote:

During follow-up, 79 cases of lung cancer occurred among non-smoking wives (n = 157436). Wives of heavy smokers were found to have a higher risk of developing lung cancer. The husbands' smoking habits did not affect their wives' risk of developing other cancers such as those of the stomach, liver and cervix, but they did affect breast cancer, which has a significantly higher risk in relation to the longer duration of husbands' smoking.

So there appears to be a slightly increased risk for lung cancer, but not for mouth cancers. I haven't been able to find that evidence.