There was a review/extract from this book in the Times Magazine yesterday and I thought that it was a very honest account of living with cancer.

It's not like that, actually by Kate Carr (to be published end of September)

http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0091894808/onthewebcom-21/026-5363967-5071643

She said that it wasn't the best thing that had ever happened to her (as many books seem to testify) and described her facing her mortality on a daily basis. How she felt that every 'clear' check up was cheating fate so the next one was more likely to show a return of the cancer. How she would never know how her cancer had affected her children, as you could never turn the clock back.

If you can get hold of yesterday's magazine I'd recommend a look. I think I'll buy the book when it comes out too to read more.

Spouse, Why buy this book I do not understand?
How can yuo link someone going throiugh Breast Cancer and someone with Mouth & Neck Cancer beats me!

PLEASE dont tell me they go through the same because they DO NOT
:banghead: :sigh:

Paul

Sorry Paul�.What do you mean? Do you think it is less traumatic to suffer from breast cancer than head and neck cancers? I don�t think so�. To me anyone who has the dire misfortune to have cancer or has suffered from any form of cancer cannot be compared to one or other. Cancer in all forms is completely unique to its victim. Only comparison which may be made, is how one copes mentally with the situation.

I would suspect this book deals with the psychological effect.

Regards

Rosemary

I have had so many books that people have wanted me to read about CANCER,,,I feel at this point I don't need to read one, I need to write one.. No one can touch what this does to us individually. What it does to one it may not to another. Some people may have a host of friends and family while another has no one... There are so many different situations,,, that right now a book about CANCER is the last thing I want to read. I would rather read about something Happy, Fun, Loving, Dreaming, Laughing, Brillant or just plain Silly...I know what Cancer does....Just my point,,,,nothing against a good read....Always Vicki Lynn

Dear Rosemary, If you read my posting NO was I suggested it was any worse or better or different
What i was saying
do they look different
Do they get treated different because they look abnormal
Can they speak for them self
this is what I mean

Paul

Hello Paul�.. Sorry if I misinterpreted your posting, but so many young women have been hit by Breast Cancer and succumbed to this dreadful disease. If they had been given the choice: Not looking cosmetically as you should, speech included - Or you will be dead within a year. Well...... I know which one I would choose.

Regards always

Rosemary

Ladies, Ladies,,,I thought this was a site were one could speak their thoughts, vent there feelings, cry if they wanted, scream if need be, without being judged or crusified for it...Paul has every right to say what he feels without being questioned or ridiculed by it...AS do you or I. We are all in this together, aren't we??? Or perhaps I took what you wrote wrong.. If one cannot vent there fears, thoughts, angers, laughs, jokes and stories here, then why would we all have joined in the first place. I know I would not have..I need a place to go that I can let it all out----even if it is politicly incorrect. If this is not the place then I shall find one. I am not always going to say the RIGHT thing, at this point I don't even know what the RIGHT thing is. But I do know that I need to talk with others that are in the same shape as I am in to get some relief, some answers, some sympathy. So let us all calm down some,,CANCER is CANCER. I think that we all know that. However I will say this--Oral CANCER cannot be hidden by a blouse or a pair of slacks. Oral CANCER hits the very area that we are all judge by a society that is ignorant to it, THE FACE. I took what Paul said as exactly that. I also took it to say that you can one day have your breast re-built and look almost normal. Oral CANCER, you cannot. We need to be understanding to each other, we are all either going thru, or have gone thru, or are about to go thru---HELLLLLL, Vicki Lynn

Dear Vicki Lyn � I would not dream of ridiculing or questioning anyone � especially Paul�. Paul has been through a tremendous amount physically and mentally. I hope Paul thought, as I did, it was merely different points of view on a very delicate subject. No offence was intended to Paul or anyone in this forum, if offence has been taken � my apologies.

Regards

Rosemary

As Rosemary so eloquently said "if offence has been taken, I apologise"

On reading the article I felt some empathy with what she was saying about facing mortality, tempting fate and not making plans further than a few months in advance 'just in case'

These are all things that I have felt in the last few months.

For example the first time I really cried with my husband was the day he was given the all clear after his first op. I wasn't crying cos I was happy. I was sh!t scared. We now had the future to face and it was never going to be the same again. We would never be 'us' again. We would be the cancer survivor and his wife. I was grieving for the future we had planned as it was never going to happen.

The article was more use to me than all the 'cancer is the best thing that ever happened to me, it turned my life around' books, because it made me realise that I wasn't wrong to think like this.

I thought that others may find them useful. I knew full well it was for breast cancer, not oral cancer, but thought that there was some valid points for all cancer victims.

But then I am only a spouse, not a cancer sufferer myself, so maybe I misjudged it badly.

Apologies again if I offended.

p.s. Vicky Lynn - I think that you would write a great book.