Tequila and Salt
This should probably be taped to your bathroom mirror where one can read it every day. You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.


1 There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.
2 At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3 The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
4 A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
5 Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6 You mean the world to someone.
7 You are special and unique.
8 Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
9 When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
10 When you think the world has turned its back on you take another look.
11 Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.


Always remember... when life hands you lemons, ask for tequila and salt and call me over! Good friends are like stars... You don't always see them, but you know they are always there.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Dr Vinod K Joshi,

I smiled, thank you

Tracy Anne , Thanks for the really meaningfull imput into the way its so easy to forget the good things in life and that we are still a person with feelings.
I too foret the good things in life bogged down sometimes by the aftereffects of the Radiotherapy which still haunt me 5 years time.
You will not belive this but could not have read this at a better time.
I am meeting a friend tonite and been so worried what he will think of the way I look now forgetting I have lots of other qualites that I can use to soften the blow.
Its very hard to discuss this with my friends as they say "you do not look that bad" but I look completly different to before and I have to rember it was nearly 5 years now.
Thankyou so much for the imput it has given me hope of a nice evening the first time I have been out at night for a very long time.

Paul

Oh i thought i was the only one being 22 and my daughter so young she will never really grow up to see me how i looked before or see the real me i know its silly as i am more than just what i look like but it pains me that my smile is not the same any more the right side of my face no teeth and a scar and permanent raditherapy lines like someone has drawn on my face with a ruler made a square from my nose to my ear as i am dark skinnedit will never really fade My face has minmum movement and the right side of my lip does not move at all so effectivly i have a one sided smile
dido my friends always just say it does not look that bad or its got better to be honest most of the time i dont even bother with more than half of them and as for my family they just tend to talk about the wide number of other people they know that have unfortunately had this disease in every other place apart from there (Face) i know its my mouth but it might as well have had the tumour stuck on my face. On the positive Paul im sure you you are having a lovely evening as i writ this and your friend will see you for who you are to them and not the way you look. Thank you T for your message and despite my little moan your email still makes me smile and i know my daughter and i share happiness together everday.

Melx

hey i know it may sound really cheesy but you do both sound like beutifull people. We arent kids ourselves (unfortunatley) anymore and i know i have been taught to see beyond the outer appearance and this has rubbed of on my kids as well. There are still people out there who believe trully that beuty is within the eye of the beholder and we are all wearing some kind of mask covering who we really are.
My dad was a great believer in all the above and always said that if people cant look at him how he is because of tubes scars etc then they arent worth knowing. The only time i had trouble with that was the last 2 days of his life when he was lifeless doped so much with morphine no dignity or pride i couldnt look at him because although the initial shell appearance was him the soul wasnt and i could see that which now gives me great comfort rather than the guilt i felt about it.
Anyway im starting to rant now lol.
So please take care and when you look in the mirror look behind the mask god gave you.

Tx

Its hard because God didnt give me this mask cancer did and the surgeon but i know im being silly again and know for some reason its happend and i dont resent anything is just hard difficult and painful to adjust
I will try
"look in the mirror and see behond the mask God gave me"
Thanks
Mel x

I have struggled for almost two years with being self conscious about my appearance, always wearing scarves or high neck tops and long sleeve shirts to hide my arm. Then during the recent heatwave I was on holiday and just thought "enough!" - I wanted to dress normal again. So, I went out in sleevless tops with lower necklines and do you know what - no one even noticed!! It is so easy to believe everyone is looking at you or judging you by appearance but most people are just too busy with their own lives to care about what you look like. Your friends know the real you - why should you worry about what strangers think?

Sheila Good for you

I fluctuate dramatically between not caring(going to my busy hair salon with my stitches still in 5 days after surgery) and then feeling highly self concious not so much because people may look I had a complete strange man look at me only a few inches away from my face whilst i was minding my own business crossing the road say "what happend to you" replied "CANCER" REPLY "AH NO SERIOUSLY" REPLY "YES" but do you know something i was shocked because no one had adressed it in such way it did not bother me as would prefer someone to ask than stare my looks dont bother me my smile does if that makes sense and my ultimate frustration is my speech i deal with it just those handful of people that cause a simple situation to become difficult due to the there lack of ability to listen.


Mel xx

I read what you have on rdoc website,
find me at adamkwasny@hotmail.com

adam kwasny

Hello Adam

What a pleasant surprise! It is nice to have you here. Your story has been so inspirational to so many. Look forward to your posts and good humour

Best wishes
Vinod

Hi,
I recently read all of your replies. I have not had a hard time dealing with my looks. I have been lucky with only having scars on my neck, and my mouth is a little lopsided. My biggest problem is my speech and the fact that I often have to use a cloth to mop up, LOL, my saliva. I cannot swallow it since I only have half a tongue. I know my speech and the saliva will get better, but people can be so rude. They tend to look at me like okay what is wrong with her mentally. Then I get frustrated and then I really have bad speech. I try to have a sense of humor about it, but sometimes it is hard. I have lost the ability to do my job, I use to teach school. Now I feel like what do I do with my life now.
Otherwise I just deal with what life has dealt me and try to remember that I am doing very well considering what could have happened. My children have learned to be understanding and sympathetic to my needs and others.
I think we should go with my doctor's advice about people who are rude to us about our speech or looks. She tells me "Screw Em" I laughed so hard.
LeAnn

You might find this Changing Faces booklet of help:Handling Other People's Reactions

Best wishes
Vinod