Hi, I was diagnosed with tongue cancer in Feb 2004 and had surgery followed by radiotherapy. I had a really bad reaction to radiotherapy that put me back in hospital for a month. Since then I have improved so much and finding this site has helped to keep me sane. However, my partner walked out a month ago - and gave the cancer as the main reason for breakdown! This damn disease has robbed me of so much - my job, enjoyment of life, now my partner. I have no close family and it's such a hard battle to fight alone.Knowing there are people out there who understand at least some of what I am going through helps.But I still worry about what the future holds.

Hello Sheila

The double whammy does happen to those with cancer as partners find it difficult to cope and want out. It is important to remember that you are much stronger than you think you are and there is a great life to have if you can only see it. Find joy in the little things like a lovely flower that smiles at you and brightens your life. We will be your friends, so take heart and face the future knowing things will get better because you say so.

Best wishes
Vinod

Dear Sheila,

Please do allow us to be your cyber-family! Each of the losses you describe have been experienced by others on this site. Cancer is the ultimate thief, there is no denying that! You write... "I still worry about what the future holds"... If I had to identify just one common thread that binds and unites the members of this website, it would be exactly that... uncertainty about what is to come. Most all of us struggle to varing degrees in this area.

Particularly in light of your loneliness, please visit this website often and let us know what is on your mind. There are many people here who care and very much want to help. I am glad you posted your note yesterday, and hope to see many more. Will remember you by name in my prayers.

From my heart,

Melanie

Many thanks for your kind words - it means so much to me right now. At heart I know I am a strong person, this is just another setback, but I know that one way or another I'll get my life sorted out. One thing the last couple of years has taught me is how precious life is - and how much I want to live it to the full. My life may have changed but no way is it over!!
"What does not break us makes us strong"

We are all here for you Sheila. Never any need to feel isolated and alone.

Hello Sheila,

I have been off the board for some weeks now but am back now and have been touched by your story.

You need support at this time of trauma, and a loving partner is the one person and it is natural that we look for that support first, but it does not always work that way. It is not their "fault" of course and no matter how much hurt their reaction causes us we must realise their limitations and forgive them and let them go. There will be new love in your life eventually should you allow yourself the risk to expose your heart once more. It may take a long time to find you, but it shall Sheila, keep your heart open and welcoming and you shall be rewarded with more than you can ever imagine.

Who knows what the future will hold for any of us, but it cannot be worse than a mixture of all that we have experienced to date and nothing therefore to frighten us for we can balance our new experiences with the strength of our other experiences over time.

We are not victims this is life and at best it will never be perfect it is not what others do to or for us that makes us happy Sheila but what happiness we can give others when we in turn touch their lives. The greatest gift we can ever give anyone is that of our love and love comes in all sizes, platonic through to passionate.

We can never make others love us, but the power of love not least the divine and unconditional Love of God, can support us in any situation. We are never alone, and I pray God's blessing upon you, trusting that you will find happiness by giving and will be rewarded many times over by all those who are touched by your courage.

You can scream and shout your frustrations here for we have all been on your jounrney and understand Sheila, you are still the same now as you were before your illness and if anything better and stronger for the experience.

Best wishes, Alan