I didn't realise until I had mouth cancer, actually how much going out for a meal or a drink i did and what a sociable thing it is too!
I found it very difficult over the Christmas period when I went out. As you say, Chelle, you peer down the menu -"oh good soup!" (again) and have to say no to that glass of wine.
I went out last week to celebrate and my friend took me to a staek house- "oh dear!" I so want to be "normal" again and just go for whatever I can on the menu. It is such a waste though when, after chewing 350 times you STILL can't do that final swallow!
I have to tell people now that really I am well, and getting on in life. I AM NO LONGER A PATIENT UNDER TREATMENT!
Have a good day and keep smiling! (by the way non of my new learners have put me off driving instrucing yet!)
Anne

Hi Chelle,
thank you for reminding me that I am not alone in having the hairs on the back of my neck rise whenever someone says "you're looking so well". Almost everyone I meet comes out with this trite saying so I must conclude either I AM looking so well or it is a catchphrase that is used to say "you're not looking as bad as I thought you would" (LOL) .

I'm sure that most people mean well when they ask about your health. However, is it not human nature to avoid the difficult topics of conversation, that is, the cancer itself, and to break the ice by using a familiar if disingenuous intro: "How ARE you?"

I certainly know the feeling of frustration that we cannot simply order a take-away pizza, or Chinese or Indian when we don't feel like cooking. I'm still on the sugar puffs diet as a fallback and left my own to devices I probably eat little more than that. Thank goodness for a loving and attentive (and ingenious cook) wife and soulmate.

You can also cheer up about the smoky venue problem as this will go away in the UK just as it has over here in Ireland (Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah!)

Congratulations also for feeling confident that you can confide your feelings in this forum.

best of everything, you're sounding pretty good today! (oops)

Robert WT
(in Ireland it's overcast but at least it's not raining today)

Thanks guys!
Robert i couldn't agree more with the "you look well" actually meaning "you're not looking as bad as i expected"!

Today i had "OH NO! YOU'VE CUT OFF YOUR LOVELY HAIR"
To which i replied "no, i had chemo and it fell out"
The poor woman! I think she wanted the ground to swallow her up!

Hi Chell,
In the same vein as "you've cut off ...." was when, two days after being discharged from hospital, and when I was existing between naps, Marion and I were at a wedding. At the wedding breakfast we sat opposite a young woman in her twenties, whom we did not know, and, as you do, we began to talk to her. When I failed to eat my salad, which was very sharp, she if whether I liked it. I explained that for the previous four months I had been in hospital suffering from cancer of the throat and that eating was very difficult.
“You’re kidding!” she responded
“We don’t kid about cancer!” Marion retorted, very swiftly indeed!
The stunned look on her face was priceless.
Fortunately she (we) saw the funny side of it and the conversation went uphill after that.

Yes Robert! It's definately gaurenteed to get a reaction!
I was asked in the week why i was eating "rabbit food" (salad with ceasar dressing). "Are you trying to stay a size 0?" i replied with "no - but i can't eat sandwhiches cuz my saliva glands have been destroyed by radiotherapy, so i'm limited to what i can eat for lunch".
I also had a customer catch the tail end of my conversation - saying how i couldn't eat crisps, chocolate etc. He decided to tease me with a giant box of Thorntons chocs! I put him straight though. I said i'd LOVE them but unfortunately the R/T put a stop to that.
Another gentleman complained about not knowing the day of the week when you retire. I said i felt the same when i was off sick for 5 months. He said "aaahhhh, poooooor you. Should i get you a bunch of flowers or something??" in a sarcastic tone. I said "no thanks, i had plenty of flowers when i was IN HOSPITAL RECOVERING FROM MY CANCER TREATMENT"!!!
As i said to my boss, i do kinda enjoy seeing people squirm when they've been so presumptious! She told me i'd developed quite a sick sense of humour! I told her i thought i'd earnt it!

Chelle
Your posting brought a smile to my face in fact the first one today ive been down latley but what you have been through and what you achieved is fantastic

Regards
Dave and Sue

Hi All,
You should see the stunned looks and silence when I tell them at a get together when the drinks and eats come around that I have not eaten for the last seven years! It really blows them away.
Ananth

Hi Chelle, Love your comments.
One time stays in my mind when with a friend on hols around the pool, A stones throw away was 3 people eating at a table we were by the pool chatting away facing each other we chatted for awhile and my friend decide to go for a walk and when he passed the table one said "can he talk " my friend said yes and I went up to them and said what do you think we have been doing the last 30mins? The Cancer never made me telepathic


ps you coming to the walk?

People are embarrassed to talk about my (your) treatments. If I mention my inability to eat or drink something due to either a lack of saliva or extreme sensitivity to the food type I find the comment is very rarely followed up as a topic of conversation. (I nearly typed conservation then by mistake! A Freudian slip? After all I am extremely interested in my own conservation!)

Tony K

Dave, glad to oblige!! I think if i cant laugh at the situation it all gets far too depressing and serious!

Anther favourite of mine is when people say "you've lost weight!" I reply with " yep, cancer treatment! Cheaper than weight watchers- but i don't reccomend it! You get a life time subscription you see!" I was only 9& half stone before. & my weight aseems to be stuck at 8& half stone Everyone at works gone on a diet now *lol*.

People make some funny comments, like saying "oooh, you wouldn't notice you'd lost hair" When I KNOW this is untrue! it sticks out all over the place! i look like ive had an under cut! & i have devil horns and a mohican when i tie it back *lol*

Paul, i hope to do the walk with my nan and maybe my partner, Hope to see you there!

*lol* @ Tony, yep, or perhaps even a conversation about your conservation??

Thanks all!

Chelle
Thanks when im down like today you cheered me up

Me and Sue hope to do the walk

THanks
Dave
Dave and Sue

Hi Chelle

Great thread, made me smile in places.
It's now 6 months since I finished R/T.

Went out last night with 20 or so people, most of whom I don't know. Had quite a few drinks, meal, lots of talking & jokes. Not one word about health or cancer - brilliant!

I have to repeat myself a bit as my voice isn't good, but otherwise I got treated as "normal". Quite refreshing to socialise with people who don't know your background...

Hi Chelle,
I love to see that you do what we all want to do and let people know who are be sarcastic etc just what you have been through. Your stories have bought a smile to my face, it is like a little bit of mischeif in all of us. I want to share a story with you, my husband was so sick one day in hospital could barely talk but his Doctor arrived to check in on him, Darrel mentioned he has some questions for him. He was concerned that no-one had explained if after all his r/t and chemo would he still be able to have children, that Dr looked at him in shock and said "you do ask the funniest questions", Darrel is 53 and I'm 46 and now can't have children our youngest daughter is 18 and I still laugh when I see the Dr's face look from Darrel to me knowing this.
I hope it brings a smile to your face as well as I enjoy telling that one to people. You keep on doing what you are doing your just great!! Tracey

*lmao* @ Tracey...
That's brilliant!

200, i bet it's quite refreshing going out with people who don't know your situation. I'm treated diferently now. The other day i was 'testing out some new cat toys' (as you do) & playfully whipped a girl i work with. But she wouldn't whip me back (unfortunately) inn case she might "break me" ... so i use that to my advantage

Thanks tracey, I enjoyed that!

Chelle - So R/T turns us to glass... ?