A support group is new to me. I've never needed one before. I was diagnosed with Squamous cell cancer at base of Tongue 2 weeks ago and I'm scared. I have great support from all my friends and family, plus husband has been fantastic, but I feel as if I have to be the one with the positive attitude and be strong for everyone else while inside I'm a mess. Has anyone else felt this way?? I'll just start off my conversation with that guestion, but loads more on my mind. Thanks for listening!

hi cricket and anyone else who finds themself in this frame of mind!

you are in exactly the same boat as me and i share your feelings entirely. Everyone around me says i'm so brave and strong but they dont know about the fear i really have and the tears i cry in hard times. i too was diagnosed with squamous cell cancer on the side of my tongue exactly one month ago.

i have since had major surgery which has removed the side of my tongue and a neck dissection to see if there was further spread to the lymph nodes. There was evidence of spread so now i'm gearing myself up for a course of chemo-radiotherapy.

talking to other people who really know how you are feeling is a massive help, but finding them is hard so i hope i can find some comfort on this site! I will

hi and welcome to the site as someone said in another post this is the website no one really wants to belong to.but you will get much support on here believe me,so any questions fire away and someone will have bound to have been in the same situation.we also have our lovely resident dr on here who is a mine field of knowledge in head and neck cancers.i had base tongue cancer early last year,had chemo and radiotheraphy i wont say it was a walk in the park because it wasn't.and i am still suffering side effects from the treatment,but the main thing is i am in remission.what treatment is planned for you,do you know yet?please keep us informed of your progreaa because we are all rooting for you.love shirl xxx

Hi,
It's very hard to live up to isn't it, being positive and strong!
Family, friends have been great and very supportive. New people I meet, when they find out why I look and sound like this, always make comments on how strong I must be.
Ha bloody ha!!! They have not (family, friends and others) been around in the early hours of the morning when I've been sobbing my heart out, or wishing I was someone else, anyone else but me!
For a large part of it, I think all of us who have gone through any sort of treatment go through the same thing. We try to be strong for those who love and care about us, sometimes to the extreme where it is not good for us.
If it's any help, the way I got round it, when I was really down and did not want to worry everyone about how I was feeling, I spoke to a cancer counciller. Believe it, these people have heard it all already, anger, worries, hopelessness seen the tears and snot . If you have access to a similar service, use it. It lets you talk and discuss your worries without you feeling guilty about putting extra pressure on your husband/partner/family/friends.
Of course there is the added fantastic facility of coming on site here. One massive additional family who understands how you feel.
Good luck with the treatment and keep in touch.
SusieR

Hi Cricket and bianconeri, I felt exactly the same when I was diagnosed as you do now. Being strong and coping on the outside and falling to bits inside.
When I look back on it I think it was just a way of getting through the initial stages of the diagnosis and treatment. If I hadn't needed to put on the pretence for everyone else I would have had more time and excuses to sit and feel (more)sorry for myself. Worrying about my friends and family gave me less time to worry about myself.
That's just my perspective on it but hope it helps in some way.

thanks to you all, iam already finding this site really useful. the hardest part is staying strong in front of my kids who are all quite young (13,11 and 3!) the youngest keeps asking me every day if i'm better yet it breaks my heart but its also giving me strength, i suppose, to try and get through it. you have to try and get the motivation for the fight from anywhere you can i have some very positive moments where i feel like "bring it on" but then the rollercoaster turns the other way and i find myself falling apart.

im glad i found this site though because its very easy to think you are completely alone.

thanks for being here!

Hello Cricket and Bianconeri

Welcome to the family. You are not alone.

I am here too when not visible

Best wishes
Vinod

Hello Bianconeri, I'm so sorry to hear of illness but welcome to the 'family' who understand how you are feeling and can help and support you through all this. I too had part of my tongue removed and a neck dissection (plus lots of other stuff too!) I see you are from Newcastle, which is where I had my surgery, at the RVI. You are a young person with a young family and it is hard to be strong all the time, although we all try to be brave for the sake of the family but privately we can be falling apart.

As you have already discovered, this forum is the place where we can say it as it is, at any time of the day or night. We can sound off or ask for help, no matter how simple or crazy or worrying it might be - someone has been there before us and will be able to give support.

All good wishes and keep in touch.

Hello Cricket! Welcome to a most supportive and informative group!. My hubby just completed treatment for base of tongue cancer, undergoing chemo/radiation for a T2, stage III lesion (he's also a Chicago native!)... just sending some positive thoughts your way as we just received news that his post treatment scan shows absolutely no abnormalities.. no residual anything!... so we are of course very excited indeed... not to minimize the side effects that continue at this point two months after completion of radiation, but it's amazing how enormous a positive attitude can affect your handling the entire event. I wish my best for your upcoming choice of treatment. You can do this!!!
Nancy

Thanks all! It's great to know there are others who understand and you all really made me feel better and very welcome to the group! All words of wisdom are always welcome! Cricket

hi Brenda! I'm not actually from Newcastle i live in Northumberland now but for some reason I always say I'm from Newcastle! As it happens, I grew up in Whitley Bay and my parents still live there. I will be staying there for a few days each week during radiotherapy to save on the travel costs and to let my partner get back to work! My surgery was actually at the Freeman and I have to say the surgical team were very good. It's so reassuring to have spoken to someone from Whitley Bay who has been through this!
Thank you

Hi Cricket and Bianconeri,
Though not to happy to welcome you as members (who wants to be a member of a cancer forum?), I must welcome you to this exclusive forum where the love and support you will recieve is fantastic. Everyone here is as it goes -" one for all - all for one". Everyone tries to raise the happiness of anyone who who needs it and not just by talking about the illness - but with humor as well, which helps in having a good laugh and forget things for a while.

Once again - welcome to our very special club.

Ananth

Cricket -keeping in view of you being American - I spelt humour as humor!!!!

Hi bianconeri If I can help at all when you start your radiotherapy or at any time really just email me: brenda.brady@consil.co.uk I hope you are going from strength to strength. Brenda