hi my name is amy and im 24years old. ive only just found this site despite being treated for cancer of the tongue 18mths ago. i view myself as very lucky as i only had surgery (although horrible it was)and in comparison to others i am very grateful. initially i coped well and have moved on with my life considerably. more recently though i have found my confidence has substantially dropped particularly when in new situations and am particularly self conscious of my mouth. i wandered if anyone else has found this. i have never spoken to or met anyone who has had the same cancer and surgery as myself.

Hi Amy,
Welcome to the forum. The reason you have not met anyone else who has had the same cancer as you is because it's really rare. In England only 280 people were diagnosed with cancer of the base of the tongue in 2003, of which 70 were women and there weren't any in your age group. For the same year 811 people were diagnosed with cancer of other parts of the tongue, and 314 of these were women, with only one in the 20-24 age group. You were extremely unlucky to get this sort of cancer, but incredibly lucky that it was spotted, as I don't think that it is what the GP first suspects. How was yours picked up?

My cancer was on my Tonsil, and I had a normal Tonsillectomy, followed by Chemo and radio. The surgery was fairly easy, especially by the standards of some of the people on this forum. But I'm only now recovering from the effects of the radio and chemo, although others seem to pick up much more quickly.

I think we all have ups and downs associated with the aftermath of the treatment. Self confidence is definitely something I have been lacking, and I am only building it back up very slowly. For me I think that part of this is due to the uncertainty about my identity. Apart from a few years off to raise my son, I have always worked, and this was a major part of who I was. Having taken the last year off, I had classified myself as a cancer patient, and I am now looking at returning to work and changing my self-image. Changing your life, as you say you have done, can have dramatic effects on your self-esteem.

If you are finding yourself very self-conscious then would it help to build up your self confidence if you joined a group which had similar interests to yours. I went to a patchwork and quilting class for a few months after my treatment, to get myself out of the house and meet other people. It also helped that I met people I hadn't known before, as they had no pre-concieved ideas about me. At that time I had very thin hair, was still not wearing any makeup, and still had quite a lot of swelling on my face, so I would have found it difficult to go into a social situation with people who had known me before the treatment.

Anyway, I am sure there are others on this forum who have had similar treatment to yours, who can help you more than I can, but I just wanted to let you know that someone out here is listening.

Hi Amy just sitting down and looking though site and found your message, I had surgery for tongue cancer in October 05, I am some what older than you at 43 and my life is pretty much settled, I can only image what effect it would have effected me if I had at a much earlier age.

I have on occasions encountered a few problems with people not understanding me particularly on the telephone and that can be a bit frustrating, the surgery did not leave me too scared but occasionally I catch the eye of some one staring but it doers not effect me, they are usually only curious

I have thrown my self into fundraising and charity work and found this a good way to meet very nice and caring people, also they are new fiends who have never meet me before so they take me as I am.

I have web site www.johnmcvey.co.uk and my story is on their about my treatment and you will see if it is similar to yours.

Hope you have a very merry Christmas and happy and healthy new year.

John

Hi Amy,
I am also new to this site and thought I would post you a reply because I am almost the same age as you - 26 - and have also had tongue cancer. It was diagnosed in July and I have since had surgery, radiotherapy and chemotherapy. I know I am one of the youngest patients my surgeon has treated and he has been involved in head and neck cancers for more than 25 years. It is still early days for me as I only finished treatment two weeks ago, but I can understand why you might be feeling self-conscious. It is hard for us mouth cancer patients because the scars and side effects are often so obvious and can't be hidden away, but I feel really strongly about not hiding myself away and getting back to normal life. Anyway, just thought I would let you know you aren't alone. Keep smiling!

Hello Amy

I am new to this forum.

You might find my story encouraging 'Safe In The Shadow' www.brownstar-publications.co.uk

Hi Susana and Jonmac, Read my Story and has the saying goes been there done that still there lol

Paul