Hi all,

well it has been just over a year since my dad died of throat cancer. He was diagnosed 3 months before his death and refused to go on with the radiotherapy, and what a roller coaster year emotionally this has been.
I hope you dont mind but thought i would share a shorter version of it with you all.

My son who is 14 is still seeing a counselor of course teenage hormones dont help.... my daughter who is now 17 (he died 15 mins b4 her 16th birthday) has been a massive help a real shoulder for us all. My mum is still as upset today as the day before week before month before and just cant move on. Not a day goes by or a light buld that needs changed that she doesnt have a tear in her eye.
Me well im a mixture of all the above. I am there and so strong for my mum and son my daughter i know when she needs me and needs left alone and there for her and then "the silliest of things" set me of in tears. Like hearing a song and getting annoyed why didnt i think of that for dads funeral, or seeing a funny image and laughing at what dad would have said about it, hurting so bad coz i need a cuddle from my dad or his advise or even a kick up the backside from him.

They say time is a great healer and i am starting to genuinley believe this, but we do need lots of time to heal and probably never will heal completley. There is still a gaping hole inside where dad should be and slowly this hole is filling with his memories rather than just hurt

I hope i havent ranted on too much

take care all of you

virtual hugs for all (hugs are one of the few free pleasures we have)

Txx

I do still think of all the kind people on the site and do pop in every now and again.

txx

Hello Tracey-Ann
What you've all been threough is so cruel and unfair. it's true you'll always feel saddened at the awful way your dad passed. But eventualy it'll become more bearable.
Your poor mum, i bet you're beside yourself as to what to do to bring her out of herself.
I hope she can move on some day - and she doesn't need to ever forget - but live her life for the 2 of them now.
Needless to say you're welcome here anytime.
All the best,
Michelle