Well done you and the team who have taken the time and the trouble to help your dad come to terms with his understandable fears,and good luck to your dad xx

Hi Joe,
I'm pleased to hear that you and your Dad have overcome your fears enough to go ahead with the surgery. From what you have said, the operation could well be straightforward, as there doesn't seem to be any spread. Mine had spread to the roof of my mouth and my lymph glands so my surgery was pretty invasive. Having said this, I was eating soft foods around a month after the surgery and normal foods within about 8 weeks. Like people have said, everyone is different and I still truly believe that a positive outlook helps so much. Good luck to you both, and we'll all be thinking of you and waiting to hear how well your Dad is doing. Take care.
Dian x

Hi Jo,

Really pleased for your dad and yourself. Hope it all goes well and good luck. Keep in touch and let us know how things are going with your dad.

regards

Ken

Hi Jo

I am really pleased that your Dad is going ahead with the surgery. Tell him we are all thinking of him. Both of you keep positive its a good thing to do and it really does help in your recovery.

I am doing really well, I am managing to eat most foods, my speech is doing really good also.

I have just had a weekend away with my husband and some friends and played crazy golf, got a hole in one! Hows that! couldn't do that b4 my surgery lol!

Keep smiling and good luck.

Keep in touch

Ann x

Hi Guys

Well unfortunately my dad has once again declined the surgery, he is convinced they are using him as guinea pig to do experimental procedures on him and no amount of reassurance can convince him otherwise.I feel at this stage we are one step forward 2 back it is now 6 weeks since his diagnosis and we are no further on with treatment. Origanally the surgeon said Radio/Chemo wouldnt be an option because of where the tumour is so i really dont know where we go from here. He is in constant pain and on double morphine twice a day and oramorph throughout the day so this is only going to get worse, i feel like i am banging my head against a brick wall!!!......Does anybody know what Radio actually involves, the nurse said it would be 3 weeks for 5/10mins a day, he is now stressing over the fact he could lose his hair. I really dont know what to do next...Jo x

Hi Jo,
I have been reading your posts about your dad and you must be in turmoil. I myself was in the same situation with my mum when she was diagnosed with tongue cancer back in May. My mum is 78 yrs old and is doing so well, this may be encouragement for your dad, to know someone older and very frail, nothing of her only weighs 6 stone due to cancer and the fact she couldnt eat for weeks too much in pain, she has come through it, removal of more than half her tongue, lymph glands neck dissessction, and flap of skin from her leg for her tongue reconstruction.

Im not saying, it hasnt been easy to watch your loved one going through all this, but the change in her is tremendous, none of the mouth pain like your dad has got, she was on high doses of morphine and oromorph which knocked her about and didnt kill the pain. She had her operation on 30th June and is looking so good, back to herself now apart from the eating. Her speech is good also, the only setbacks has been her peg tube, she hasnt had much luck with that, but this is uncommon we have been informed, but she still needs it at the moment.

I do hope your dad re-considers, because he must be in terrific pain, my mums mouth pain that shot up her jaw to her ear stopped as soon as her operation was over. My mum wouldnt have been here now without the operation.

Shirley

Hi Jo

Unfortunately, a lot of people are of the "I have my mind made up, don't confuse me with the facts" when it comes to medical treatment, and it's usually because they knew someone who had the same or a similar disease many years ago when treatment was barbaric at best. Heck, if I'd been around when my grandfather was treated EXTREMELY unsuccessfully for throat cancer, I probably would have turned the docs down utterly.

Shirley, I had ear pain that I wouldn't wish one anyone. When I woke up after surgery I smiled bigger than I'd smiled in MONTHS because the pain was gone. "And there was much rejoicing!"

I hope everything turns out well.

Julia

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Julia,

Hi All...Just to let you know the situation with my dad after refusing his surgery he as now decided enough is enough and he is now going to have it, today was decison day for him where the surgeons needed to know whether it was going to go ahead, and after waking up screaming in agony he as realised that no amount of pain killers will get rid of this nasty diesease and the tumour needs to come out, they did offer him 4- 6 weeks of Radiotherapy but told him it would not cure him where as the surgery is curative.He is scheduled for the op on 20th OCT so i will let you know his progress in the meantime thanks for your comforting words and advice. Jo x

Hi Jo, glad your dad is opting for the surgery. It's got to be best in the long run. Good luck to him for the 20th. Stay strong, Hagg.

Hi All.....Just another thing regarding dads operation, they have told him they are fitting Titanium teeth when they do the op, as anybody else had this done?.

Hi Jo

Lucky Dad new teeth aswell! I asked my surgon for a Boob job, he just laughed at me!
Listen to all that is said here on this site, weeeeee all searched the internet and ended up here, like I have said b4, we all had different operations, but we all had mouth cancer, and we where all scared, but we all live to tell the tale, my mouth now is brill, my arm where they taken the flap is bloody killing me and my shoulder hurts like you would not believe.................but if you walked passed me in the street I look like a million dollors, healing takes time, but operation is the best thing I ever done in my life, and to me my life is important!

I can fully understand your resevations with dates, I found out on Friday 19th June same date my Dad did 12 months b4 me, he died 3 days after my Birthday last year, this year on my Birthday I was home from hospital and had the best day I could have with my daughters, my husband and my Mum!

My Daughters are 25 today(9th October) they are twins and they are so special to me.

I am going to eat Birthday cake with them! Not bad for post op 25th July!

Your Dad going to be fine, send him my love, and all the best to all on here, g8t place to find, love Ann xxx

Just to give you an update re dads operation, he is in theatre now as i write this, just hope everything turns out ok i am absolutely terrified but i guess this is normal, the surgeons have been really good with us and i know he is in safe hands but its going to be a long day as he is in theatre 12/15 hours.I will let you know his progress over the next couple days/ weeks and thanks to you all for the support. Jo x

Dear Jo,

My thoughts are with you and your dad, but he will be fine. Iremember the feelings well, my mum had her operation on 30th June (my birthday and pearl wedding) what should heve been a very special day was the worst day of my life, worrying about mum and if she would pull through the operation, but as you know, shes a fighter and is doing so well.

I am sure your dad will do well too, but it will be the longest hours of your life. My mums consultant phoned me personally to tell me mum had come through the operation and I cried with relief. I phoned my sister and dad with the news and couldnt speak.

Please let us know how he gets on and our thoughts as always will be with you.

Shirley

Thinking of you Jo and knowing the way you must be feeling right now. I had a total of 31 hours of surgery in 3 separate ops and my husband and family have all said they were the worst hours of their entire lives. I was ok - I didn't know anything about it! Stay strong and think positive. Try not to let your Dad see how worried you are - easier said than done, I know. There is life after this horrific disease, and there are plenty of us survivors out here to prove it. Take care and wishing you all the luck in the world.
Dian x

Unfortunately DAD passed away this morning after coming through surgery he suffered a massive heart attack and never recovered, i am absolutely devastated i cant speak.