Hi I sure get lonely and blue sometimes. Must be the Raynauds and being stuck in doors all the time. Having this site sure does help.
Cat

Cathy, I know exactly what you mean, being stuck in the house 24/7 will do that to us. I mean when the only thing you have to look forward to is a DOCTOR visit or to the pharmacy for a persription, then life can be very quite. It all but stands still. It can get to you and fast. There isn't enough T.V., crafts, books, pies or cakes to keep you busy. Or not for me. I try to go somewhere everyday. Just so I am not in this house. But there was a time when I couldn't and I know there will come a time when I can't. It is amazing how quite and sad this disease is. It not only eats away at our bodies, it takes over the mind as well. For it is never far away from thought. Or it isn't for me. There can be a room full of people and I can still feel alone. Alone, because I am the one who number was called. I am the one that cannot do the things that others can do. I am the one who life is fading day by day. These are things that run thru my mind. The other day I was driving and I was at a red light. I looked at my hands on the steering wheel. I thought right then,,,about how I had always taken such good care of myself. I have long pretty nails,,,always so neatly painted...I thought for what...One day I won't be able to paint them again...What a thought to have!!!! I mean out of the blue. Lord talk about blowing my mind....I too am so proud to have this site. To talk to others that understand where I am coming from and won't think bad of me. I can't talk to my family about these things for it makes them cry. They are so afraid. More than I am I think sometimes. THAT IS SOME FEAR TOO----BECAUSE I AM SCARED TO DEATH.... Always Vicki

Thank Vicky, You really do understand. Your right about TV and all. My family tries but even they
get tired of it.
Cathy

HI Vickie & Cat,
I sure agree with your messages well put vicki

FEAR is my prominent dread

When will it be back
How will I cope in years to come as it drags on mentally, Physically and monetary
How comes my circle of friends are shrinking when I need them most :banghead:
I was so frightened of losing any more friends that my last biopsy I never told anyone only on here and my best friend Blanch(HI)
I hate it having to PRETEND to be fine, People say """morning how are you""" I say fine thanks""" when I would like to say
"""I am miserable, Lonely, sad,in pain and so tired"""


Well I feel bettter now
Oh its Sunday of to church now keep my options open


Paul

Paul

Paul, The sad thing is people don't want to hear the truth. You know I can honestly say that I have never asked a person how they were without taking the time to listen to the answer. I learn that a long long time ago. My Grannie always said if you don't have time to listen--then don't you ask. I never have. I have seen so many people ask how are you and just keep right on walking past you. Now why did they even ask, to me it is not polite. It is the rudest thing. So when people ask me and they do not stop walking I don't even bother to answer them. If they ask me and they seem to care, I tell them, I am doing the best that I can. If I don't feel well I say so. I don't go into detail, I just say--I've had better days...The friends, ah yes the friends...those that we were always there for,,,those friends. Well I really feel like they don't know what to do, and ignorance has set in, so they do nothing at all. I have always said this and I do believe this. We just don't know what to do in these situations. We aren't taught how to deal with sadness. Only happiness. Which is so sad. We know how to celebrate a birthday or a birth, but not a illness or death. So we try the things that others have done. Ignorance steps in. We say things that we think heals only to find that they hurt. We don't mean too we just were never taught. Until or unless you have walked in these shoes you too would have never known. We all know now because of the walk we are taking. We all know how to help each other. And most of the time the right things to say. I pray to GOD every day that I was never so busy that I couldn't take the time to care. All of us want the things that money cannot buy. It doesn't cost a dime to care. To love. To remember. To give. Yet it is the one thing we seldom get or have.....I agree with you Paul, I thank RDOC for letting me sound off. To cry. To laugh. Most of all for my friends that I have on here. What would I do without you----I don't even want to think about it....Always Vicki Lynn

so moving Vicki

Paul

IT IS THE TRUTH AS I SEE IT

I Paul and Vicky, You both make me feel so much better. Thank you very much, Cathy

Cathy, GOOD then we are doing what we are supposed to do.....What we like to do. What we want to do. What we meant to do.......A little bit of sunshine goes a long long way.....ALways Vicki Lynn