Hi,
Hope you dont mind me asking but could you please say a prayer for my dad and dont forget my mum. He has now chosen to starve and dehydrate himself only taking a small spoonful a day of food and sips of water to try and alleviate his dry mouth. He is just a shell of a man now and just lies in bed Heis no longer able to speak and doesnt have much strength to write his requests for Morphine or the new one "a wee dram" (nip of whiskey). My mum is now scared to sleep and keeps checking him with a mirror.
Please please for anyone out there thinking of giving up the fight please dont do it. Your loved ones are out there and they would take this horrible disease for themselves if they could. I think ive said b4 that it is selfish of us to want him to live for us especially when in so much pain but the hardest part is letting go.
I really thought i was prepared for this but cant see the keyboard for tears now. We can never be fully prepared and have to take each day as it comes now. It has brought me a great deal of comfort on this site (even if its only been a couple of months) and i would like to thank you all for your caring and kind words. As i said 1 last request is that you pray for my parents.
You will all be in my thoughts and i wish you all the strength to carry on the fight .

xx

Tracy-ann.
My thoughts are with you and your family at this time. It was my birthday yesterday and i've gone through another year without reccurence of cancer so another year beckons. I hope another year will beckon for your father.
I hope he finds the strength to turn things around.
Stay strong.
Steve

Tracy Ann, This is never an easy time. I pray for your family that there will be a positive turnaround.
All my prayers,

Molly

Dear Tracey Ann,
I will indeed say a prayer for your family. I can relate fully to your pain and suffering and watching a strong man become weak and feeble. I watched this happen to my husband also and I know what you mean about not having the strength to write any more notes.
I think you must just continue to love and support your Father's wishes and be with him. He will decide when the time is right. Some people will look for permission to leave this earth and maybe that is what he is looking for.

Give him a little taste of his "wee dram" and just love him all you can.........

sincerely
Moira

Dear Tracey Anne, my thoughts & prayers will be with you at this very difficult time. On a practical note, it sounds as though your Mum is distraught with worry(I know that feeling well)
Dont know wherabouts in Scotland you are, but you may have access to a Marie Curie nurse who could look after your Dad during the night to let your Mum get a sleep. Of course she may not want this.
Contact your Health centre &/or District nurse & ask for help.
What about you? Keep on talking to us,you know you can say/ask anything on here.
Lots of love & a hug. Fran.

Dear Tracey Anne,
My thoughts & prayers are with you & your family too.
Love & hugs. Yvonne

Heavenly Father hear our prayers for Tracey-Ann, her parents and wider family as her Dad faces the trauma and pain of serious illness. Encourage all the family and especially Tracey-Ann's Mum with the knowledge of your infinite love and through them comfort Dad as his journey in this mortal life comes to a dignified and peaceful close. Let Dad know that a welcome awaits him in your Kingdom where pain, fear and heartache shall never again burden his spirit. Give the family Faith that death is not the end and the pain of separtion is temporary. After the natural grief for the loss of a loved one Heavenly Father let the family rejoice in Dad's life and may his memory remain in their hearts and their tears of grief gradually change over time to tears of happy reminicences and the celebration of a cherished life lived in love.

Heavenly Father we all must come home eventually to receive your judgement so we pray for Tracey-Ann's family confidently and in partcular her Dad and Mum in the name and with the authority of our Lord Jesus Christ whose own sacrafice set us free from sin and the power of death though His infinite love for us your Creation. Amen

Tracy Ann,

Your request for prayer is being heard loud and clear. I add you, Dad and Mum to my own prayer list too, along with those who've already responded. Prayer is powerful.

You may be interested to read a series of postings by "Debbie" under the "Questions and Answers" forum of this message board. She is also struggling with a parent's cancer and may have to ultimately accept her mother's decision to refuse further treatment. Perhaps the two of you might be able to connect in some way given that your challenges seem similar.

My heart goes out to you, Dad, and all the family. Tonight the Lord will hear our collective prayers on your behalf, and I hope it will give you peace knowing so many people truly care.

From my heart,

Melanie

Thank you all for your kinds words. Dad is in St Columbus Hospice now and they are trying to keep him as comfortable as possible. He has been having hallusinations due to the amount of pain killers. We have been told he is very ill and frail and it wont be long. Mum is staying with him untill the end. So thank-you all again for the strength i have recieved through you all and pray that you all get through this a lot easier than i have.

010706.
went to see dad last night. they have given him a cathatar(not sure of spelling) and there is clots of blood, i had to ask because well i'm not a doctor maybe (*crosses fingers*)it wasnt blood, but it was. i asked if this was his body packing in and the nurse said most probably but could be an infection, asked how they would treat this and she said they will "probably just leave it just now". Maybe i'm wrong and should have asked her but im thinking the just for now was thrown in for good measure at the end of that statement. Bear in my mind this is only my opinion and please tell me if i'm wrong but would they bother treating him for this if he only has days to go??
Anyway today i will go down again and sit and watch the huge strong 65 year old (he had is birthday 170606) man with a hearty laugh and kind touch and always a sensible loving word, lie there like a ??????? and i will remimber the man described because now that is all we have of him is the vision of piggy back rides when i was 3 and travelling all round the country with me when i was dancing. I know mine and mums journey only started a few months ago but i also realise that this in itself is the start of another journey.
Please accept my apologies for having my wee rant here but although i am lucky to have lots of loving friends and family i find it easier to get it all out in here without catching that look from people that they feel sorry for me & mum. Am i wrong to say i dont want their sympathy and am i selfish to ask for their strngth??


Loving thoughts always

a quick link to the hospice. my hat goes of to these nurses
http://www.stcolumbashospice.org.uk/patient_services/inpatient.shtml

Tracy-Ann

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Tracy-ann,

Hello Tracey-ann,

Words can do little to ease the trauma of losing your Dad, save to say that none of us on this site would wish his suffering to continue a second longer than necessary and we trust that his palliative care is first class.

Your anxiety regarding care is understandable though hopefully not warranted.

Parting is so very painful and regardless when it comes or whether expected or not the reality of grief visits all of us sooner or later and it is not pleasant. We all take our own time to deal with loss so do not worry if some of your family take longer or shorter to adjust to the new circumstance and do not assume that because it is not evident on the surface that a person's grief is not as acute as your own. There is a relationship between Man and Wife that children cannot empathise with, we do not choose our parents but our parents chose each other and our parents love and trust and deepest desire to avoid hurt for the other is something that children may feel but cannot however close to their parents judge the depth of. Your Mum needs time on her own and well as with you and your siblings to say her own goodbye.

Grief affects us all differently but nonetheless universally just now the memories and the fear and the pain are raw emotions of bitterness and hurt and the tears you cry will be stinging sore and frequent perhaps making you physically sick, but gradually the memories will indstead of being cutting reminders of loss eventually become comforting celebrations of a love and life shared and enjoyed.

My thoughts and prayers are with you, your siblings and Mum as you wait, desperate to help but yet helpless in the circumstance, if you have Faith rely on God to be with you not only sharing but fully understanding your suffering far better than I or any of your friends here on this site can ever do. If you have no Faith or feel it being tested to its limit just now then rely on your family and friends who will understand the anger and sense of betrayal that you feel today.

I care that you are suffering today and send a virtual hug and invite you to cry on my shoulder as long as needed until the pain eases.

alan