HI

Well 2 treatments down and 1 to go. The operation went ok. They removed T10 in my spine and even managed to remove the rib that had some cancer in. Now I am waiting for information about the chemo. Everybody.... I am so scared. Whilst I was in hospital I had too much time to think and know my head is in a bit of a mess. I'm 23 and I just cant think of the future as I really dont know what it will be, let alone if I will be here. I dont understand secondary cancer but it frightens me so much. Any words of wisdom, because I really need it.

Hello Clare

I am here. I was thinking of you and hoping that things were going well with you. You have had the surgery and it appears to have gone well. The chemo should knock the remaining cells out. There is new treatment that helps called Erbitux which might also help you; do ask your oncologist about it. Meanwhile take each day at a time and do your best each day to make it count in all you do. Make each day a good day for none of us really knows how many days we have and we tend to waste most of these days. Am here, with the others, to chat whenever you want.

Best wishes
Vinod

p.s.More on Erbitux here.

Scared is a natural feeling to put it mildly.
You have had the feeling once before and now it has come back to haunt you again.
In the dark depths of my depression following my very late diagnosis of neck cancer - I was dying and it was my depression that was killing me!!
Do seek advice on chemical help - anti-depressants. They do work over a period of time and they certainly helped me to get my life back. I live each day fairly normally-but only people who have gone through what we have gone through know what it is like.
The Anti-Ds stop me from thinking too negatively.
I don't have any noticable side effects either. Speak to a local GP and/or your oncologist.They will advise you well.
We all still have a future and that includes you,Clare.

cheers me duck - Tony K

We are all thinking of you Clare. Hang on in there girl and keep your chin up. You are most certainly not alone in this world.
When its all over a few of us will drive over and drag you down the pub to celebrate and you can hold us to it.

Hi Sweetie...

I have an idea...
In your precious mind, set the age that you will depart from this world at one-hundred and three years! That's right... 103! I think that will be an excellent age to go and see Jesus, don't you think... and not a moment, not even a SECOND before! Visualize your dear self as a very old woman one day... content... and CANCER-FREE... with great stories to tell your great-grandkids! Clare, if that image is now carved in your mind... KEEP IT THERE! I want you to expect (and accept NOTHING short of) complete remission... one-hundred percent control over this nasty disease! You need to "stay up in its face" and not back down... not one inch! Be DEFIANT, Clare... and keep the image of yourself at 103 years old in the forefront of your brain... ESPECIALLY when you feel most afraid. I would like for you to start visualizing your future and all the things you want to accomplish... without self-imposed boundaries or limited timeframes. Dr. Joshi's words of wisdom are so true. None of us know when we will die... so, in my opinion, we may as well behave as though we have forever and ever... BUT, at the same time, live each day like it's our last! Clare, do not hesitate for one moment to plan your future... a week from now, a year, ten years, fifty years down the road! One-hundred-three is a long time away... so I suggest you start figuring out how you will fill all that time wisely!

So thankful that your surgery went well (and they were even able to remove the cancerous rib as a bonus)! The chemo will reek havic on anything left!

It's okay (and, as Tony said, perfectly natural) to feel frightened... but don't (DO NOT) feel hopeless! THERE IS HOPE, my friend! When you turn 103, I will already be in heaven... so my step-children will have strict orders to send you a big gaudy birthday card for the occasion (with $103 enclosed) on my behalf!

Still praying for you and asking Him to shower you with strength and courage in abundance. Let us know when the chemo begins... and the cancer cells disappear by the thousands!

From my heart,

Melanie

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Melanie,

Thank you everybody for your support. It means so much. Dr Vinod thank you for the name of the treatment I will certainly mention it to my oncologist who I see this Thursday. I have felt a little bit better since I last posted. Melanie I have taken your advice on board and I can picture a future years and years down the line! I will post soon after I have met with my oncologist. Thanks again, you are all stars xx

YOU'RE the star, dear one... keep on SHINING!

Hi all, my name is cameron and my sister in law has recently undergone surgery for tongue cancer. Her name is Maggie and she is now undergoing radiotherapy which i'm sure you all know is making her quite ill. she has two children with her husband, (my eldest brother)and i'm sure you will all understand when i say it has, and still is tearing there world apart, it has sent shock waves through the family and there is only so much reletives and friends can do to support her, what she really needs right now is some one who is going/been through the same or similar thing to talk to . the problem for the moment is a lack of a p.c,(which will be rectified a.s.a.p). She is missing out on these vital support networks. My question is.. is there any one in her area she could meet and talk to so as to share experiences and coping methods? she lives near Yeovil in somerset, England. If there is any one who can be of help then please let me know.

WELCOME to you Cameron. I'm on the other side of the "big pond" (USA), so will not be able to visit Maggie, but glad to communicate with her through you until she gets her PC and then with her online. My husband is a tongue cancer survivor (diagnosed 11/04) and doing quite well. I would be more than happy to swap experiences and share whatever "wisdoms" gained through our ordeal with this life-altering disease. You articulated it so well when you said "it has sent shock waves through the family". Every member of our family felt the same. When one is hurting... all share the pain and cannot be happy as a unit until that loved one is out of danger and no longer suffering. I know your heart is broken, right along with your brother's.

I would like for you, Maggie, your brother, and all the family to know... THERE IS HOPE. This is undoubtedly one of the most trying ordeals that Maggie and those who love her has ever endured... but life and (albeit somewhat changed perhaps) WILL return to your dear sister-in-law... when treatments conclude and healing begins, and prayerfully the cancer will be taken care of.

If you don't mind my asking, was Maggie's tongue cancer caught in an early stage? (My Danny's was stage 4 when diagnosed, which is most advanced, but HE IS STILL HERE!) Also, had her cancer spread at all? Danny's had spread into the right neck lymph nodes, but no other area, so far as we know.

I wish Maggie much strength and peace in the days ahead. She is suffering the same things that so many on this website have endured. It is awful, and almost unbearable at times, but she'll get through. Cam, feel free to ask any questions or express your thoughts and fears to us anytime via this forum... We understand... and we CARE! Looking forward to posts from Maggie too when she gains access.

Will be saying special prayers for Maggie and all of you. She is lucky to have such a caring sister-in-law. Family is so important when cancer invades. Love is powerful!

From my heart,

Melanie

Hi Melanie, thanks for your reply, though i should point out that i am Maggies brother in law . Thankyou for your concern and understanding regarding my post, i have been in contact with my family in England and informed them that i have been in contact with you, my mother is helping sort the p.c thing out and will call me with Maggies e.mail address as soon as she is on line and she will be certain to contact you , my knowledge of the cancer is quite limited though i do know she was also diagnosed with stage 4 and has had several scares since the opp resulting in biopsy's, at the moment it is thought that it hasn't as yet spread to her lymph nodes and the last two lumps found in her neck have so far come back negitive but the doctors are going to
"paint the blood"?? as it doesn't always show in early lumps, as i said my knowledge of this is somewhat limited though i think we will all learn quite rapidly in the next few months. Thankyou again and i'm sure Maggie will be happy to know shes not alone. Keep up the great work..Chat soon, Cam.