Hi all, recently moved back to UK to look after my aging father - unfortunately I have been diagnosed with stage 3 tonsil / tongue base cancer. To top it off he has been diagnosed with cancer in his abdomen and will be undergoing surgery 26/10 a few days prior to my treatment starting - boy when it starts raining eh !

Hi there and welcome to the forum.What a terrible sequence of events you are facing ,and i do hope you have other family members to give you the help and support you will surely need to face the coming weeks and unfortunately months.

How old is your Dad? have you got a care plan in place for him,and what treatment are you going to have.Whatever treatment you will be undergoing there is no way you can care for your father while you are going through it,in fact you will need a care giver yourself.The cancer road is not one you can travel alone,let alone look after someone else.

I am so sorry for the circumstances you find yourself in and i hope you will find help and support from being a member of this group.

love liz

Hi ngary,
I recall a saying - "well, thats another great mess you have got me into!!!!". I am really sorry to hear about how things are moving in your life and the mere fact that you seem to have taken things in a positive manner - may be just the thing that is going to be of great help.
One thing though - I would like to tell you is that here on this site you have found some of the loveliest and most wonderful people you will ever meet. Cookey has already welcomed you and soon there will be all there to chat with you and share all your problems as almost all have been through some kind of a fight against the Cancer and can relate to you.
I truly feel bad for you. Its not easy to look after a cancer patient when you too are going to begin your treatment for the same illness. I hope( I do not pray!!) you will both emerge from this trauma well and fast. It would be great to hear that part - that both of you are doing well.
Do write down all your feelings, anger etc. as we are all used to it and try our best to comfort you.
Take care and warmest of regards,
Ananth

Hi there
So sorry to to read your story. You are going to need to be incredibly strong and positive and the most helpful piece of advice I could give you at this time is to contact your local Macmillan Community Team nurses. They will come to see you and they are so kind, efficient and caring that they will go through and sort out all your problems and concerns. Take up all the help you can get. Depending on where you live, it may be freely offered or you might have to find it and ask for it. I'm sure the guys on this site will be a great support. Please keep us informed of your progress and my best wishes to both you and your Dad.
Regards
James.

Thank you to my new extended family - I can see just how supportive you all are.

I had 5 teeth removed today at the Dental Hospital - I feel much better than I anticipated. Im waiting now for the PEG and to be measured up for the mask - whats the procedure for it ??

XX Gary

Hi Gary
Glad to hear you will be having your feeding tube fitted early on. Through hospital cock-ups they actually forgot to put mine in, leaving me in a bad way, hospitalised and eventually with MRSA. If you go to the main page, click on find and look for PEG or mask you'll find a lot of information. I don't think you'll find a single person on this site with anything nice to say about the mask. But I used to watch dear sweet old ladies in their seventies totter into the treatment room to have this thing bolted on and I just thought if they can do it so can I! You'll be OK, but it is a slow haul. Keep strong.
Regards
James

Hi James,
You know I have been on peg feed for seven years and in fact completed my aniversary on the 10th. of October - seven years without eating anything solid or drinking even water. My peg tube has been a blessing, as not only have I managed to keep my weight upto its mark but it has also held up well when I work out in the gym.
I was asked by doc. sometime back before the reoccurance if I wanted to chance a construstion of a new food and air passage. They would do this by grafting skin from my arms and could not give me a time frame as to how long it would take. I was also told that with all the problems I had faced in the initial stages of the cancer with all the infections, the overdose of radiation etc.there were chances that the whole exercise may just be useless as the passage may just collapse. This was when I decided to keep my peg on as I had already got used to the alternate lifestyle and what I tried to do was modify it as much as possible. I came up with a new "tube" available in the UK, US or Australia called "Passport low profile gastrostomy button". Its by Cook and fits very neatly, flat on the stomach, in lieu of the original long tube. I decided to give it a go and got it from Spain. Its really comfortable and keeping the circumstances in view much better looking as my tube is permanent.
Love,
Ananth

Hi Gary,welcome to the site. Good luck for the coming weeks. You'll find answers to most of your questions here. Hagg.

Wow, your right, it is pouring for you at the moment!! I do hope you have some good support around you because I'm sure there will be days you can't help your dad as well due to your own treatments. When I read posts like yours I wish I could be there to help the people who need it, but you are in my thoughts and prayers and I'm so pleased you have made contact with this website. Take care and regards to your dad.
Tracey