Hi - I got a text this morning to tell me my friend with tongue cancer has had his operation cancelled as the cancer has spread too far and he has 6 months to live, extended to possibly 9 months if he has chemotherapy.

I would some information as to what the next 6 or 9 months are going to be like for him so I can both prepare myself for what to expect and to be as supportive to my friend as possible.

He already has a peg fitted so is able to at least eat now albeit he is still very thin.

Thanks in advance

Hi Laura
the very first thing i would advise is to get a second opinion.It seems a bit defeatist to me for them to say they can't do anything at all.Has the cancer spread elsewhere?In those circumstances i could perhaps see what they mean,but normally with very large tumours they do induction chemo and try to shrink the tumour down with that and then if it responds they can do radiotherapy and even surgery.I dont think it can be just a single tumour for the prognosis to be so poor.As for what to expect that depends on where the tumour is situated so can you get some more information about where the disease is and what area is affected?

As for being a carer you have mede a great start,and coming here is a very good move.

Thanks for your reply Liz

I guess I should have included more detail

He has already had Radiotherapy for tonsil cancer and surgery to remove the other tonsil. Then it spread to his tongue and they were going to operate to remove most of his tongue and voice box but at the pre op this week, they've said it's spread down his throat and are only offering chemotherapy to prolong his life to 9 months.

My friend has been a heavy smoker and drinker all of his life and still continues to do so.

He isn't open to trying anything new so the general concensus is not if he dies but when and how uncomforable is life going to get for him during that process.

I could try and suggest he get's a second opinion but he's not very open to any suggestions at the moment.

Hi Laura

well as they say the devil is in the detail.and now the picture is a bit clearer i can see where the doctors are coming from.Its very sad and i am sorry to say that the coming months are not going to be pleasant or easy for him or any one who cares about him.I am not sure that it is the right to go into gory detail on a public forum but if you would like a bit more insight please feel free to send me a private message.

Good morning Liz

I think I have sent you a private message now - hopefully you can find it - still learning how the forum works

All the best