Well, here I am again with another "Has anyone..." question! This last week, as Doug has been getting better physically, he seems to be sinking lower emotionally/mentally. It is almost as if he is afraid to enter the "real world" ...he stresses about anything and everything to the point where he gets "the shakes". Does this sound unusual, or particularly out of the ordinary? Any advice would be appreciated.

Hi Belle.
It's about a year or just less since Doug's last treatment - early days still when you are recovering from such ardous surgery and other treatments!
If Doug isn't taking any anti-depressants I would advise him to see an understanding GP (Doc) to prescribe something that suits. Believe you me Doug might be the last person to realise he needs it.
I thought my neck cancer was killing me after I had finished my treatments - but it was my mind!
It took nearly 2 months for the anti-depressants to "kick in" and I still take them and am in a much better frame of mind for doing so.

Good luck to you and Doug - He'll eventually get there - as I am doing!

cheers Tony K

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Tony K,

It's true that it takes time to pull yourself up from the pits of despair. I can't recommend any one thing in particular but it's taken me about three years to get back to some kind of normality. I've been through severe depression and have been hooked on Morphine (both of which needed hospital treatment) but somehow i've come out on top. Doug, you are not alone. Our cancer and its treatment is a massive shock to the system, and the depression that goes with it is as debilitating as the treatment.
It takes a big effort to move forward and to try and find the pre-cancer spirit.

Thank you both for the encouragement and for just letting me know that this is "normal". He has been on several different anti-depressents..they can't seem to get it quite right yet but I didn't realize how long it can take to "kick in" as you said. That is good to know. I am so thankful for this forum and all the great support! Thanks you! thank you!

Hello my friend,

I send you big hugs from the east coast. Bless your heart, Belle... it's hurdle after hurdle for your sweet Doug, and YOU. I know how badly you wish things to be more "normal" again and that Doug would "turn the corner" in a significant way. I so remember the sadness and frustration of wanting Danny to heal (physically and emotionally) faster than God apparently had in mind. It was just heartbreaking to see him struggle for months and months on end, and feeling so much less than the man he once was. There was no particular "turning point" in Dan's journey when he pulled out of his dark depression. Time is the great healer, and that's what it took for him. I just had a very hard time being patient because it was so sad seeing him suffer and struggle with the "inner demons" that cancer invites into the psyche of human beings who were once so vital and mentally strong.

Danny and I were also told that antidepressants take time to make a significant difference. (It seems as though I recall as much as two months.) I will say that the medication did work for him (once enough time had passed for his body to respond) because we tried at one point to get him off of it (apparently before we should have), and he had a very visible relapse of "the blues". (I had not realized how much the drug was helping until several weeks after he stopped taking it.) He went back on the antidepressant for several more months. The next time we tried to stop, everything was okay. Today he is doing just fine without it. He still occasionally feels down-in-the-dumps, but now manages these bouts of post-cancer depression without medication.

Doug will get there too, Belle. I know it seems right now that things may never change for the better... but they WILL. Steve, Tony and Danny have all pulled themselves from the pits of severe depression and give their testimonies of mental healing today for you and Doug to draw hope and understanding. Doug, too, will be delivered from the grips of post-cancer dispair and better days are just down the road for you both... I PROMISE!

Belle, I care about both you and Doug very much. Your struggles are so similar to those of me and my Dan... just last year. Many things you have said about Doug reminds me a lot of my own sweet fellow. I just know in my heart that Doug will soon be "on the way UP", and you will both know joy again as individuals, and as the great couple you are.

FMH,

Melanie