October 12, 2004

After slowly started to eat again, yet not gaining any weight and feeling weak, I decided to have another opinion on my condition and situation. A friend set up an appointment at the Foundation Du Centre Pluridisciplinaire D�Oncologie in Lausanne, Switzerland. This is part of the University Hospital in Lausanne, a massive complex organized in a true Swiss manner. The Doctor that reviewed me today couldn�t understand why I am still hospitalized. He figured it was a financial decision by the private clinic ! I had optical examinations in a neatly equipped room while 20 Doctors, professors, and senior students viewed my condition on a monitor.

It was a highly professional group and after the examine they all discussed my condition. The verdict was that the cancer appears gone, tumor not visible backed up with the three biopcies, but the area is severely burned from radiation making the concern show on the PET scan. As the mouth is always full of bacteria, the infections are slow to heal. In addition my intake of proteins has been low, and thus my body is not fighting like it should. The Doctor said if I smoked and drunk bad wine for years I�d would be in better shape! This is because the body learns to defend itself from the toxins. So case in point, damned if I do, damned if I don�t. We also discussed the small amount of chemo I received and the Doctor said that the 3 session seemed good, as the tumor was concentrated in a tight area and the primary cure is by radiation in my case.

The examine concluded that I can not gain the protein I need through eating alone, (at the rate I am eating and ability to eat), and I need to be feed through a tube in my stomach. From the beginning I hated this idea, and didn�t oppose it, but asked if I really needed that. I was told months ago that my weight would be watched. I never heard anything more about the tube, even when complaining and loosing weight. The Doctor phoned by chief Doctor and they agreed, I need the tube now. Now that is 105 days after my admittance to the hospital. I think they made an error a long time ago in the lack of installation of this tube. I actually thought my body was stronger, but I was wrong.

I cringe to think about this new routine, but I want to get on with the painfully slow recovery. I am told that radiation burns in the mouth can take months to heal, and slowly they will heal. The radiation is a powerful toxin that says in the systems after it has damaged what it can. So this week I�ll add another chapter to this book, dealing with this tube that I thought I could bypass.

For today, it was positive news, another independent review that was positive about the ridding of the cancer. The Doctor said the primary concern is the removal of the cancer, all else is after planning, but it must all be done with a team; dieticans, radiologist, etc, etc.

I started using Xylocain (10%) spray before my meals. This numbs my mouth for about 20 minutes allowing me to get the food down with less pain. I started eating at the restaurant last night instead of kicking and crying in my room with each spoonful.

Chris, I am so sorry that this has happened to you. It is a horrible disease at best. The aftermath is just as horrible as the surgery. This is what I meant by saying that when you go in the hospital you are supposed to come out of it feeling better---not with CANCER. Oh no,,,you feel worse and worse. Then one day who are better. I mean it just comes out of the blue. You are never the same but you aren't in severe pain anymore...I pray that your day hurries for you....As far as the body, just because you are big and strong, doesn't always mean that your body is a fighter. I always say that this little body of mine has done a wonderful job. I cannot fault it for a thing. Sometimes it needs help, A lot of it,,,this is a fact..But I press on, cannot stop now, neither can you ..Take much care of yourself,,,Always Vicki Lynn