quote:

---

Facing despair realistically
by Dr Suzy Jordache

Many people when faced with terminal illness, feel hopeless. When in such despair it is vital to look at the reality of the situation and face up to the facts - only then can hope reappear. Hope is based in reality - it is not optimism, wishing or dreaming. Facing up to dark and difficult truths enables hope to emerge and new doors to open.

For example, when cancer is first diagnosed the hope is for a cure. If the cancer spreads or the treatment does not work then the hope changes - one hopes that the cancer can be held at bay for as long as possible with few symptoms. Hopes for family holidays, reunions, anniversaries etc. can be worked on and achieved. This can be a full and special time.

If the cancer spreads further and it becomes clear that it will cause death then hope shifts again. The hope is for a peaceful, pain free death; for good endings with friends and family; for reconciliations - and for preparation with spouses and children who will be left behind. Memory boxes and books, letters and photographs can be used to pass on pearls of wisdom and hopes for the future of those left behind.

Beliefs beyond death can be examined and spiritual issues never normally discussed can lead to deep and meaningful moments with huge intimacy and understanding.

---