Hi All! I have to say that I am at the end of my rope here....Doug's depression is getting worse all of the time. He was hospitalized for a week in the Psych Unit which seemed to help while he was there but now that he is home he suffers from terrible anxiety attacks and doesn't want to leave the house. He feels like getting back into the "Real World" is too scary, he looks different, he has lost so much of his voice and feels to tired that he may "break in two". He overdosed on Fentenoyl a couple weeks ago and almost died if I hadn't called 911. I am scared and don't know how to help him. I have called all his doctors, therapists, social workers and no one has any answers! He says he is in constant pain where his scars on his throat are but I don't know if that is his dependency on pain meds or what? If anyone has any advice...I am out here floundering!!!!!

Hello Belle70,I understand totally the situation you are in at the moment and it is truly frighteneing.I have just turned the corner with my husband in the last few weeks and have not been on the forum for somewhile.My husband underwent chemo plus 35 radiotherapy sessions for Nasopharyngeal cancer and was rendered a virtual invalid and housebound since completion of treatment in December.He was totally depressed unable to eat and survived on his peg tube .No energy,weakness and constant leg agitation, plus persistant vomiting.He spent every day in bed and only up in his chair for 3 hours during the day if i was lucky.He mentally shut down and would not have any visiots at all except our 3 daughters who came every 3 weeks for a week-end.The addiction to his oxynorm was a way of sleeping the days and nights away to try and shut everthing out.
I completely lost it at one of the check up appointments and said we could not go like this and surely something could be done to help him overcome the side effects of treatment and also his mental state.Our Cancer liason nurse and oncologist plus his ENT Specialist set up a rehabillitation programme with our local hospice.My husband was admitted there for 3 weeks.During this time they changed his medication and got him settled on an anti depressant that worked!!!!!! also put him on a low dosage steroid which withn 48 hours had him walking ,feeling stronger and also EATING!!.They restored his confidence and included Physiotherapy plus phsycology.I cannot believe the difference in him.He has bounced back and regained a zest for life and hope.He still gets tired and has a few problems but they are now managable for him and we are at last progressing.The difference this has made for him is truly like a miracle and i am indebited to them .I feel the treatment they are administering now may be producing better results in cancer cure ,but the devastation to the patient mentally and physically needs better care and understanding in order for the patient to get back some quality of life.Unfortunately the Cancer specialist teams do not always have the answers or the time to deal with this.The Palliative care team in the Hospices in the uk appear to be better qualifyed in this area and if you can get access to one of these where you live I really feel this is your answer.It certainly turned the corner for us and i was so desperate but could not get my husband on his feet or out of the front door.He just wanted to die.At the moment he is now managing to eat a little ,walk and go out in the car.He even is talking on the phone now and has got used to his new speech and now accepting the changes in his life and concentrating on the positives.I hope this may be of some help to you.I would be delighted to be here for you if you need to sound off or just chat as I understand the desperation and worry you are going through. This forum has been a life saver for me and i have picked up so much helpful information and support.It is so comforting to know that there is a place you can come where you are with other people all suffering and fighting there way through this terrible disease.
Thinking of you and your husband .Try and keep positive there is help ther it is just trying to tap into it and get it setup for your husband.
Bell .



Always here if you want to chat.

Vinod's Note: I have removed Bell's email address to save her being spammed. Belle70, you can contact her by using the private message facility and exchange email addresses in private that way.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Dr Vinod K Joshi,

Hello Bell and Belle70 Whilst I was busy reading through previous posts of yours Belle70, trying to wrack my brains for some words of encouragement, (and not coming up with much in the way of help that hasn't previously been said) lo and behold your marvellous post popped up Bell and thank God for it. I'm sure it's just what Belle70 wants to hear right now from someone who knows EXACTLY what she is going through. As you say Bell, this website is worth its weight in gold with the amount of information and support that comes winging its way from caring people who just want to reach out and help each other - and try to make this b-awful disease a bit easier to cope with. Ding-dong to both of you!! Bx

Bell and Brenda,
I do appreciate your advice and kind thoughts. What frustrates me the most is that I have talked to the hospital social workers and oncologist nurse about some type of rehad facility to help get him some pain management skills and detox from all that crud they put in his system and of course, help with these anxiety attacks. The anser I receieved was that "No such place exists" which I find hard to believe but yet....I haven't found anything except group homes for the elderly which I think would push him over the edge. In addition, he has been on several anti-depressents and each time he goes on, he gets MORE depressed! Dangerously so. In fact, I think he is better when he is off them but the doctors keep pushing it because here in the US they think everything can be fixed with another pill! He goes to a psychiatrist once a week but I have sit in on some of these sessions and, I don't know, she seems to like the sound of her own voice more than anything. I wish I were wealthy and had some options for him...like some health spa where he could get massage therapy and acupuncture and I don't know...whatever would help! He has been eating since April and should be getting the feeding tube out next month but nothing gives him hope or makes him happy and seeing him this way makes me feel so helpless and I can't escape the fear and anxiety of either one of us. What I did find interesting was your mentioning steroids....what does this do? Thanks again and sorry to sound dismissive or negative but the usual things don't seem to be working for him and I am afraid he will hurt himself either on purpose or accident.

Hello Belle.I am quite amazed that Seattle does not have a Hospice system set up where there are trained doctors and nurses plus a palliative care team.I know in this country it is mainly charity based and as far as i am concerned this should be changed to fully funded goverment assistance.However these thoughts are of no use to you at this time.
The low dosage steroid that my husband was given was the main life changing factor for him in producing new found strength ,appetite and clear positive thinking.There was a marked change in 48 hours with Paul.He was given 2mg ofDexamethasone tablets which he received 1 tablet every morning for 4 weeks.After 4th week he was reduced to 500 micrograms for 1 week then 1 500 microgram every second day till we were off them.Paul is doing well sometimes we have a an off day but he can have a tablet now and again to give him a boost.These tablets with Paul work within a few hours and have been a life saver.He has now had his peg tube removed and is recovering much better now.Maybe if you ask your doctor or GP to start this treatment you may get the same results.As far as i am aware this medication is used widely here for cancer patients with positive rsults but can only be used for a short period .It definately helps turn the corner mentally and physically.
I am sure they must know of this in Seattle and with computers now it is easy for them to check this out and confer with hospitals or the Hospices here .I would be happy to pass on Doctors name and hospice here to you that helped us if your doctor wanted to check this out with them Belle.
As regards the anti deprsessant.They also made Paul worse and can be trial and error till you find right one .My husband is on 20mg of citalopram and has no side effects with them except odd hot spells which have now gone .He is now ready to come off these shortly too.Theyare also just a minimum dose as my husband seems to react to medications very badly if they are not correct and is sensitive if u like to nearly everything.
Please try the Dexamaethasone short term treatment as i do feel this may be your answer and i dont see why your own GP could not do this for you.
Hope to hear from you soon Belle 70.
Keep your chin up pet you will both get there soon .I am confident your husband may achieve same results as Paul.
Bell x

Hello Belle70

This article Crawling out of the deep hole of cancer depression is helpful and mentions the use of steroids. Show the article to your GP if necessary. Things can get better. Take care.

Best wishes
Vinod

Link: Cancer and Depression poll

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Dr Vinod K Joshi,

I wanted to thnak everyone for their suggestions and support. Bell....I did ask Doug's doctor about the steroids but they said that particular one has a potential for serious side effects including advanced depression so they don't want to risk it. He has an appointment at the end of the month with a pain clinic so we will see! This is so frustrating and tiring!!!!! Thanks for everything! I will keep in touch!

Hi Bell
I too had a spell of deep depression and was eventually put on citalopram 20 mg which (when it kicked in) did it's job well and I, slowly at first, restarted my life again. The only side effect has been a reduction in libido.
I came off them suddenly for a few weeks (after being on them for 16 months) and had some dizzy/nausea side effects for a couple of weeks. Due to some work pressures (after I had gone back to work part-time) I went back on them - and kicked the job into touch.
I wasn't aware of the use of steroids - thanks for the info
Tony K

Hello Tony,
Doug was on citalopram but had a very bad reaction to it. Now he is on ....mirtizapine? I think that is it. The libido thing...well...he has felt so sick since this whole thing started a year ago that, that hasn't even been in the forefront to begin with. Doug hasn't felt too cuddly anyway as every time I give him a hug he worries his feeding tube will fall out (as it has fallen out before at weird times like when he is sweeping the floor or making breakfast) Anyway...his surgeon said they might be taking that out in four weeks when he gets his next esphageal stretch as he hasn't had to use it since June. I think just getting that taken out will make a big difference in his outlook/depression issues as he hates that tube like nothing else! But hey! glad to hear that you are doing well and working although...wouldn't you like a nice long vacation after everything you have been through? I want to take Doug somewhere when he starts to feel better just to get away from the atmosphere of the "sick room" where he has spent too many hours in pain.