:soapbox: hello everyone! :alert:

Maurice's Blog has been updated. Please read his latest diary entries. :boxedin:

Maybe you guys can cheer him up? :help:

http://www.rdoc.org.uk/exp18.html

Krishan :coffee:

Goodness Maurice if things are so bad that you are not eating and being sick then ring the GP or the radiotherapy unit/hospital and tell them you cannot eat, are being sick, have the trots. They may take you into hospital and rehydrate you. Even if they don't you need electrolyte products to keep your system balanced.

Is your peg wound infected? If you are using Ensure I suggest stopping it as it disagreed with my tum something awful.

Is there a cancer hospice nearby that could help you. If you are in this state your own GP may be able to help by arranging regular visits from a district nurse. It seems to me that along with physical and mental suffering you need a bit of TLC from someone.

You can get through this and do it if you tell yourself you will. You can be strong, but your probably do need some outside help. Giving up so soon really does not seem to be the man who has written before.

Maurice, you will feel depressed its only natural, thinking there is no end to the pain, but there is, you must call your doctor, he/she will know what is best for you, to get you through this terrible time.

You have come on so far, I know you will stand the pace. You can tell by your diary. During my treatment, I remember thinking at one point I was living on borrowed time. Now I find it hard to believe I ever thought that. You will feel the same. Please believe me.

Believe in tomorrow
and what it will bring,
let a hopeful heart carry you through,
For things will work out
if you trust and believe ~
there�s no limit
to what you can do!

Kind thoughts

Rosemary

I have given Maurice the contact number for our local MacMillan nurse if he needs her help, and informed her too.

Dear Maurice, How my heart goes out to you at this really horrible, unnerving time you are havng. The pain, the discomfort, the mental stress, and knowing the treatment has still quite a long way to go. Well anyway it can't surely get much worse can it, and now that Dr Joshi is taking an active part with Macmillan etc you will find, as I did, that that is a huge help. These nurses are so amazingly selected. They don't just come when you are dying, but when you are feeling really low as you are at the moment.
Everything that's happening is not all the cancer, but the things from the past which are ganging up when you are at your most vulnerable. They are saying :@Hey, let's kick this guy when he's down'.
Well tell them to just disappear. I know that when you are in pain it is impossible to think straight. The thought of you trying to sleep kneeling on the floor is a very painful one. And that is not a pun.
The thing about this ilnessis that it affects people so differently. You can be down in thge depths and then just as suddenly feel optimisitic again and catch a glimpse of the light and the happy times still waiting to be enjoyed with your friends and family.
I don't like the sound of you living on yourown. But that will all be sorted.
For now, Maurice, very specal thoughts and prayers winging your way from Ishbel

Please don't think about giving up.

HI Maurice, I do hope you are feling some what better .
Like Ishbel says not all is the Cancer but things from before and they seem alot worse to you now as you feel very vunerable .
Well mate if I told you just some of the things that has happened to me AFTER my Cancer operation not linked in anyway you would have told me to give up while your on top He He.
I know it no joke but life goes on and the Cancer does its best to make sure we dont have a quality of life!
well thats my feeling anway :banghead: .not very helpful sorry
Paul

Maurice, Paul is so right with his phrase about very vulnerable. You never ever feel quite so vulnerable as you do during the radiotherapy. You feel as if all control is taken from you when bolted down on that table and after a session so very fragile.

You are getting to the hard part as the sore throat from hell is about to kick in on day 14. It is as bad for everyone, but you know later on it is almost not so bad. You kind of get used to those nasty ulcers and somehow the body fights back trying to repair the mouth tissue, so that you feel at your worst about week 2 or 3 rather than later.

We are all thinking of you and knowing you will get through this.

When in a few months you feel so much better, you will look back on this as did that really happen to me. It is a slow treatment and a slow heal. Try to be patient and rest as much as practical.

Maurice, Bless your heart, hang in and dont let this get too you to bad..This is so much easier said than done, how well I know, but you can do this..We all did and thought it would be the death of us all. But damm when it is happening and you are smack in the middle you feel as there is no end in sight. You are on my mind daily as I worry about your overall condition..Get some help over there if you need it, family or friend, someone,,to help you thru the ruff times..They don't know you need them unless you tell them,,,Please don't give up or in, Maurice, everyday is closer to the end of the radiation..ALways, vicki lynn

Hi all, thanks for your best wishes. I know I will have to get through this, but as you all know it's damn hard.
Maurice

Photos update to Maurice's Blog!

Family photos at bottom of homepage:
http://www.rdoc.org.uk/exp18.html

And

1 Month After Surgery Friday 2nd July 2004
http://www.rdoc.org.uk/mauriceblog/020704.html

Please send me your latest entries Maurice.

Thanks,
Krish :coffee:

Maurice, I just read your new parts to your story. You look GREAT by the way. The scar looks to be healing beautifully. You must be so proud of yourself for that. How are you doing today, Better I hope. Yes we all know how damm hard it is..We just don't want you to give up, we didn't so neither can you. LOL. Always, Vicki Lynn

Maurice, I have just seen your photos after surgery.
You should feel a lucky man today mine and lots of others are left with horenduos scars.
Maybe its time to count your blessing


Paul

Hi Maurice, I've only just brought myself up tp date on your blog.

Re. the latest photo, aay, molto macho !! Seriously your scar seems 100% better compared to when I saw it - in the flesh so to speak.

Concerning pain, well I'm just being introduced to the dark arts of """pain management""". Lets compare notes sometime. Now I've started getting pain I feel can talk to all you people who have had it to cope with from day one on a more equitable basis.

See you 13th. ??

Yes nice clean scars Maurice. Looks like they will fade beautifully.

You must now have had day 16 of radiotherapy and only 4 to go if you are still only having 20 treatments. Hang in there now and keep piling on that aqueous cream.

How are you feeling Maurice? Still lousy I expect, but moving forward we hope. There will come a day when you will feel you have turned a corner. Let's hope that's soon.