Chelle, Doing it for me is the hardest part ?

I would like to say how nice it is for ypou guys to commicate so much on RDOC it does help people besdies us even my GP and Consultants have a sly look

Paul

Liz
I only just found this topic and it made me so sad to read what you have been through. I was treated for tongue cancer in 2004 and the doctors said I would be back to normal in two years.Reeling from the shock of it all I think both my partner and myself clung to that hope. My partner was supportive until almost the end of the second year - but I still wasn't eating properly, had to give up a job I loved and we'd lost all our 'friends'. I had to accept that my life would never be the same and try to adapt. We made new friends and I started doing voluntary work. Then she decided it had been too much of an impact on her life, she missed eating in restaurants, got angry at me for not trying to eat different foods, couldn't understand why I had lost so much confidence. So, almost a year ago, she left me and I felt cancer had robbed me of everything - my partner, my home, my job - even my dog. I went through hell but with the support of friends, and this site, I picked up the pieces and carried on.Maybe a lot of Rob's anger is due to the feeling of not being in control of his life any more? When my relationship broke up I had counselling and realised I was grieving for the life I had lost. Now I try and concentrate on what I can still enjoy. As hard as it is the only thing you can do is take care of yourself while letting him know that you still care about him.I agree with what Jenni said, he may be feeling guilty and feel he is making you unhappy. I wish I had the answer but we all have to cope with this in our own way. Please take care of yourself and don't feel you have to take the blame for his behaviour.
Sheila

Hi Sheila, What a great topic for us on here.
I too lost lots of fiends when I got the big C why? well some thought i was dying, some could not cope seeing the "new me" and had to lie how I looked ohters just could not cope period for many reasons.
Wher as iut left me in the end is with only two god friends who i can call anytime if I need but dont unless very vital and thAT IS USUALLY BECAUSE I AM HAVING A PROBLEM PEOPLE UNDERSTNDING ME AND AM NOT GETTING THE INFORMATION OR THINGS NEED.

You have open really what potentially is a mine field as even my Consultant has problems understand me but yet they say im free of the Big C for now so im fine

This is going to sound very ungratful but fine/
I cannot talk properly, feel a freak, look like a freak, constanly tired ans living alone.
I dont griev for my old life as it is too scary and upsetting even for me to think of life before its like another life to me.


I do hope things eventually work out for you and when people say are they really friends thats not fair as there is only so much a person can cope with and have a life for themselves so dont be too harsh.


Paul