Hello Debs and Family,

Really don't know what to say but, so sorry to hear of your loss. Trev will be greatly missed.

Take Care

Sue x

Hi Debs and family
Yet another member of Trev's fan club who will miss hearing about him. So sorry to hear of your loss. Hope you can get some comfort from all the lives he touched.

Chris XX

Hello Everyone
Have a few moments of quiet time so thought I'd catch up just to let you know I'm still kicking!
I've checked in each day and followed your lovely posts and it's been great to know you're all out there caring but it's also been a bit overwhelming. Thanks.
It's been so full on this week. I've tried to get all formalities over and done with as quickly as possible so that I don't have anything to think/worry about and I'm happy with how things are progressing.
I'm usually the person in control of everything however I'm being spoilt rotten. My beautiful daughter has been working herself flat out and not letting me do much (nothing at all, in fact). It isn't easy to let go but I'm appreciating it, reality will hit hard and fast enough!
Tomorrow we're having a celebration for Trevor. Friends from Victoria have been staying for a few days and of course Aaron is still home and between them all, they've managed to get some clearing up done that has been left wanting while Trevor was attended to. Progress ~ it's nice.
I'll catch up with you again when I can, after the dust has settled and the house is echoing from lack of activity! I hope everyone is OK. I haven't had a chance to read through other threads.
Take care, all
Love
Deborah

Good girl Peta.Daughters are such a blessing.
Take care my dear friend i will celebrate Trevors life and his legacy in my thougts

Deborah

So sorry to hear about Trev. Though I don't post often I have laughed and cried with you both every step of the way, as have so many others on this site.Words are totally inadequate at times like this.
Take care
Sheila

This is a very nice site. Very rarely do you see message boards with so many caring and loveing people. Support is on a magnatude of true freindship. I congradulate everyone for being so thoughtful and understanding. Like the good people in your family -Markus

hope you coping okay this week Deb you are in my thoughts . I hope you decide to keep this thread running i think it has been a lovely thread and that you and Trev have brought us all together though your love kindness and humour xx

Hello Everyone
Well here I am again. Peta and I have come down to our friends' beach house ~ the one where Trevor and I came with Dad the week before Easter. We arrived last night and have our dogs with us so we can all have a rest, veg out and enjoy the sea air. Ahhhhhh bliss......
We held a wake on Friday afternoon for Trevor and it was great, I think. There were heaps of people there and everyone mixed well and generally gave Trevor a beaut send off. It was very fitting.
I think I have mentioned before that Trevor's sister in law is Scottish. Before she and John (T's brother) left on Monday to return home, Margaret gave me a gift which she said was Scottish, or at least her family's tradition when someone died. It was some bulbs which she and John suggested we plant in MY garden, which Trevor had claimed as HIS over the last few months and which gave him a great deal of pleasure. I thought it was a lovely idea but thought I'd extend it somewhat. Peta had a pack of assorted bulbs and I bought some more, different ones (we had heaps and heaps of the things!)and I invited everyone who came on Friday to plant one/some bulbs in Trevor's memory, anywhere they liked explaining how he loved that particular part of the garden etc. I had also bought some pottery bulb pots and put those out too.
It's going to be so beautiful in the spring to have flowers coming up all higgledy piggledy throughout the garden. In the meantime I won't know what's been planted where and it will be a real treat to see shoots coming up in various, unstructured places. A beautiful idea. Some people even said they were going home to plant some bulbs in their own gardens in his memory. Share the love ........
My very best friend in the whole world, her daughter and three grand daughters came over from Victoria and stayed with us til yesterday. Talk about spoiling a person! Between Peta and them, I haven't lifted a finger all week. It's been very difficult to sit back however it's what they wanted to do and it was great not to have to be the one doing the thinking and planning. They are all National Treasures!
Peta has some time off work to regroup as well and it's beaut that she has come away with me just to relax. I really don't know where I would be without her. She is always great value but I was so appreciative of all of her help with Trevor. She would be up through the night helping me to help him and that meant he was able to stay home for as long as possible. He was very, very grateful but upset that he was being a burden on her. She wouldn't have it any other way. On top of that she was making cuppas for visitors and generally keeping the house functioning while I spent most of my time with Trevor.
I'm writing those words on Trevor's behalf because he was very grateful for all the time and effort she put in to helping both himself and me and was so happy that she has moved back home. Knowing I wasn't going to be alone after he went and left me, helped to put his mind at rest and I know he would've acknowledged her if he had been able.
I think all the love and kind wishes you have sent our way have been a great help because I am feeling fine ~ broken hearted, but fine. Everything was in order and all has been done and dusted in the last week to finalise things so life is very still and quiet for a while. I have had lots (and lots) of offers for 'time out' so will probably take advantage of some of those before I have to get back to work (providing my job is still there!). So, to you all ~ thank you from the bottom of my heart for your love, support, kindness and good wishes over the last months particularly. I only hope I'm able to repay, in some way what Trevor and I have received since being members of the MCF.
Love yez all
Deborah
x

Dear Debs,

It raised my spirits to see your name on the boards again. I really enjoyed reading your post and think that the memory garden is a fabulous idea and will be a fantastic tribute to your remarkable Trev.

It sounds as if you are doing remarkably well all things considered and your wonderful daughter Peta must be an enormous source of strength.

I have just read your post on Paul and Bell's threads and your remarks about your calmness. I remember feeling an enormous sense of relief when my dad died after a horrible battle with lung cancer (at 59) that metastisised to his brain and gradually paralysed him. I know losing a father is not the same as losing a soulmate, but I had done so much grieving during his illness and was so glad that he was no longer in pain his death was something of a relief.

I am sure you will hit a wall as you say, and you are bound to miss Trev enormously, but you sound as if you are well prepared.

I hope you enjoy your time at the water with the dogs. I bet they miss Trev. Chaz and I have finally registered with a pet rescue centre and are very much hoping we can rehome a dog in the near future as we are both getting fat and need more exercise.

Much love,

Cathy

Hi Deb, good to hear from you. I know it's early days and all but you sound so together given the circumstances. I doubt I'd even want to look at a computer if it was me. Good on you.
Enjoy the time out, take care, Hagg.

Hey Debs,
Just hope you're OK and want you to know I'm still thinking of you. It's lovely to see you posting again!
Much love
Margaret

What a beautiful idea with the bulbs.

Just like Trev did - they will be popping up here and there bringing joy to everyone who sees them.

How very lovely and how very fitting.

dear deb
sounds like trev had a lovely send off which we knew he would.what a lovely gift of the bulbs too.i am really happy that you have such a caring family to help you through deb,you must be so proud of them.you will be up and down emotionaly which is to be expected but we are all here for you and think of you often.with much love shirl xxx

Hello Everyone
I've been browsing through this thread and it's been very comforting. How lovely and caring you all are. Whatever would we have done without you all?
Here I am tucked up in bed accompanied by my friend's dog and cat (the latter prowling all over the keyboard!). I am in Perth in Western Australia enjoying a holiday with my beautiful friend of nearly 40 years thanks to the kindness of another friend. How lucky am I?
This is my first trip to the west and it's very exciting. Trevor and I were always GOING TO come over for a visit ........ Please don't put off anything if you can help it.
If you're out there, Hagg ~ my friend and her other half are members of the Ulysses motorcycle club (I think you have to be over 50 to join so they just make it LOL). Ron has a few different bikes so I might get some snaps if I can for your interest. They do a lot of long distance riding ie west to east coast of Australia. A trip not to be sneezed at.
Before I left home on Wed I almost killed my silly self and didn't make the plane. I stood up on the step ladder forgetting I had already opened the overhead cupboard. Buried the corner of the door into my brain (or so it felt!) and then continued to rip an inch of two of my forehead open! I spent three hours in hospital getting my head sewn back on. Hopefully by tomorrow all traces of swelling and bruising will be gone and I'll only have the stitches to content with. Such fun!!!
I have been dealing with thank you cards over the last few days. That hasn't been as daunting as I thought it would be however dropping a pile into the mail box yesterday gave me an awful feeling that perhaps Trevor really is gone and won't be coming back. I don't much like that idea.
I've been checking in every day to see how you all are but everyone seems to have gone to ground! Are you all out enjoying the sunshine? Good luck to you, I say. The weather here has been superb ~ around 20 and gloriously, warmly sunny after foggy, foggy mornings. Ahhhh.
I will be heading back home on the 17th ~ back to reality (I'm trying to avoid that at all costs) and then back to work mid July. A new life begins.
I hope you are all well and if not that you are finding a positive in each day.
Love to the lot of you
Deborah
xo

Deborah,

Glad to here you are doing well especially after that awful incident with the cupboard...been there...done that My students were talking about places to visit and someone mentioned Australia and I said, "That's where my friend lives." It came out so natural it even surprised me. They asked if I had ever gone to visit him. I told them about your Tevor and one student told me that I was lucky to have met him even if it was by computer...I sure was. I hope your return home brings you comfort and joy although it will be hard, maybe you could think about how that home was filled and still is filled with so much love. It doesn't run out. It stays with you to comfort you.

Noemi