Ideally, the earlier the treatment starts the better. The delays are due to the logistics of arranging the treatment when resources are shared. Presidents and prime ministers and millionaires don't wait as long. But even then, every case is different. I remember well my experience three years ago of seeing two ladies with cancer of the tongue on the same day. One had been diagnosed by her dentist and fast-tracked into the system for treatment while the other had ignored her ulcer to take six months visiting family abroad. The first who did all the right things did not survive while the second lady is doing well and has also survived her husband who came with her at her first visit.

Message: "Enjoy the simple pleasures that each day brings for we are all terminal and our disappearance dates are unpredictable. "

Thanks Dr. Joshi. That's also my concern that the Chemo Dr. and the R/T Dr. are not both from KP (KP has to contract out to John Mire's Hospital for Radiation part because they don't have their own facility to do Radiation yet. So like you said, it might takes time for the information to share. So do you think one week to put the plan together is reasonable? or did I push it too hard?

Hello, my name is Barb. The wife of a very dear friend email me a few days ago saying my friend has tongue cancer and asked me to write him. My friend, Steve, moved to Costa Rica a few years ago and married a wonderful woman and is now the pround father of two young children. My husband and I have been friends with Steve for over 30 years.
Steve wrote me last Feb. that he was having trouble swallowing but went to a doctor, taking meds and everything would be just fine. Apparently it's not fine. I was getting kind of worried that I hadn't heard from him in more than a month (we usually email several times a week), when his wife sent me that message.
I guess my question to all of you is, what do I say to him? This man has a heart of gold, and my husband and I love him dearly. I've been digging out old pix and plan on sending them. What else do I do? Thank you, in advance, for any information you can give me. barb

Barb i would say,
Just be normal!
Treat him as you would but acknowledge his illness.
I hated people tiptoeing round me. Treating me differently to my sisters and pussy-footing around!
He's still your good friend!
& he knows you love him i'm sure!
Be there when he needs you & listen.
But i think if he's anything like me he wouldn't want you behaving in anyway other than normal.
I wish him luck in his treatment.
Michelle

Hello Barb

We all feel stuck, maybe almost paralysed, when a friend of ours receives some bad news (even if things later work out much better than we feared at first). To put it simply, we often want to help but don't know how. Please have a look at Lost for Words - how to talk to someone with cancer and the other links on the MCF website.

Best wishes
Vinod

Hi all,

I am sorry that I could not keep up with the communication for a while during LT's treatment and I missed all of you but it was just a little overwelming to handle all these Radiation and Chemo at the same time.

My husband LT has one more week to finish the treatment, 3 cycles of Chemo (last one this Wednesday) every 21 days and 35 Radiations. The Oncology took us that he will have to go through "Implant" as well, and as far as we understood it from the Doctor, it is like a surgery except that the tongue won't be remove instead, they willl be puttinging radioactive material to treat the tumor itself. LT thinks it has a lot of long-term effects to do this and it is risky as well since they will have to open up the air way just in case complication during the procedure. The doctor said it will not be up to us if we want to do it or not, it is a "must" because it is too late to increase the dose of Chemo or Radiation at this time.

Does any of you had the "implant" before? Can you give me some words of wisdom on this?

Your group now unfortunately has yet another member. Don't know how much assistance I'll be able to provide, as mine is in the advanced stage.. For me, it initially popped up while I waa un insured and between jobs. First day of health coverage I was in the PCP's office to have it looked at. So I walk in the door with what I thought was an oversized cancer sore, to a huge cancerous tumor that had gotten to 4 cm by 2 cm. (1/2 of my tongue was nothing but cyst - still is.)
Surgery has been immediately scheduled, and I tip my hat to the medical community. The've responded to this at light speed. Since I'm only 39 and healthy, docs say I have a better than average chance of surviving this. But the pain, tests, procedures, etc... that all of you have gone through are being lived by me. Everything up to and including a partner doing everything she can to end our relationship, as she's openly admitted that she doesn't want to deal with this.
It's hard, as cancer has already cost me my job, and relationship within 3 weeks of being diagnosed. I'm 1000 miles away from my nearest family member. Cannot work right now, and being threatened with getting thrown out on the street.

I am very sorry to hear that Todd. I knew what you have been through. It is very tough for me as the spouse not to mention to the patience. I don't know what I can help but just keep praying for you and I am sure that you have to remember that you have a long life ahead of you, even it will be bumpy, but keep you head up. Things will get better!

Hello Todd,

Welcome to the site. At 39 your story is poignant, young enough to survive and time to adjust to the change surgery will inveitably make to your lifestyle. I cannot speak for your partner but would feel very hurt and rejected if that happened to me, which fortunately did not occur, but it took my wife the best part of 18 months to come to terms with the new look, a hole in my neck through which I breathe and a new voice which although intelligible can sound gruff and threatening if the listner is not aware of my surgery: removal of the larynx.

Being on your own and facing such invasive, radical treatment cannot be easy but you will find a responsive ear here and many who have already trod the path that you are about to step on.

My wife has recently been diagnosed with a base of tongue tumour a biopsy will be performed next week, but it does not look good as she has had tumours in her neck already confirmed malignant. She is 60 disabled with emphysema and a history of heart disase which rule out surgery as an option. Her prognosis when we get it cannot be expected to be positive although she is very brave - partly because surgery was ruled out. My wife has a long standing prejudice against surgery in cancer cases despite my success (operated on in 1995): so not being forced to make a decision was a relief for her.

You have a lot going for you Todd and what has been destroyed can if necessary be put behind you and new relationships forged into the future, you will still be the same person following treatment, same mind, heart and soul. If in time your partner can come to terms with what has happened to you then you will have to think if you could forgive her for what she has already done.

When thinking about that it is wise to understand that this afflication has no respect for position, creed or culture and its victims are not limited by any means to the patients but also their extended family and friends.

I pray for you that you will find the courage to face your treatment and subsequent recuperation and rehabilitation that you will find that you may retrun to your career or if not that you will find an alternative which will ultimately satisfy you. In your hour of need and absent of immediate love or companionship may you know the grace of Christ and the infinite and unconditinal love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit, now and evermore Todd. This I pray in the name and with the authority of Jesus Christ, AMEN.

Alan

Sorry to hear your news Todd. Try and keep your chin up and stay in touch. Hagg.

Hi friends,

Can someone give me some ideas on "implant" (internal radiation on tumor)? I was wondering (posted message yesterday) if anyone here has gone through the "implant" that I can talk to to get some information. Thanks.

Hello Help

Try this link for more information: Brachytherapy

Best wishes
Vinod

Hello Todd

Please try this link: Financial Help (U.S.A)

Hope you find some help.

Best wishes
Vinod

Hello Todd,
I apologise for not having joined the fray to this unique club, which makes you feel better with each passing day. I am really sorry to read about your tryst with cancer and particularly with the aftermath regarding you partner. Jobs are available and life will continue - its upto you how you want it to go. Luckily you have age on your side and as the doctors said your chances of hitting out at the cancer were high - I would say very high.

Lonliness can be terrible and I guess we all understand this.Its the way you make friends during the period you need that is important and as I said -you have all those friends right here.You can talk about anything and you will get replies which may help you to decide the best way you could turn your life around to earning well and possibly getting a person in your life who understands you.Cancer is a very ruthless old friend of mine and always tends to spring up when one does not need him as he has done so in my case. Though I do not have a fixed time limit to live the thing is spreading and there is nothing anyone can do anything about it. However, that is life and its what you make out life determines your happiness or depressions. One thing I would like to tell you would be- try and stop thinking about the past bad memories and just let the happy ones remain and concentrate very hard on realising those days are all gone and nothing you or I can do - will they return. There is, however, no stopping you from well understanding the present and plan the future accordingly.

Take care,
Ananth
PS : I was 42 when my friend cancer came visiting the first time around.

Dear Jian,
After reading your post, I luckily met an oncologist who too if flying out to KL on the same flight and I asked him about the same. From what I gather is that instead of keeping LT in the hospital (which is an expensive proposition), he can be treated as an out patient. They implant the medicines that he would have to normally take in the hospital concised and implant it into the body. It will release the medicine according to the amount prescribed. The idea is to let a patient feel better and that in turn helps cure faster.

Tell LT, I have been thinking of him and I wish you both a lot of love and a couple of bear hugs with some kisses for you.

Ananth