Despite all the support i have got from my cyber friends and my wonderful family,i find myself in a very black place now.The kids have just written Rob off as not worth bothering about"My Mother is very angry and i feel like i am living in a parallel world.I eat,i sleep,i function but it all feels like it is happening to someone else.Rob is never out of my thoughts for one minute and over the last couple of days i have had several phone calls from his family and friends to say they havent seen or heard from him or the ones that have say he looks in a desperate state and he is doing nothing but drinking and sleeping.I am not sure what the purpose of these calls are but i suspect they are now questioning his sanity and my absence.I havent heard one word from him since May 28th even though i text him on Thursday to wish him good luck with his check up at the head and neck clinic.I belong to another forum,and just at the moment there are so many people going through the most heartbreaking tragedy and are really desperate to survive,that i feel ashamed by Robs appalling behaviour and on the other hand i feel guilty for not being with him.The bottom line is my gut tells me he will not recover from this situation if he keeps on abusing his frail body the way he is doing,and will i be able to live with myself if anything were to happen to him.This situation is intolerable and is seriously doing my head in

Hello Liz, I wish I had known how you were feeling at the weekend as I was in Leeds visiting my daughter and maybe you and I could have met up for a coffee and a rant! I really do feel for you and can't imagine how you must be feeling. When you and Rob have shared so much together both before and during his illness, you can't be expected to 'turn off' all of a sudden. If he is bent on abusing himself then that is not your fault - you have to stay strong for yourself, as well as for your family. I know it is easy for me to say! I just want to send you a virtual hug. Stay strong. Best wishes, Brenda.

Liz

Its not your fualt.

Has rob thought about seeking some profeshional help

You also may need support from friends family its must be heartbreaking for you

Have you spoke to your doctor

Are you stll able to see Rob or is that route out

Always here

look after yourself
Dave and Sue

Liz,
We are all worried for your welfare please let us know you are still coping you have said nothing from 10.00 last night. It may be that you have been unable to resist the compulsion to go to Rob but when you get the chance get in touch, a one liner will be sufficient to let us all know your getting by.
Alan

Hi

i'm ok alan i will e-mail you this evening

x

thanks dave and sue xx

Hi Liz,
You really shouldn't feel guilty for any of feelings, thoughts or emotions. Rob is probably too self absorbed in his own black cloud that he's not even thinking how you may be coping. It sounds as though he's going through some kind of break down. As anyone in a "normal" state of mind would NEVER want to hurt those closest to them.
I wonder if there's anything that could be done to section him? Or anyone that could persuade him to get emotional help. He should be protected from himself and the authorities have a duty to not just stand by and him kill himself.
You've done nothing wong Liz. & eventualy your pain and hurt WILL ease.
I heard a story once about a king who ordered his subjects to find something that would make him happy when he's sad, and sad when he's happy.
His subjects searched all over and he was bought gifts of all kinds. When finally a little boy gave him a simple piece of paper. And written on it was "this time will pass".

Chin up Liz,
Michelle

Hi Liz


My broadband has been down intermittently for some time and I have only just had time to speak to BT in Banglalore for 7 hours to get it fixed but I have sometimes been able to read a bit before it crashes out and have been thinking about and have been very concerned about you. I am pleased to see this evening that you seem to have your spirits lifted. We all know you have had a rotten time of it but you seem to be coping a bit better.

Keep your chin up and try to stay strong.

Love

Angie