Hi. Does anyone find people staring at you and asking questions. Where i work, patients ask me what i have done to my arm and one of them asked me why am i talking funny. They thought i was joking on until i kindly told them why i now talk like this. It gets so frustrating. I feel like wearing a banner saying look at me i had cancer. I apologise if this offends anyone its just the way im feeling at the moment.

Ruus I dnot think theres anyone on here not going through the same thing.
I get it every time I go out
stares
people looking
pointing
It is so DEMORALISING just when you feel you have the confidece to go out alone again wham bam your back to where you started
I had some youths say to me me "what time the zoo close" "do they let you out Saturdays" I was so angry could not get a word out or would have told the bastards what I thought of them
People say ingnore them best NOT say anything I bloody well would if I could and if more strenth smack them as well.

Paul

Hi paul. What a bunch of evil bastards them kids were. I would have threw something at them. Its upsetting knowing there are people out there doing and saying things like that.
Does this website ever have any meetings so we can meet and have a cuppa?

Hello Russ! Sure we all get strange looks from time to time, though I've never met with open 'hostility'. Sometimes people (usually elderly women) ask me what has happened, if I had an accident or something. Also kids (but under 10) may ask 'Ma'm what happened to your face?' I try to explain and more often than not they understand what I'm saying. Tennagers do dot take any notice. What makes me sad and disillusioned is gradual withdrawal of the so-called friends. Fewer and fewer of them are left. It's two years now since the problems with my face and speech began. Jola

I agree with everything everyone has said. I get alot of questions from people my own age (21) asking how I got the scar on my arm. I have no shame in telling them how, but it hurts when I see the shock on their faces that I had cancer, and reminds me how unlucky I have been. As for friends, I am slowly realising who the important ones are. I find it very difficult living with 5 other girls, who have known me before and after "C" but things are so different now and I feel myself getting frustrated at them for not realising just how effected I have been by all this. I feel that because of what I have been through that I am 50 years older them, going through completly different feelings to them and find it increasingly hard to enjoy my last 6 months of uni. Sorry for the moan but I am feeling quite down at the moment.

Hello Clare I really feel for you having had to go through all that you have at such a young age. It's dreadful at any age but, as you say, you have had to "grow up" before your time. Its all credit to you that you have continued with your studies and (as you are sharing a flat with 5 others) assume you are living away from home. It sounds to me that you are a very strong person who is not going to let this illness get in the way of your goals in life.

Just an aside, you mentioned the scar on your arm - I have recently been given a gel from the hospital which is meant to reduce the scarring and redness - and it seems to be working. It won't take it away altogether of course but reduces the impact a bit. I put lashings of aqueous cream on to keep the area supple and use this stuff on the edges. You would think that something more permanent could be done in the way of plastic surgery wouldn't you? Anyway the gel is called "Dermatix".

Good luck with your last few months at Uni and particularly with your exams. I know from my own daughter that university life can be very difficult at the best of times, but hopefully you can look back on it with fond memories of some fun times and one or two genuine friendships. Keep positive! Brenda x

Hi Guys, Clare I feel so you so, Do not feel 50 years older but look it now
I find like today I will go the the Cancer group at the Maxfax and all are at least 25 years older than me and it angers me to say that pisses me off when they say"I find it hard to eat meat or salad" I am sitting there thinking "my god on a good day lucky if I can get some Weetabix down my throat with a Teaspoon and there moaning about that!!!
They dont seem to have any scaring on their necks and constanly show each other their arm where they had the graft to compare , Well you can cover that up! although was thinking of getting a Yasmak
I too like you found out who my true friends were and after many years in a partnership went back to live on my own in another part of London and its so difficult now for me to make any friends.
As for the ones who say goood moorring hooww arree yyoou I could hit then, Try to tell them I am not deaf.
I feel sometmes make the most of it and other times find it all to much specially when I am tired all the time and just to do my shopping is an effort and two or three journeys as I cannot carry things.
I am sure people think you have had the operation your fine now
The pain mentally and physically goes on and on and my teeth well thats another letter on its own,Thats why I am up at this godly hour pain as usual.
Well I was 3 years in remission and have made the effort to travel alone to the USA to stay with two wonderful people and I am going for it although scared to death as my speech is affected and I get tired so.
My main worry at the moment falling asleep in the Airport and missing my plane, NO lie I can fall asleep standing up sometimes I feel so tired and it seem to hit me with no warning.
Well off now to iron a few more shirts for my hols everything takes me so long, do a bit have a nap do a bit.
I wish youwell Clare with your last few weeks and exams and hope that you will stay positve.
I have too aims in life dont laugh
to see Madonna live & go windsurfing one day just may be!

Paul

Hello everyone, re the General Public and the rudeness one comes across; as I brought up a son with learning difficulties, I had had quite a lot of early training for the comments I got, due to speech problems; so the ill bred serfs that dared to be rude; got an earful from me.My replies were very much to the point. Big Bear Hugs to all of you out there.

Hi gang. Im proud of my scars im just sick of the evil looks i get and the silly questions i get asked. Hope to here from you soon. Some people think im a self harmer which i take great offence at. Evil people about.

Hi gang. You all ok? Im sorry if i have offended anyone with this topic and regret any offence it has caused.

Helo Russ, I'm sure no-one is upset by your topic - it's good to air your feelings and open it to discussion. I have put two "poems" together giving both sides of how I feel (see Cup Half Empty and Cup Half Full somewhere under the General Chat topic) but I haven't actually come across people who have been openly rude - as yet anyway! Hope all is going well for you. Regards Brenda.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Dr Vinod K Joshi,

Hi Brenda. I have read your poems and they are superb. You should publish them as they are an inspiration to us all. No I thought i had as there was no replies for a while. Everything is going fine at the minute and iam eagerley waiting the cricket season to start. Hope everyhing is allright with you and everyone else. You are all in my thoughts and prayers.

Hi Brenda. I just thought i had done. I have read your poems and they are superb. You should publish them as they are an inspiration to us all. Hope you are all doing ok and you are all in my thoughts and prayers.

Hi. Why is it that when i speak people seem to ask me to repeat it People dont seem to stare as much at me now but when i need to repeat things its bloody frustrating.

Hi russ
I often get asked to repeat myself and in Americaa one of the servers said or you must be from the mumbling side of england

my confidence is low at present
at work i did presentations etc but now my wife asks for everthing
I had my operation at Darlington By Mr Edge
wonderfull fellow

Dave and Sue