Hi everyone, my Name is Jason I am 27yrs old I have three young sons aged 8yrs/7yrs and 3yrs old. I have been with my Fiancee for 10yrs and We are getting married on Saturday 16th August But i was Diagnosed with Mouth Cancer on the 13th august and as you can imagine our world as fallen apart.
The hardest part as been not telling our families yet because we dont want that to be the topic of discussion at our wedding, though we have told my Mum and her Parents but no one else and i have a large family of seven siblings and alot of older nieces and nephews and alos my partner has 3 sisters.
we have opted to tell them on the sunday after the wedding while all the family are still together before the return to their different parts of the country.
what we cant get our head around is how it is so random I don't smoke never have and I drink very little alcohol maybe twice a month and never binge drink sometimes i dont drink for months.
I am so mixed up i am not sure wether i should be happy (i'm getting married) or sad (i have this diagnossis).
by the way i stumbled across this site while researching how to tell loved ones about cancer.

sorry my diagnosis should have read 12th August

Hi Jace, welcome to the group that no one wants to belong to. This is a great group of people though and you'll find loads of support on the site.

I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I know it'll be in the back of both of your minds during your wedding nuptials, but do try to make it the special day that it is and try to put your worries behind you for the day. I know it's difficult though. I was diagnosed with oral cancer on the 11th of this past April. My husband & my anniversary was the 24th. We tried not to let it get us down, but we did have to cancel our anniversary plans (vacation) and another vacation also.

I do believe along with my doctors though that I have beat it and so will you!

I hope your wedding is all that you both dreamed it to be.

Best Wishes, Cricket

Hi Jace

Mazel Tov! May you have many happy years together!

I got my news on December 23 2004--what a happy Christmas that was. (Doesn't exactly compare to a wedding or anniversary but it still sucked!) my sister was the first one to ask me if I had cancer--and all I'd said was that I had a sore under my tongue. I have since become a firm believer in the adage "joy shared is joy doubled, problems shared are problems halved." You might be surprised, Jace, at how many of your relatives already know that something's wrong. Please sleep on it, pray on it before you decide to call off the wedding.

Let us know how things turn out--I've never thrown e-rice before.

Julia

hi jason,what a absolutely rotten thing to happen.to get devastating news of cancer is bad enough but to be diagnosed 4 days before your wedding,well.i am speechless.just let me say i am glad you have found this site,you will get a lot of support here and whatever you are going through then we have been there and can help with tips etc.please keep us posted on your progress wont you.you have made a lot of new friends on the site that nobody wants to belong to but now you have we will help you through this awful time.love shirl xxx

Hello Jason,
I think it's called 'sods law' that this should all happen at once!
There really isn't any justice, and i'mso sorry for you all.
I think you should make a point of enjoying your day on saturday, as you're right in saying that it will be the focus of the day.
Eventualy you'll have to resign to the fact that you may never know the why's or whats, or ever get reasons to why you got cancer. If you don't you'll go crazy searching for answers you'll never find(i nearly did myself)!
From now on you'll be swept up in this roller coaster ride, there may be some hard times ahead for you all. But very often this story has a happy ending.
Keepus updated, and we're all here with our experiences if you need help!
Have an amazing day tomorrow.
All the best,
Michelle

hi jason

sorry to hear your story and not much i can add to what has already been said. We all know how you are feeling and what you are going through so you are amongst good friends, and you will get loads of support from this site. best of luck tomorrow.

I hope all goes well with your wedding, you should make the most of your special day and take those memories through with you into the tough days ahead.

My husband was diagnosed April this year with tonsil cancer and has finished treatment now. He was really worried about telling his family as he was concerned about that his mum couldn't cope with the news, but I managed to persuade him he had no choice, she would have known something was up! And it's so true a trouble shared is a trouble halved, another reason to visit this site.

All good wishes for this weekend and your treatment ahead.

Joanne

Thank you all for your kind responses,
firstly i have managed to fill my days with other stuff as to take my mind off it a bit but the at night all i do is worry for my partner and children.

they have given me a date for a MRI and Ultrasound scan which is 26th AUgust so an going to try and enjoy my wedding and honeymoon.

I will not be able to post now untill after my wedding as you can imagine am very busy with last minute stuff but will post asap, thankyou all agian for you kind words

I am most worried about the prospect being disfigured by surgerey and scaring my little boy and also the fact that th man who raised me as his own was diagnosed with cancer 2 days after my first son was born and he was told he had a good year or so but died two weeks later.

i try not to dwell on the goom bu sometimes it hard not to think of anything else.

Hi Jace
In the face of such awful news, take heart in the fact that you have found THE best place for support and advice.
There is no good time to get the terrible news you've been given but the timing of yours is pretty bloody awful.
You are about to embark on a journey that involves a lot of 'waiting' ~ you will always be waiting for something. Appointments, results, procedures, treatment. It is frustrating and at times distressing. Your first 'wait' of the cancer trip for you is the one til Sunday. That being said make the most of your wedding day that you have both waited (there's that word again!) for for a long time it seems. Make it even more special and live for that moment, Sunday will put your lives into a different reality that will take on it's own momentum.
While a diagnosis just a few days before your wedding seems cruel, you could also see it as giving another dimension, purpose and depth to your relationship. Love madly and deeply. Enjoy every moment you are blessed with Jace and when the battle lines are drawn go on in with all guns blazing. Your attitude and that of those around you is what will help you all get through some tough times ahead. Take things one step at a time. You won't believe me when I say that it won't be all that long before you are celebrating the end of your treatment.
Best of luck to you all. Have a beautiful wedding and a great honeymoon.
Love from Down Under.
Deborah

Hi Jace

Know you probably won't see this before your wedding but just to say I hope you have (had?) a wonderful day.

It was such rotten news to get just before what should have been one of the best days of your life (and I hope it still will be). But you do have the rest of your life to look forward to together and, as Deb says, treatment will be over before you know it.

Will be thinking of you on Saturday and afterwards.

Love
Gwyn

Hello Jace

Take things one at a time. Have a great wedding first. Having a mouth cancer is not the end of the world. It will be tough but you will make it and we will be here to support you.

Hopefully the sun will be out for you both this weekend.

Best wishes
Vinod

Hi Jace

sorry you have had to find us. I hope the wedding went well and that you still enjoyed the day. It certainly isn't the end of the world just a new chapter in your book of life. You will get through and you will get so much support from this site. Thinking of you Mum
xx

Wishing you a WONDERFUL day with your loved ones!!

Hi Jason,

I hope you had a fantastic wedding. Sorry to hear your news. I too was worried about being disfigured and scaring my boys and in truth they did look abit scared when they visited me after my neck dissection (and in fairness I did look like the bride of frakinstien at first - held together by staples lol)BUT...... I think this whole experience has been good for them.I have 2 boys - Billy 13 and Jack 9. Bily is usually a very selfish teenager (as many are) but I have seen some real signs of maturity this year from him. (although at this moment in time he is doing my head in!!!!)I have had moments of huge guilt forputting them through this but people always say that it has made them grow as human beings and I have too agree!

Right off to kill him now - grrrrrrr!

Love Chloex