I've been approached by an acquatance whose 78 year old father has just been diagnosed with cancer of the jaw, no further detail given or asked for.

He has been offered the alternative of a 10 hour operation, or a course of radiotherpy.

I'm approached because I've had/have head/neck cancer(this makes me an expert?) and asked which would be best.

First up I referred the guy to this site, but when he pressed me I said that if it was my father at that age I suggesr going for the radiotherapy.

Now I feel guilty for even making a suggestion.

Comments?

I dont think it is right you were put in that position Mike.
I dont know what to say.

Paul

Hi

I think the question should be one of Quality of Life that each treatment would give compared to chance of total erradication of the disease. Ask your friend to ask the surgeon and MDT for their views from this perspective. I am sure Blitz will have her views !

Best wishes

Vinod :coffee:

Pikeman,

Many people still prefer to ask a friend about something that's wrong with their kin. My nextdoor neighbour asked my mam what bowel cancer was like to have!! Like she would know!! turns out her son had it!

Anyway depends how bad the cancer is, I was told radiotherapy could work but woud leave my lower mandible very brittle!

The op. would probably be better providing he has no serious problems!

But like Doc Joshi says refer them to their own specialist!

Thanks for the words people.

For Dr. J: given that the man in question is attending St. Lukes I think I'll nosey a bit a try to find who he's seeing. Apropos your final comment

I did tell my questioner that the best people to talk to were those at the hospital

Hi


Blitz is certainly going tio have her say

For god sake the man is 78 both radiation and surgery could make his lif hell whatever he has
I am not suggesting he has either but if he is in pain then something should be done but isd he is not in to much distress then i would think seriosly abou the operation either option is awful and for a man of 78 could just aBOUT POLISH HIM OFF. Tell the fellow who asked you the decision must be his but spell out the facts Sityuation of whats hes like after the surgery
situatiuon of whats hes like with radiation
situation if he has nothing doneIf it was me at 78 i thinjk[ iw ould say lets gopds will be done
and try to enjoy whatever time is left but thats my opinion. I am probably better off after surgery than all you fellow syufferes but because i had treatment when i had no pain or even knew it was there it has left me totally depressed I hate the neck dissection so please tell the person to think carefully it would be awful if the fellow said after it why did you not leave me alone

Eileen - thanks for your input.

One thing I didn't mention is that the enquirer told me that since diagnosis his father is absolutely terrified and convinced it's a sentence of death.

I said that this is a pretty normal reaction, but the comment did lead me to suggesting at least some course of treatment if only to give hope, even if such hope turns out to be illusory,

I'm seeing the enquirer again tomorrow so I might discover and further developements.

just a thought.....

Could'nt the father be taken to speak to a nurse of the macmillan cancer team (who by the way are excellent at counselling and talking through options) or someone else at the hospital along with his son??..

If that was me it would'nt help my fear to not know all the facts and be able to understand my options fully for myself with the support of my family. It may help the both of them come to a decision with a little more confidence and take a little pressure off his son, who seems to be trying to cope with this by himself for the sake of his fater.