I've been away from the board due to my elderly mum of 90 having recently been diagnosed with heart failure and now I'm nursing her in my home. This has made my free time very limited with this my first visit here in about 2 months.

She was also diagnosed with stage 3 oesophagitis with about 50% damage, but no suspicious lesions (not cancer). As someone who has been unable to eat due to either non saliva/poor tastebud radiotherapy problems or gastric reflux oesophagitis disease I thought I could cope with help encouraging or motivating her to eat again and would be good at knowing what she wanted. Sadly I am really bad at it - my husband seems to handle giving her small portions far better than I can despite the fact I've been in the identical position myself. I beat myself up when she just has a mouthful of a food and won't have more. She won't have fortisips or similar products.

Last Friday she was also prescribed Motillin and I have since noticed a slight eating improvement. Slight! Half a small new potato, a quarter sandwich or a dessertspoon of jelly for a day of meals is better than the days of no meals!

Anyone any ideas in coping with caring for a loved one. It's so hard seeing them suffer and refusing food.

Also wonder if anyone else has used Motillin with good results alongside twice daily Omeprazole - the latter taken for 3 weeks has helped but just wondering if the Motillin is extra helpful.

Pauline,
I'd just like to say, don't be disheartened for all your efforts. It sounds very psychological. It's our instinct to want to feed and nurture those we love. Everyone desapaired at trying to get me to eat and wept when i eventually managed it.
Your food tips have been an ENORMOUS help to me. Especially the jaffa cakes dipped in my hot chocolate as i didn't think i'd have anything suitable to snack on again - i have them every day. & your tortilla wraps. & x-mas pud (i'd love the recipe for your home made one if you ever get the chance).
Thank you for helping me.
Michelle

Hello Pauline. I'm so sorry to hear of your Mum's illness and the difficulties you are having in getting her to eat. As Michelle has said, you have been so inspirational in helping others, especially with recipes and tips on eating.

As someone who can only manage to eat a pureed diet, I am probably stating the obvious to suggest that you liquidise something of your own meals and tempt her with a small helping. You don't need me to suggest the foods but something fairly bland and unseasoned as her taste buds are all over the place (I had fish, cauliflower and new potatoes whizzed up with a white sauce and milk tonight).......oh, how I would love to get my teeth into a bacon sandwich!!! I tend to use a lot of avocados as they are packed with good stuff and whizz up with most things very successfully. Will she drink a Scandishake milkshakes? (prescription / full of everything filling but will need a laxative to follow!)

I'm not familiar with the medications you mention but, as you know, someone else will be able to help. One sounds like a steroid, which should give your Mum an appetite, so 'fingers crossed'.

I know it's hard watching our parents suffer - roles reverse and we become the Mother and it hurts us when they don't respond, but don't beat yourself up. I really don't think I have been much help but just want you to know I'm thinking of you and hope that things start to come right pretty soon. Best wishes, Brenda

Sorry to hear about your Mum it must be really stressful for you. Tony and I cared for my Mum in our home for two years, sadly she died last year.

On her "off" days it was very difficult to get her to eat or drink anything and when I tried she would say "stop nagging me", but likewise my husband, Tony, was more successful.

I think you are both angels for caring for you Mum, not many would. Hope everying works out well for you.

Kate

Hello Pauline

Motilin is a gastrointestinal hormone that originates from the upper small bowel. It increases gastric emptying and gut motility. Might have been given to assist bowel movement.

Best wishes
Vinod