Dear Dawn,
Though I have been reading all the posts, I decided to keep out the topic as being an Indian and claiming to understand English the way both the Americans and the British speak was totally false. Yes - there are people here who are well versed and can give excellent advise even if they have not been through the experience themselves.
I think whether its chewing tobacco or smoking or not smoking - getting cancer is pure chance and nothing else. I used to smoke a lot but still do not attribute my cancer to smoking as the doctors even put voice abuse as a part of my association with cancer. I have a lot of friends who smoke and chew tobacco and they are perfectly hale and hearty. I am the only one among the lot who landed up with the cancer. I do not blame anyone or anything and I never ever get flustered till the event actually happens. There is a reason for everything and I do hope I have made sense as I mentioned my English is really bad as I think in Hindi (my mother tongue) and have to think before I translate.
However, please do not jump to conclusions without any concrete evidence that he (your boyfriend) is due for the ultimate. Such conclusions will only scare you and I dont see any reason why you should be scared. There are so many well versed people here who understand the illness and the possibilities of the same without ever having been though it but have your love for for your boyfriend at heart and will keep giving you advise.
Do wish him all the best from my side.
Ananth

Message to Dr. Joshi,
May I please request you not to edit this message. This is my sincere request. You must have noticed my posts on rdoc have become very sparse as there are a lot of people who are excellent at giving advise (remember the time I apologised to all - this time - I dont), without having been through all that suffering themselves and get alarm belle ringing for ladies like Dawn who must a wreck by now given all the know how she has receieved by those people who speak English and worry about others who speak the same in their native tongue.
Regards,
Ananth

Ananth,
I think the learnered ones HAVE established that smoking is a strong cause for MANY cancers now. & it isn't ALL chance.
Yep, some of us are lucky and can smoke their 50 a day til they die peacefully in their sleep at 100 years old. But some will do the same and die from intoxicating their lungs with tar and chemicals - you've seen those images of the blackened lungs. Some WILL die from their smoking related Head & Neck cancer. Some are just predispositioned to their fate. & then there are some, like me, who have never smoked and get cancer anyway. I'm sure it DID happen for a reason - but not a spiritual reason. But a physical celular reaction kind of reason!
As you say - what will be will be.
& until the scientists and Dr's figure out the trigger - what makes some more receptable and others not so - we'll just hve to be rsponsible for the way we live our lives

Hi Michelle,
I have no doubts on what you say as it is the truth. The only problem is that my mind was thinking in another langauge (Hindi & Spanish- my native accent) and could not really translate the same into English. The only thing I can blame on my not understanding the question and replies must have been because of this terrible control of English I have. I guess that really answers all my posts.
Ananth

Thank you all so much for sharing your personal experiences and for providing your suggestions to me. I have taken all of your comments into thought and consideration and I appreciate all of your contributions to my post. I will keep you all posted on the situation with my boyfriend and let you know if I need anymore advice, etc. Thanks from the bottom of my heart.