Hi - am new to this site & v. grateful to have found it, wondered if anyone could help pls?

My mum was diagnosed with tongue cancer about 3 months ago. She had approx. half her tongue removed & a neck dissection 8 weeks ago. We found out about a month ago that cancer was detected in 2 of the lymph nodes in her neck so she will shortly we starting a course of radiotherapy (daily for 6 weeks).

She had been getting better but has been going downhill for the past week/10 days. She is super-tired, experiencing pain in her neck, can barely speak & can't face eating at all. She ended up being readmitted to hospital as her specialist was suprised at the state she was in. They did various tests at the end of last week & have discovered 'palsy' of one her vocal cords. They did an MRI scan & cannot find signs of more cancer, but have no other explanation for what is going on.

Was just wondering if anyone had ever heard of anything like this? Forgive me for being pessimistic, but I can't quite believe that this can't be related to the cancer in any way.

Also, does anyone know how I might be able to establish mum's prognosis? Mum & Dad won't ask but I'd really like to know.

Any thoughts/suggestions would be really helpful.

thanks all.

Hi Chaffinch

Welcome, welcome. I hope you find what you need and I'm so sorry to read about your mom.

I had a similar operation to your mom's and was on a ng feeding tube for a few weeks post-op. Does she have either a peg or a nasogastric tube? If she's not able to eat for whatever reason, this might be an option. Have you met with a dietician/nutritionist? Is she seeing a speech pathologist/therapist for the vocal problem?

It's totally understandable that you're feeling pessimistic. Your mom is sick and you don't know how to help her. The good news is that there are a lot of really wise and helpful people on this site who've been where you are.

Julia

Hello Chaffinch
Like you, I really wanted to know my husband's prognosis. I felt if I just knew, I'd be able to cope with anything.
As it turns out, no-one can give you the information you want and guess what? it makes no difference because what you need to do is concentrate on the moment you are in. Life is about NOW, especially when you are dealing with this dreadful illness. Don't be worrying about next week, the week after, the next month or whatever. Love your Mum to bits. Build beautiful memories, recall beautiful times together, say and do everything you ever wished or wanted to have said or done because no matter what the outcome that is what will carry you through.
Believe me, I know.
Good luck and please give your Mum by best wishes.
Take care
Cheers from Down Under
Deborah

thanks both for your replies.

mum now has had a PEG fitted & has totally lost the power of speech. she is really low - almost as if she has given up. she is in week 2 of radiotherapy so my fear is that it is only going to get worse as the effects of that kick in.

just posted on the Q&A board as I'm trying to work out if there is anything at all I can do to try & help lift her spirits. she is on antidepressants but they don't seem to be doing any good. she won't see me or my brother (or her grandchildren) so I'm trying to write to her & send her gifts ... & also keep my dad sane, but it's pretty tricky.

all ideas gratefully received - thanks again

Not wanting to see anyone is very common chaffinch.Rob wouldn't even speak on the phone.It was very difficult to explain to people,i am not sure i really understood myself,but he was adament about it so i had no choice but to become a "bouncer".This cancer is not like most,as the loss of your most basic functions like speaking,eating and drinking seem to cause massive psychological problems.

Vocal chord palsy(paralysis) is also quite common and usually reverses itself further down the line.