Being a care giver for a loved one with a serious illness such as head and neck cancer is very difficult. It can be extremely hard to watch their loved one suffer especially if there is little that they can do to reverse the illness. It can be physically and emotionally very taxing. Care givers should, however, realize how important is what they are doing even when they get no or little appreciation.

Care givers often fear the potential death of their loved one and life without them. This can be very anxiety provoking and depressive. Some cope by refusing to accept the diagnosis of cancer and believe that their loved ones illness is less serious in nature.

Care givers often sacrifice their own well being and needs to accommodate those of the person they care for. They often have to calm down their loved one’s fears and support them despite being often the target of their vented anger, frustrations and anxieties. These frustrations may be exaggerated in those with head and neck cancer who have often difficulties in expressing themselves verbally. Care givers frequently suppress their own feelings and hide their own emotions so as not to upset the sick person. All of this is very taxing and difficult.

It is very useful for the patient and their care givers to openly and honestly talk to each other sharing their feelings, worries, and aspiration. This may be more difficult in those who have difficulties in speaking. Jointly meeting the health care providers allows for better communication and facilitates shared decision making.

Unfortunately the well being of care givers is frequently ignored as all the attention is focused on the sick individual. It is essential, however, that the needs of the care givers are not ignore. Getting physical and emotional support through friends, family, support groups, and mental health professionals can be very helpful for the care giver. Professional counseling can be an individual or joint one with other family members and or the patient. They should find time for themselves to “recharge” their own batteries. Having time dedicated to their own needs can help them continue to be a source of support and strength for their loved ones.

Itzhak Brook MD

Blog Site: http://dribrook.blogspot.com/

Your blogs are very insightful Thank you!

Thanks, for bringing up this point, Itzhak.

The well being of care-givers is often forgotten and it is important that they be given the support they need. Professionals and the health service have yet to provide this in a systematic way. We hope this message board helps provide the support to carers too and we can, in time, be able to provide carers access to some guidance and professional support.

Best wishes
Vinod