Went for my monthly check up and the surgeon said "looks like the Cancers back the lump you had biopsied 3 weeks ago is bigger and inflamed"
I fell ANGRY, CONFUSED & of course WHY ME AGAIN I AM GUTTED?
I am not sure why I am writing this I feel that it might help others.
I go in hospital tommorow and on Friday they are putting me to sleep and doing a biopsy may be out Sat, they are putting me in a private ward . But if the surgeon is that convinced so am I. Time to prepare but it feel worse this time because I KNOW what to expect and really do not want ot go through it again. I will leave it at that and say you have ALL on RDOC been very kind to me and supportive in the past and hope it continues.
Paul

Hi Paul

What can I say that you have not thought of I have said if mine ever comes back then thats it of course you are younger thats different what are they planning to do this time round

Hi Eileen, Thankyou for your reply it means so much.
I do not know what they are planning to do have to wait and see them when the biopsy comes back the Cancer sister said it only takes a few days so I am expecting to go to the Cancer clinic on Tuesday. I am getting more and more worried as time goes on, someone siad to me how radical is the lump I do not know ?
Well I am staying with my mate at the moment which helps I have not stayed at my flat for over a year now but there nothing for me to stay there for at the moment, I do go there at least once a week as Ihave apointment that direction and at Maxiollfacial whichare onlt ten miniutes from my flat if the traffic is ok. Well how are you? have not seen you on line for awhile.
Paul

Hi Paul Im okay but the depression still gets me though how u must be feeling io sure dont know one has to ask WHY when so many old people are simly waiting to die that someone like yourself gets stru ck down in this terible manner. how do feel about surgery or radio again probabnly a little like me when |I said nEVER again at my age I would have said it this time round if I had had time top think about it however you have suffered so much my heart goes out to you how much suffering can an individual stand all the same God bless you and keep you im sure you will make the right decision is it back in the throat again makes you wonder what you have to do to keep it at bay most of all Paul consider your qulity of life and ask what it will be

Thinking of you Eileen

Hi Eileen, I am feeling devastated at the moment went in as told at 3pm to be told there is no bed have to go back in the morning and the operation will go as planned, this time going in ppw ward 5 so they will be a bed.They also inform me they may have to do a trackioctmy as my throat is bad but have to wait and see. :banghead:

Hi

My thoughts go with u look after yourself as of course u always have. so you have decided to go ahead I hope you will be able to feed normallly at a later stage and not have a permanent feeding tube u are so young and hae gone through so much.
at least i had 62 years of excellent health so at least thats something.

I always remeber the words saud to me by a psychiatrist " Nature does no care about us" how dam true


Will contact oyu again when you recover

May angels rest beside your door,
May you hear their voices sing.

May you feel their loving care for you,
May you hear their peace bells ring.

May angels always care for you,
And never let you fall,

May they bear you up on angel's wings,
May they keep you standing tall!

thanks for the lovely poem Shell

Paul

Hello Paul

Sorry to hear about the recurrence. It's like having the earth open up under you.

In times of this trouble, with all help and kind thoughts from your friends and loved ones, you will need to keep your spirit up and smile for we are all 'star-dust' present from the begining of time and will be there at the end too. Do your best , give it your best shot and let what will be, be. Take care, and good luck.

Our thoughts (me, shelley, blitz and the rest) will be rooting for you.

Best wishes

Vinod :coffee: :coffee: :coffee:

Thankyou all for your support it is hard for friends to talk about infact they tend to stay away I cannot blame them what they must thinck god only knows!!